A Love Lost in Time
by HaleKent
Summary: Set during Hell's Bells. Kinda AU. After attending Xander and Anya's wedding, Spike gets transported back in time to soon after the "My Will Be Done" spell that Willow had cast. Now that he's stuck in the past, he has to find away back to the future without destroying it.
1. Prologue

Buffy knew the mob was coming. She had come to warn him to leave, to get out of Sunnydale before they could get to him. But they were fast. Too fast. They were only humans, but they were able to overcome her easily. Something wasn't right. Three men tackled her to the ground as she screamed for Spike. "Run!" she yelled at the top of her lungs. The men quickly tied her arms behind her back forcefully. She knew she would bruise from their roughness, but it didn't matter. She had to get out of this and help him. They hauled her up, making her watch as the man on the midnight horse chased Spike through the trees. She could easily see in this moonless night, and that made it worse. His pale skin shone as if it were a beacon, calling the man to him.

She watched as Spike ran. He was running with everything he had in him, and all she could do was watch. _Run!_ her mind screamed. _Run, Spike. Run!_ She struggled against the ropes that bound her wrists. She saw him dodge the trees with ease, but the horse was fast, faster than a mortal horse could ever be. Something about this mob, and everything along with them, was different. Not mortal, but not demonic either. She wished Giles were able to tell her more. She didn't want Spike to die, especially not like this. She didn't want him to die before she could tell him she loved him.


	2. Chapter 1

"I'm getting married tomorrow!" Anya belted as she walked into Buffy's house.

"Yeah, and we'll all be deaf if you keep doing that!" Dawn criticized mockingly.

"I'm sorry. I'm just so happy! I need to call the caterer… and the reception hall… and the bakery… and I need to work on my vows! Oh gods there's so much to do!" she panicked.

"No worries," Willow said, trying to calm the ex-vengeance demon. "I've covered the cake and the caterer and Tara just got off the phone with the reception hall. Everything is in place. Everything is going to be alright."

"Really?" Anya asked gratefully.

"Y-yes. It's going to be beautiful," Tara reassured.

"Oh that's great," Anya replied with a deep sigh of relief.

"Has anyone seen Buffy?" Dawn asked the group of girls.

"I think she's at work," Willow replied, now worried about her friend, but not letting it show. Buffy had been out a lot lately. Working late, patrolling… She had the faintest idea that there might be a guy involved, but she never said anything to her, or to the girls surrounding her. She would just have to find out on her own.

…

…

"Leavin' so soon, pet?" Spike asked as he lit up a cigarette.

"I should've been home by now," Buffy replied, pulling her ugly yellow pants on. She hated the smell of them, but she hadn't changed after she got off work. Her intentions were to go to work, patrol and go home. But conveniently, Spike had shown up as soon as she clocked out and… persuaded her to take a detour.

"Right, well… Off you go. Ta," he said, taking a long drag from the barely lit nicotine and tobacco stick, not sparing a look in her direction.

"You're not going to come see Dawn?" she asked, entirely too hopeful.

"Wasn't plannin' on it. Figured the Bit would be asleep by now anyway."  
"Not tonight," Buffy laughed as she buttoned her shirt. "Anya's staying over so we can help her get ready for tomorrow."

"What's tomorrow?" he asked intrigued, sitting up on his elbows to watch her.

"Anya and Xander's wedding. That's all either of them have been talking about for the past week. Have you really not paid any attention to them?"

"No," he said bluntly.

"Oh," was all she said. "So are you going?"

"Not bloody likely. Don't care much for the boy. Demon girl's alright. But to answer your question, wasn't plannin' on it. Why? Are you?"

"I'm a bridesmaid! Of course I'm going! Xander's my best friend!" After hearing nothing from the vampire on the bed, she sighed, "Whatever. I'm leaving," and began climbing the ladder out of the hidden place under his crypt.

Spike smiled widely as she tried to leave. He rushed to her side, and was pulling her too him quicker than she had time to process what he was doing, even with her Slayer powers. "Spike? What're you doing? Let me go. I need to get home," she protested, kicking wildly as he cradled her in his arms.

"Not before I get a good-bye kiss," he teased.

"No. Let me go!" she said forcefully. She pushed away from him, but he only clung to her tighter.

"Just one, and I'll let you go," he purred seductively.

"Spike… Let me go," she commanded, but her flailing legs calmed.

"Just one," he smiled, kissing her ear and neck every time she protested.

"FINE!" She turned her face to his and planted a small peck on his cheek. "Now let me go."

Reluctantly, he set her down, glaring at her, completely frustrated. "May I have a proper kiss?" he asked, backing her into a wall and placing his hands on each side of her head.

"No," she said, turning her head from him.

"Just one?" he asked, coming closer to her.

"No." Her voice was barely above a whisper now.

"Please?" he asked, his face almost nose to nose with hers. She turned her head to his and saw bright blue eyes staring into hers. She felt her knees shake and although her mind screamed 'no,' the rest of her couldn't move. He took her silence as a 'yes' and moved forward, carefully placing his lips to hers. Buffy's eyes unwillingly closed and she actually began to savor the kiss. Shocked by the nicety of the situation, she pulled away, almost hitting her head against the wall.

"I have to go," she told him quietly.

"You don't have to," he replied in a voice just as quiet. "You could stay for the night. I'd wake you in time for you to be home before daylight."

"I can't…"

"Can't or won't?" he asked a little more harshly, backing away from her.

"Both. Goodnight, Spike." And with that, she hurried up the ladder, fleeing from the crypt as fast as her legs could carry her. She thought of the kiss the entire run home. How soft his hard lips were! Never had she felt lips that soft, even with Riley or Angel. She couldn't describe just how they were, but she was determined not to feel them again. _Too much_, she thought. _Too soft. That wasn't a lustful kiss like it normally was. That was a loving kiss. Can't love. Won't love. Love only ends in hurt._

She slowed as she turned onto Rovello Drive. Her breathing evened out, and her legs began to re-stabilize. She walked in the front door to hear the house alive with laughter. Willow, Dawn, Tara, and Anya were in the living room, laughing from some joke she didn't hear. "Hey, Buffy!" the group greeted.

"Hey, guys," she responded, much less enthusiastically.

"You want to come join us?" Dawn asked, hopeful.

"No thanks. I'm really tired. I'm just going to go wash off this stink and try to get some sleep," she said with a small smile.

"Oh, okay. We'll try to stay quiet then," Tara offered.

"It's no bigs. I won't be able to hear anything once I'm asleep. Have fun."

"Goodnight," Willow called.

"Night, guys." She walked up the stairs quickly, and into her bathroom. She turned the water and began to strip of her disgusting wardrobe. Her mind went back to just minutes earlier. The kiss. Spike's blue eyes. It drove her crazy. But he could never know. What was just fun to her, was so much more to him. She was hurting him, and she was hurting herself. She was just so weak when it came to him. She didn't know why or when it started to be like that, but she didn't like it. She was Buffy, the vampire Slayer. She was strong. Never weak. Weakness meant vulnerable. Vulnerable meant being dead. Again. So that wasn't an option.

She stepped into the shower and shivered as the warm water chased the cold from her body. She hadn't even realized she was cold. She closed her eyes as she submerged herself under the flowing water. She grabbed her loofa and body wash and began scrubbing herself clean. Clean of the nauseating odor that was the Doublemeat Palace. Clean of the feeling Spike had left her feeling. The tingling on her skin. Her shaking knees. The softness of his lips against hers. She could almost feel him near her now. She knew that was impossible. He wouldn't dare. She shivered involuntarily. She jumped when she felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up and a hand around her waist. Her eyes popped open, only to reveal she was alone. _That's impossible. I felt him. His presence. The feeling of when a vampire is near. I know he was here._

After that, she finished her shower much quicker than she had originally intended. _That was too much_. She wrapped herself in her robe and dried her hair. She dressed as comfortable as she could imagine—sweatpants and a t-shirt. She laid down, set her alarm, and bundled into a ball, holding her knees to her chest. Tears began to form in her eyes as she drifted off to sleep. She felt an arm slide around her waist and under her head, holding her against the foreign body.

"Sleep well, pet," she thought she heard. She remembered waking up once, and looking around her room, looking for the person the words had come from, but the room was empty. She fell asleep once again and slept soundly, the best she had in months.


	3. Chapter 2

Buffy, Willow, Dawn, and Tara looked into the full-length mirrors, one by one. "Why couldn't I wear a tux?" Willow complained. "I am the best… woman… after all. I should get to wear a tux."

"No time, sweetie," Tara grinned.

"Wedding is just a few hours. And if I have to wear this, so do you!" Dawn laughed.

"Yours isn't that bad!" Willow said to the younger girl. "You don't have the- the sleeves and the- the ruffles…"

"Doesn't mean it's not ug—I mean beautiful. It's fantastic!" Dawn faked as Anya walked into the room.

"Don't you all look so… gorgeous! I'm glad Xander decided not to go with the larvae suit. This suits you all so much better!" she squealed.

The women rolled their eyes as they were hugged against their will. _It's her day,_ Buffy thought, _she can have whatever she wants. _She released them and returned to Willow's vanity table.

"So, do any of you have dates?" Dawn questioned. Willow and Tara eyed each other with a smile.

"No." Buffy said simply.

"Oh come on," Willow urged. "There's gotta be _someone_ you like?"

Buffy and Tara exchanged unseen glances. "There was this one guy at work, but he got eaten… Other than him, no one," she sort of lied.

"This town sucks," Dawn whined as she plopped onto Buffy's bed. "All the good guys either get killed or are gay… Not that there's anything wrong with that! But ya know?"

"We get it," Willow laughed. "Come on. Let's help Anya." The group of girls helped Anya primp and prepare for her big day. After hours of combing and brushing, pinning and curling, she was ready. As they were about to leave, the phone rang. "I'll get it," the red-head called. "Hello?"

"Will, it's Xander. The hotel double booked our hall. So instead of it being set up for Harris, party of 150, it's booked for a Bar Mitzvah! What are we going to do?"

"Um… Oh! Meet me at the lake in five minutes! I have an idea!"

"Okay, Wills. I trust you."

"Who was that?" Tara asked as Willow hung up the phone. Willow whispered the upsetting news to her friend. "Oh no! What did you tell him?"

"I told him to meet us at the lake. Can you help?"

"What did you have in mind?"

…

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE HOTEL DOUBLE BOOKED US?! I THOUGHT YOU CHECKED WITH THEM? YOU SAID EVERYTHING WAS OKAY!" Anya screamed.

"I know! I know! They said it was, and that everything was set. I didn't know they were going to do this!" Willow defended.

"SO WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? EVERYTHING IS RUINED! This is horrible… It was going to be so perfect, and now it's all ruined!"

"It's going to be fine. Tara and I have it figured out. We have everyone meeting us somewhere else. Trust me, Anya," Willow begged.

"Fine. Okay. Do whatever."

"It'll turn out great, I promise!"

"It better," Anya said under her breath.

…

Xander arrived to the lake as Willow had told him to, still in his jeans and a t-shirt.. The sun was still high in the sky, and the heat was entirely too uncomfortable. "Okay, Will. What did you have in mind?"

"Close your eyes. Let us work our magic," she said, giggling at her pun.

"Alright," he said, closing his eyes. Willow and Tara smiled at each other and muttered a few words of an enchantment. With a wave of their hands, decorations flooded the area. The boring boardwalk that overlooked the edge was turned into a beautiful stage, with Anya's flowers overflowing on the beams. An aisle runner was placed perfectly in the middle of the two sets of the chairs, with chair streamers flowing along each side.

"Okay. You can look," the two grinned widely.

Xander opened his eyes and was immediately in awe. "Oh wow. Wow! This looks better than the hotel! How come we never thought of this before?"

"Anya…" Willow answered.

"Right. Well, that's for the help. Really. This looks awesome. Now only to get everyone here."

"N-no problem," Tara stuttered. "I did a- spell. They know where to come."

"Really?" Willow asked, surprised with her- friend's- ability to do so much.

"Yeah… So, get everyone here in about an hour?"

"Yeah. Well, I have to go finish getting ready."

"I'll come help!" Willow said. "I'm already ready so now we just have to get you ready!... Xander… You're getting married today!" she squealed, hugging her friend tightly.

"I know… I just can't believe it. Come on… Let's go on over to my place," he said, starting to tear up a little.

"Xander, are you crying?" Tara teased.

"No," he sniffled, ruining the lie.

"Let's go cry-baby," Willow laughed.

…

…

Buffy pinned her short hair up, trying to keep the ends from fraying. "Do you need any help?" Dawn asked as she walked in.

"Sure," she replied with a small smile. Dawn pulled and pinned, lightly spraying hairspray to keep the smaller hairs in place.

"You look great," Dawn complimented.

"Thanks." Buffy couldn't help but feel uncomfortable. She wasn't alone with anyone except Spike. That made it even worse.

"So there's not a special guy you want to look good for?" Dawn pried. She knew something was going on with Buffy and Spike. She was almost positive they were boinking. _Gross,_ Dawn shivered lightly.

"Nope. No guy in Buffy's life," Buffy assured.

"Huh. I just thought that with you staying out so much that you may have been seeing someone."

"Just working and patrolling. I don't feel like I have time to have a boyfriend," she smiled again. "Besides, like you said, all the good guys are either dead or gay."

Dawn thought about what she just said. _I said the good ones get killed. Around here, dead could mean vampire. The only good vampires are Angel and Spike. Oh-my-gosh! She is with Spike! Ah! This is so great!_ Dawn simply smiled and nodded. "All done," she said, allowing her sister to look at her work.

"Thanks, Dawnie. It looks great." Buffy stood and gave her sister a hug. Dawn returned the hug, and as she took in a deep breath, she swore she smelt a faint trace of cigarettes. "Come on. It's time to go."

…

The guests arrived in the nick of time. Xander paced as he waited. Anya's friends and his family sat adjacent to each other and some seemed to be at each other's throat. He couldn't stand the tension. He was so ready for them all to leave. _We should've just gone to the court house. But then Anya wouldn't have had her day. She's going to look so beautiful._ His mind continued to race until he saw Willow walking his way. _Oh thank god. It's starting._ He watched as his friends walked down the aisle. They all looked great. He was just anxious to see his soon-to-be wife.

The sun was beginning to set as Anya took her place. The shade covered the guests, cooling the area almost instantly. Buffy pretended not to notice a pale figure take his place amongst the guests. The march started as Anya began her walk. The five people on the stage almost immediately began to tear up. Xander was getting married. They couldn't believe it. It was so amazing that any of them had made it this far. Buffy wished she'd be able to do the same one day, even though first, she had to find a guy. She had given up on Angel so long ago. Riley was a bust, though occasionally she missed him. Sometimes she thought she only missed the idea of him, rather than the actual him. Spike wasn't an option. She was going to break it off with him. For good. She couldn't bear hurting either of them anymore. She knew she was messing with his feelings. He said he loved her. She had said "Vampires can't love without a soul," but she knew she was only trying to fool herself. He had loved Drusilla. Why couldn't he love her now?

Because he was evil. He was a monster. At least that's what she kept telling herself.

Before she knew it, the ceremony was over. She was clapping and cheering with the humans and demons and other magical creatures. The couple walked down the aisle happily, hurrying to their awaited limo. "Now where are we going?" she asked Willow.

"The reception. I talked to the hotel, and they're not even charging them for it! They're going to surprise them with a refund check before they leave!" she giggled.

"Oh, honey," Tara smiled. "You didn't have to do that."

"I didn't! They suggested it!" Willow defended.

"Uh-huh," Dawn mumbled. "Hey, I think I see Spike!" she said before she raced down the aisle toward her friend.

"Dawn, wait!:" Buffy tried to say, but to no avail.

"Come on! Let's get going!" Willow urged, tugging her friend and girlfriend to her car.


	4. Chapter 3

Spike was in awe. It didn't surprise him that no matter what Buffy was wearing, she'd look beautiful. _Looks better in nothing_, he thought with a smirk. He chuckled at Anya's vows, swearing he heard something about the boy being her sex-poodle. _It _would_ be something emasculate like a poodle. Now Slayer is more like… Oh bugger… Shouldn't think about her like that right now. Dammit, too late, _he thought as he adjusted his pants subtly.

He saw Dawn look at him questionably, and he could tell she was trying not to wave at him. He couldn't understand how two sisters could be so different. Dawn loved being around him. She loved to just hang out with him, and even looked up to him some. But Buffy… She pushed him away, looked down on him, and rebuked him about everything. He sunk into his chair, thankful that the sun had set almost completely. If he hadn't been so close to the lake, he wouldn't have even come out of his crypt. He was running out of smokes anyway, so it wouldn't be a complete bust.

He heard Dawn squeal his name before he realized the ceremony was over. _Here we go…_

"Spike! You came! I didn't even know you knew about the wedding…" Dawn mused aloud.

"Hard to ignore those two, Bit," he lied.

"Still, I didn't know you liked them."

"I don't. Couldn't resist seein' yo… you in that dress," he covered. "Who picked that thing out?"

"Anya. It's a compromise, actually. She wanted us to wear the traditional larvae and burlap suit."

"She di' not!" he laughed. "Could only imagine your sis in that!"

"I bet," Dawn said under her breath. "So are you coming to the reception?"

"Suppose so," he shrugged.

"Great! You can be my date!" she said, linking their arms together as they began to walk the few blocks to the hotel.

"No offense, pet, but you're a bit too young for me," he laughed with her.

"Only one who isn't is Anya, and she's taken!"

"Touché." They walked together in comfortable silence, arms still linked together.

"So… How are things between you and Buffy?" Dawn asked.

"Same as always."

"You'll fight together, but you can't be in the same room together?"

_Not without other things happenin'_, he thought. "Yeah."

"You still love her?"

"Yeah, Bit. I do. Can't get that through her head though."

"Stubbornness runs in the family. Mom was almost worse."

"Don't see how that's even possible. I liked your mum, minus the time she tried to kill me. But in her defense, I was after Buffy, so I can understand that. I'd hurt anyone who was after her now."

"Have you even tried asking her on a date? I mean, the first time you even showed interest in her, you told her you loved her. That's rushing it, and not even by a little."

He thought about her words. No, he hadn't asked her on a date. He had tied her up, and tried to convince her she loved him, too. _What was I thinking? And to involve Dru… I was crazier than she was._ "You're right. I haven't. Do you think that'll actually work?"

"I think it would work better than you realize. Just don't do it at the reception. That'd make things way too weird, and it's so cliché."

"Alright. I'll see what I can do," he smiled. He could hear the trio of girls behind him chattering aimlessly. He could feel Buffy's eyes boring in to him, and he wished he knew what she was thinking. On the battlefield, it was so much easier to tell what was on her mind. _Fight, kill, survive._ But the actual world was different. Thinking wasn't exactly her strong suit, but she was in no way stupid. She was brilliant. He tried telling her many times, but she always told him to shut up. It never failed. And it made him feel like a wanker every time she cut him off.

"You okay?" Dawn asked hesitantly. It had been minutes since he had said anything, and the look on his face concerned her, though she wouldn't admit it.

"Yeah. Just lost in m' own head." Silence overtook them as they continued their small walk.

…

…

Buffy studied the pair in front of her. She couldn't understand how Dawn could be so comfortable with him. _I could never do that. Casually hanging on his arm, listening to every word he says. I couldn't imagine what people would say if they knew about us. There is no 'us.' How could I even think that? There could never be an 'us.' Just to think, Buffy with another vampire. I'd be a laughing stock. My friends wouldn't even be my friends anymore. They all hate him. I'm supposed to hate him. But why don't I? Why don't I want to beat his face in like I used to? Why don't I… _her thoughts were cut short as she realized Willow had asked her a question.

"Buffy? Are you okay? What are you looking at?" she asked, nudging her friend cautiously. "What? Yeah, I'm fine…"

"What are you looking at?"

"Nothing," she replied flatly. "Oh, look. We're here," she said, feigning interest.

…

…

Xander scowled as he saw Spike skulking around his reception. _How did he even know to come? Probably Dawn._ He really hated that guy. And how he was actually aloud to, seeing as he was in love with Buffy, and Buffy hates his guts. And the guy had tried to kill him, Willow, and Buffy. All MULTIPLE times. So what if he had helped Buffy kill Angel? He did, too! He's helped save the world almost as much as Buffy did. He was a hero, too. But no one saw that. Sure they saw Buffy. She had the powers. But no one saw him or Willow. They were only the sidekicks. But what was Spike, besides a pain in the ass? A soulless, evil vampire who was "in love" with Buffy. It wasn't fair. _Hey, at least the Buffster had rejected Spike._ That made him feel better. Her only wondered why Buffy hadn't killed Spike years ago.

"I wish Spike was dead," he murmured.

"He is, honey," Anya replied. "He's a vampire."

"Not what I meant."

"Oh, ignore him!" she said gleefully, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him to her. After a quick and passionate kiss, she said, "Besides, it's our day. We're married now. No one is supposed to be upset today. Now be happy! I worked too hard for you to be upset."

"Alright, Anya," he said, whisking her across the dance floor. Whoops and cat calls surrounded them as he bent her back and planted a firm kiss against her lips.

"Does this mean we can have little Xanders now?" she asked as he straightened her up.

"That's what the honeymoon is for," he smiled.

…

Spike watched as Xander and Anya danced away. He suddenly wished that Willow hadn't undone that spell years ago. He wished that Buffy really wanted to marry him, and they could spend forever together. Or however long she would live. He would change her in the blink of an eye, but only if she wanted. He sighed heavily as two words escaped his lips, "I wish…"

"Yes?" a sudden figure asked, emerging next to him.

"Oh no," he cried, jumping away from woman. "No way. I'm making a wish, out loud, especially here!"

"But you're in so much pain," the woman cooed, slithering closer. "Don't you deserve to be happy?"

"Yeah, but not at her expense. I'll be a sad wanker for the rest of my unlife before I make her unhappy."

"Still a poet after all of these years, William?" Helfreck asked as she took the creature's place.

"Got a lot better," he laughed. "Hullo, Cecily."

"Strange, how we ended up. Who would've thought you would be a vampire, and I a justice demon?" she asked rhetorically.

"Justice demon?"

"Oh yes. I prefer 'justice' rather than 'vengeance.' It sounds more… classy… I suppose."

"Mm-hmm…" he mumbled.

"So you're in love with the Slayer?" she asked, glancing between him and his new line of sight. He didn't say anything. In fact, he hadn't really heard the question. Buffy had caught his eye. "I take that as a 'yes'," the demon giggled.

"What?" he asked, not tearing his eyes from the blonde.

"Oh, nothing."


	5. Chapter 4

The reception was almost over before Spike saw Buffy duck away. He casually followed her, convincing himself that what he was about to ask wasn't stupid. "Buffy," he called to her, though he wasn't very far behind her.

"What?" she asked harshly, not turning to face him.

"I need to talk to you," he replied, taking bigger steps to catch up with her quicker.

"Go away," she said quietly, her voice thick and choked up.

"What's wrong, Luv?" he asked, turning her to him, curiosity overwhelming him.

"Nothing," she lied, biting her lip to hide her tears. He carefully lifted her head to meet his, wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "What did you need to talk to me about?"

"Well, I wanted to ask you something," he said, suddenly very shy, and he knew that if he had blood in his veins, he would be blushing.

"Well, I needed to talk to you, too, actually," she said, sniffling.

"You go first," they said simultaneously.

Neither laughed. Instead, they both did as the other said, and began talking.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?"

"We should stop seeing each other."

"What?" they replied again.

"I think we should stop seeing each other."

"Why? Why would you suggest that?"

"It's over, Spike."

"I've memorized this tune, luv. Think I have the sheet music. Doesn't change what you want."

"I know that. I do_ want_ you. Being with you… makes things… simpler. For a little while. I'm using you. I _can't love you. _I'm just being weak, and selfish…"

"Really not complaining here."

"And it's killing me! I have to be strong about this!"

"Buffy, please. Listen to me. I won't do this. You're not being selfish. I need you, too. I want you. I love you, and you know all of this. I agree we went about this the wrong way. If you don't want to have sex anymore, that's fine. We won't. I won't try to convince you otherwise. Just please, let me do something right." He didn't care that he was begging right now. He'd done worse things. He wasn't trying to get in her pants. He wasn't trying to do any of that. He wanted to show her that he really cares for her, and that he really does love her more than anything. He just wanted her to know that. So he did something. He got on his knees, holding her hand, and literally begged. "Please, Buffy, just one date. If you don't like it, then I won't force you. If you want me to leave, I'll leave. I'll do whatever you ask if you just do this for me."

…

Buffy looked at the man in front of her. She couldn't believe that he was actually on his knees, begging for a date. She didn't know if what he was saying was true. She was glad he didn't say anything about never lying to her, because they both knew that wasn't true. "Just one date?" she asked hesitantly.

"Just one, and I'll do whatever you want me to," he promised.

"No…" she said, stepping away. She felt her heart breaking as she saw the hurt in his eyes. "I'm sorry, William. But I can't."

"I wish you would… ugh! I wish Willow would have never undone that spell! I wish we could've gone through with our _marriage_ and you would know then that I really love you! I loved you then, and I love you now! I wish you could just see that!" he yelled to her as she ran home. She pretended to ignore him. What she didn't know was that Helfrek had seen and heard the entire thing.

"Done," the demon said. In a flash, Buffy's whole world changed, but she didn't even know.

…

…

Spike walked back to his crypt, almost in tears. Buffy just frustrated him so much, but there was nothing he could do. He only wanted her to understand that he loved her. He tried showing her so many times, but she would never allow it. As he opened the door, he found himself transported to a different time and place. He opened the door and found that he was in Gile's apartment, stepping out of the man's bathroom. He saw Buffy, but she was different. Her hair was longer, and wavy.

"Oh, Spike," she squealed, rushing to him. "I missed you!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him firmly on his lips.

In shock, he pushed her back, and whispered, "Have you gone crazy?" He eyed the people standing behind her, none looking at them.

"What do you mean?" she asked, looking hurt.

"Do you want them to know about us?" he hissed.

"Of course they know about us! We're engaged!" She smiled, showing him the skull ring on her left hand.

Spike felt like he was going to pass out. He knew that if he actually needed the air that was in his lungs, it would be pushed out the moment her words registered in his head. _There's no way I heard the girl right. Engaged? Us?_ "What the bloody hell is going on here?" he yelled, startling everyone in the room.

"What do you mean?" Buffy asked, looking hurt.

"Red, I thought you fixed this?" he asked, staring at Willow while pointing between him and Buffy.

"I—I tried. The part with Xander and Giles was fixed, but I don't know. Whatever it is between you two... well, I can't do anything about it." "It took him a moment to realize how disheartened she sounded about the whole thing, and how sorry she looked. He realized he could still smell cookies. _Cookies? Oh, god, no._ He eyed the room around him, noticing the calendar hanging on the wall.

His scowl softened into a small smile. "I'm sorry, Willow. Really. That was unnecessary. I'm sure you've done the best you can." He ignored the wide mouthed stares he received in return.

"Umm. It's okay," Willow replied sheepishly. A blush ran to her cheeks as she tried to suppress a smile.

"But you!" Spike began again, pointing to Giles. "What have you done to try to fix this?"

"Spike, I can't say I understand. Just this morning you were thanking us for not being able to _fix_... whatever this is between you. I assure you I have done everything in my power, aside from asking the Council for help. But don't you dare ask me to do that. There is no telling what they would do if they found out the Slayer was engaged to the Slayer of Slayers..." Giles removed his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"A'right, Watcher. Sorry. Things are just... strange... for me..." Spike said vaguely.

"Is my Spikey-wikey sick?" Buffy pouted as she wrapped her arms around him, and stared into his blue eyes.

Unable to resist touching her, or looking at her, he gently brushed back her hair and smiled at her. "No, pet. I'm not sick. I'm just a little confused. Why don't you let me talk to your friends a for a bit? Some private matters," he smiled, hoping she would assume he meant wedding plans.

"Okay," she grinned, kissing him strongly before leaving the room. "I'm going to go for a quick patrol. I'll see you in a few?"

"Yeah, Luv," he nodded as he watched her leave. As soon as the door shut, and he knew she wasn't around anymore, he fell onto the couch next to Willow. He put his head in his hands and took several deep breaths, as if it would help.

"Spike," Willow began, "are you okay?"

"No..." he said almost in a whisper. "I need your help. All of you. This... This isn't right."

"You can say that again," Xander scoffed.

"I'm serious! I'm... I'm not from this time. I think I'm from the future," he said, trying to put the pieces together; however, none of them heard the last half as they were too busy laughing about him being from the future. "Oh, come off it! I am serious! In my future, Willow's spell was broken. Buffy went back to dating that army boy, and just a whole lot of nonsense."

"Army boy?"

"Yeah. Tall, burly. Some bloke from the university."

"Oh, you mean Riley?" Willow asked.

"Yeah, him. She'd be with him if it wasn't for this. It isn't right... It's not supposed to happen like this..."

"Why did you call him 'army boy'?" Xander asked.

"What's not?" Giles asked, looking incredulously at the vampire sitting on his couch.

"She's not supposed to be forced to love me... I never wanted that, even if..."

"Even if what?" Giles demanded now. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything! I was at their wedding, and I may have made a wish..."

"Whose wedding?" Xander asked.

"What wish?" Anya questioned.

"Your wedding," he replied, pointing between the lovers. "And I wished that the spell hadn't worked. I was walking into my crypt when I came out here."

"We get married?" Xander said to himself, lost in his own world.

"We get married!" Anya exclaimed, quickly hugging tightly to the man.

"Oh come now. You don't seriously think we would believe you're from the future?" Giles laughed at him.

"But he says we get married!" Anya exclaimed.

"And he doesn't always tell the truth," the older man retorted.

"Well, what else can you tell us about the future?" Willow asked innocently.

"Ooh, not a good idea," Anya spoke up. "If he really is from the future, if he tells us anything, then it could change it."

"He's already told us about us getting married," Xander said.

"Look..." Spike spoke up, "I dunno what changes what here. I dunno if I'm back in time, or in an alternate reality, or both. I don't know how I got here!"

"Hold on a minute. Question one: Why did you call Riley 'army boy'? Question two: What wish? Question three: we get married?"

"Xander, the last one isn't so important right now," Willow said quietly.

"I called him that because he's a commando. Ya know, one of the wankers that put this chip in my head. And I happen to say something at _your_ wedding that the spell hadn't gotten reversed."

"Why on earth would you say that?" Giles asked, laughing at undead man.

"Because I'm in love with her!" Spike yelled, standing from the couch and running out of the door.

No one said a thing. Instead, they all looked at each other dumbfounded. Xander, of course, was the first to speak. "Did he just say..."

Willow replied with a mumbled, "Uh-huh."

Again, Xander was the first to speak, Or rather, laugh hysterically. Words like, "Spike in love," and "with Buffy" passed through his lips as he tried to breathe. He didn't see the cautious looks Giles and Willow gave the other. As Xander calmed, he said, "This is too good to be true."

"Why?" Anya asked, picking at her fingernails.

"Spike... The Big Bad... Mr. I'm-going-to-kill-you-on-Saturday... is in love with Buffy."

"And..?"

"And it'll never happen. She'll never fall in love with him. He's a monster..." he said. The bravado he had in his voice slowly faded as the laughter turned in to anger. "We should have staked him years ago."

"I think it's a good thing," Anya said, still looking at her nails.

"And why would you think that, Ahn?"

"Spike's not all that bad. He hasn't tried to kill us in a while. Maybe he's changed," she replied, shrugging her shoulders. "I like him. Not like I wanna have sex with him kind of like, even though he does have a really nice body... "

"Anya!" Xander exclaimed, looking at her disbelievingly.

"You know I love you," she smiled, slugging him in the arm.

"A-hem," Giles coughed, "well, I do see how the situation could be in our favor. But I also see how it could turn dangerous."

"Dangerous? Giles, it's Spike," Willow said, looking up to her elderly friend. "Anya is right. He hasn't tried to hurt us in a really long while. Do you really think he could be dangerous?"

"Will, he hasn't tried to hurt us because he's chipped! He _can't_ hurt us, but it doesn't mean he wouldn't if he could. He's still a vampire. A soulless, evil, demon."

"Hey, ex-demon, here," Anya exclaimed.

"But you're good! You've changed," Xander said, pleading with her to understand that he didn't mean to hurt her with his words.

"And he can't?" Willow asked softly, trying to look into her friend's eyes for understanding.

"No! It's Spike! C'mon, Will. Don't you remember when he locked us up? Tried to kill us?"

"Xander, I'm not going to forget that," Willow scolded. "But I don't see why he can't change, too."


	6. Chapter 5

Spike ran. He didn't know what he was going to do. He knew he needed to get out of this universe and back to his own. He wanted _his_ Buffy back. _Not mine... but mine all the same..._ His thoughts haunted him. He royally screwed up, but he didn't know what to do. "Dammit, Helfrek!" he yelled, slowing his run to a walk as he neared the cemetery.

He smelled her. He knew she was close, and it took all that was in him not to fling himself into her arms and enjoy it while it lasted. _I need to end this. I need to make things right. Can't force her to be with me. Even if she wants to be with me here. Even if she knows she loves me, but won't let herself admit it. _"Dammit, Buffy," he whispered.

He looked up from his clunky shoes, and searched the space for her. He noticed the flash of blond just meters away. He sighed and braced himself for what he was about to do. Never in a million lifetimes would he think he would about to do this. He just wished he wouldn't end up with a bloody nose, but somehow, he knew that was inevitable.

"Spike!" the girl exclaimed, dusting a vampire as Spike came into view. "You're here! I've missed you!" Buffy bounced over to him and wrapped her small arms around his neck. She pushed upward onto her toes, leaning to kiss him. It took everything in him to push her away gently. _This is going to hurt._

"Hey, pet. I'm glad I found you. I needed to talk with you."

"About what?" she grinned, not seeming phased his lack of affection.

"About us. Sla—Buffy... how do you feel about me?"

He knew the question had caught her off guard. Feeling had never come up before. Especially not between them. Not until recently. "Uh... What do you mean?"

"What do you," he began, pointing to her, "feel for me?" pointing to himself.

"I... I want to marry you," she said, trying to put her arms around him once again.

"Yeah, I get that. Do you care about me? Do you love me? Hell, Slayer, do you even like me?" he asked, raising his hands into the air.

She dropped her arms, and stepped away from him. "I don't understand. Do you still want to be with me?"

"More than you know," he replied. "But please, answer me." He could see the emotions racking against her. Confusion hammered against her like a tidal wave overcoming an island.

"I—I know I'm supposed to hate you. I'm not supposed to want to kiss you, or want to hold you... I—I know I'm supposed to fight you and not care about you. But... some part of me does care about you... I don't hate you..."

"Buffy... do you love me?"

"I... I want to be with you."

He sighed heavily and dropped his head. He had to do it, and it had to be now. "I'm gonna hate myself for this... Pet, we can't be together... I'm—I'm calling off the wedding..." He tried to ignore the tear forming in her eye. He tried ignoring how she looked like she had fought her toughest opponent and had been beaten... He hated himself so much right now, and he knew he was only getting started. _It's going to be a long night._

He tried to help her, but she didn't want him to touch her. Angrily, she threw his ring at him, hitting him directly in the head, leaving a strange imprint on his head. He wanted to help her back, if not to her dorm, than to Giles' apartment. It was closer. "C'mon," he tried to tell her, "I'm going to take you back to ya Watcher's and ya friends."

"Get away from me!" she said. "I don't want to see you. Ever. Leave me alone, Spike." And with that, she turned and ran from him.

"Bollocks," was all he could manage to say.

...

Buffy ran, and she ran hard. She was shaking to the core and a part of her hated him for what he just did. A part of her understood that it made sense and that she was just being stupid. She flung open the door to Giles' apartment and slumped down next to Willow. The people in the room were flabbergasted at what they saw. A crying Slayer was NEVER a good thing. This time, Xander kept his mouth shut.

"Buffy! What's wrong?" Willow asked, pure concern coursing through her.

"Spike..." was all she said.

"What did he do?!" Giles and Xander replied simultaneously.

"He... he... broke—"

"Broke what?!" Giles yelled, standing in anger and assumptions.

"The wedding off..." she was crying on Willow's shoulder now, who was trying to comfort her aching friend.

With a sigh of relief, the men looked to the other, and Giles regained his seat. "Er... I'm sorry about that, Buffy. Truly, I hate to see you upset."

"Yeah, Buff. But ya know, there are other fish in the ocean..." Xander said, trying to lighten her mood. Willow glared at him, which resulted in him cowering against Anya. _Yep. Not the right thing to say,_ he thought. "Sorry. Not the right thing to say."

"It's—hiccup—okay," she managed to say. "You... you're right. More fishies." She sat up and wiped her face. She put on a fake grin and stood. "I'm... I'm gonna go back to the dorm. Come with?" she asked, looking at Willow.

"Of course. See you guys tomorrow, and we'll figure out what's going on with the commando guys. K?"

"Yeah," Xander nodded. Giles stood, and hugged his wounded warrior.

"You'll be alright?" he asked, looking down at the girl who could be his daughter.

"Yeah, Giles. I'll be fine. Just... need to sleep."

"See you tomorrow," he smiled, hiding his worry.

...

The two girls walked down the sidewalk, Buffy clinging to Willow's arm desperately. "Hey Buff, not that I hate the friendly clinging, do ya think you could lighten up a little?"

"Sorry," she replied, lightening her grip, but not her sadness.

"Are you okay?"

"No," she said, not even pretending to lie. "I just feel... empty."

"I know what you mean," Willow replied, attempting to give her friend a hopeful look.

"I'm sorry, Will..."

"No, it's okay. I'm coping... And you're stronger than I am. Does that make a difference?"

"I don't think so. It still hurts."

"Buffy... that thing with Spike... what is—was—that all about? I mean, I know I kinda had a hand in it, but I thought that once I did the reversal spell, I thought it was supposed to end it, but it didn't. I just don't understand what happened."

"I—I don't know. It never felt like I was under a spell, and it doesn't feel like it now. I just know that when he asked me, it felt right. I was happy, but he apparently doesn't want me. Just like Angel. Just like Parker. Just like dad..." she said, her voice almost a whisper.

"I'm sure that's not it, Buffy! Besides, we love you, me and Xander and Giles, and your mom. Maybe—maybe Spike's not the-um- guy for you. You'll find someone!" Willow said, trying to cheer up her sullen friend.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! And me, too. I mean, I love Oz, I do. And I think I'll always love him. But maybe it's not meant for us to be."

"Yeah..." Buffy said, still crestfallen.

"Ya wanna go to the Bronze? See if we can get some guys to buy us some drinks?" Willow asked, a bit hopeful.

"No thanks, Will. Buffy and booze are definite non-mixy things. How about we go back to the dorm and curl up with Ben and his best friend Jerry?"

"That sounds pretty wonderful to me."

...

Spike watched as Buffy leaned against Willow as they walked back to their dorms. He didn't want to be a stalker or anything, he just wanted to make sure she got home alright. He hadn't expected her to get so upset. He hadn't expected to hurt her. Not only did he feel like the world's biggest idiot, but he also felt like he had just ripped his own heart out and staked it himself. But he had to. If he was going to be stuck in this time, he had to make sure he didn't change it. But he had already changed it, right? He had told the Scoobies that he loved Buffy. In this time, not even she knew that. She was supposed to be with Riley, not pawning over him, no matter how badly he wanted it, wanted her. God, he had royally screwed up. _Maybe Watcher could help_, he thought to himself. As if his feet had known all along, he walked back to Giles' apartment.

He sighed as he approached the man's door. _Should I knock? Should I just barge in?_ Then he thought of what everyone else did. With that, he opened the door and walked into the room. As soon as he had shut the door, he was thrust against it. As his sight cleared from the hit that would give a human a concussion, he was astonished to see Xander holding him up by his throat. He had heard the man say something to him, but all Spike heard was a ringing in his ears and some mumbling.

"Answer me!" Xander yelled at him.

"What was the question?" he coughed.

"I said, 'how could you hurt Buffy like that?' You say you love her, but then you break her heart?"

"It's not what you think," he murmured.

"Well then, tell me what it is like."

"If you would release me, I'll be happy to talk to Watcher here about it."

"Why not tell me?" Xander asked, tightening his grip.

"Because, unlike you, he can keep some things private." Spike looked over to the man, who was glaring at him and the boy.

"Let him go," Giles said, removing his glasses to rub his shirt over the lenses. Xander looked over his shoulder to the older man, who nodded in reassurance. "You two better leave. It's getting rather late and you both have jobs to be at in the morning." Xander released Spike and helped Anya to her feet.

"See you later, G-man." Giles rolled his eyes and waved slightly as they shut the door behind them.

"Now then, what is it you wish to tell me?"

"Red's spell. In my world, it ended. Buffy went back to hating me, but we still work with each other. The chip is still in my head, even though I would never hurt anyone. I... I fell in love with her. She doesn't know any of this, and I don't think she should. I'm trying not to disrupt the future, but just me having this knowledge is doing that. I never meant to hurt her. When I made that wish, I was angry. I know I shouldn't have made it, so don't give me that look. I just don't know how to fix it."

Spike could only place the look Giles was giving him was how one would look at something with multiple heads. "So, you're in love with Buffy? You do realize how absurd that sounds?"

"You have no idea," Spike chuckled. "I used to want to kill her, and now I can't be around her without wanting to kiss her," he said in a low voice.

"In your world, do you two have a relationship?"

"Of sorts."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning I don't know what kind of relationship it is. She won't let it be what I want it to be."

"Are you aware that you're being awfully vague?"

"Yeah, I am. In my world, we do have... _something._ There's not much I can tell you without mucking everything up. But that's not the point. The point is, I'm here, when I should be there. I screwed this up. I know it. But how do I fix it?"

"Yes well... you said you made a wish?"

"Yeah, and I think I know who did it, but she's not one to change it back so easily. Giles...what should I do?"

Taken aback by the use of his name, Giles waited a moment before answering the sad vampire. "Maybe you should just act like the Spike from this time would act. Just try to remember what you did here."

"That's the thing though... My mem'ries... They're starting to get fuzzy. I can remember everything that's happened recently in my world, but when I think of how things are now, it's hazy."

"Hmm... Well, I don't know what else to tell you. I, however, am going to bed. It has been entirely too eventful, and I fear I may be getting a bit old," he said as he stood, stretching his back carefully.

Spike resisted the urge to laugh at the man. He had never gotten along with him before, but he sensed he could, in this time. He had been too much of a pain in the future. _Maybe that's something I can work on here.._ "When this is all over, could you do one thing for me?"

"What's that?"

"Do a forgetting spell. Don't let Red do it... But on Buffy and everyone... They don't need to know about what's don't the road."

"Ah, well... We'll see."

"No, that's not good enough!" he growled, standing against Giles face to face. "Promise me," he pleaded.

"Alright, Spike... Good night," he nodded, backing away from him.

"Ta..." Spike sighed heavily as he watched Giles ascend to his bedroom. He sat once again on the couch, and tried to remember everything that happens around this time. He grabbed the pen and paper that was luckily within reach and began writing.


	7. Chapter 6

Buffy tossed and turned all night, unable to get much sleep. As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop thinking about the most recent man that had hurt her. She didn't understand what she kept doing wrong. First, Angel... He left. He wanted to protect her, and he couldn't be around her because that would tempt him too much. And Parker... Parker was an ass. She knew that now. He was too much of a man-whore to be anything serious. But the lingering question was still there. Why didn't he want her and just her? Wasn't she good enough? Was she really so bad in bed that everyone just wanted to leave her? Spike had said so before. When he was after the Gem of Amarra... He was always the one who said truthful things whenever she never wanted to hear them. Was this one of those things? Was he right about this too?

But then it came to him. They had never had sex, yet he still didn't want to be with her.

Was she so repulsive? Was she such a horrible person that no one wanted her? She thought about all these all night, resulting in her eyes being completely red the next morning. After a few eye drops, she knew her Slayer healing would kick in and make them good as new. _Too bad that doesn't work with a broken heart,_ she thought. She made herself as presentable as possible and made her way to Giles', already determined on what she was going to do.

She was silently thankful that it was November. The sun set early, which means she could patrol early. That was one thing that kept her going was knowing she could beat the crap out of some fledglings without any repercussions. She could talk about anything and they wouldn't be able to repeat a single thing, because they would be dead within seconds of her finishing.

She had killed two on her way to Giles', and had felt the presence of another the entire walk there. She knew who it was. She always knew. Only one—well, two—vampires could barely be there and be completely there at the same time, and one was in Los Angeles. She felt her heart squeeze on its own accord as she caught a whiff of cigarettes. _Don't think about how he's only about five feet away, or how he kisses, or how he hurt you..._ She pushed her thoughts away the best she could, eager to be with her friends, even if it was for the short while she had planned. Opening the door, she fake smiled to her friends, and asked what the new bad was.

"Well it seems we have some new information on those mysterious people you've seen lately."

"Really?"

"Yes... Um.. Spike was able to tell us a few things about them.. They're hiding underground, somewhere near campus."

"Didn't we already know that?"

"We did, but what we didn't know was that Riley is one of them," Willow said uneasily.

"Riley? Big, tall, teachers assistant Riley?"

"Yeah, him," Xander scoffed.

"Oh... Well, maybe we could see if we can get some information out of him?"

"You could so do that!" Willow said enthusiastically. "He totally has a crush on you!"

"No, he doesn't. He's just a spaz..."

"A totally cute spaz that has a giant crush on the Buffster."

"Whatever," Buffy said, ignoring the encouraging look Willow was giving her. "Anyway, I was just stopping by to tell you all that I'm going to go on patrol and then head home... Mom's gone this weekend and I miss being in my bed."

"Ooh, wanna hang? Get some pizza, popcorn, and rent a movie?" Xander asked.

"No, thanks. Just some time alone..."

"Oh, well, you know where we'll be if you need us," Giles said, not completely ignoring his Slayer's feelings or the looks she was making.

"Alright, well, I'll see you guys later..." she said, waving as she walked out the door.

"So how does she seem to you guys?" Xander asked.

"In pain," the two said simultaneously. "She's hurting," Willow said.

"Is it strange that she's hurting over Spike?" Xander asked.

"Very much. But it's not the first time she's fallen for a vampire," Willow replied.

"Yes, but this seems a lot worse than Angel," Giles said forlornly.

"Which again, also weird. She actually loved Angel. She doesn't love Spike, right?"

...

Buffy walked toward the cemetery, quietly waiting for the vampires show. After several minutes of nothing, she sighed and sat atop a nearby headstone. "Spike, if you're going to be around me, you could at least be where I can see you." _Just feeling you there is worse._

"Didn't want to be in your way, pet," he said, sulking into view.

"It's not like it's crowded," she said, opening her arms to show the wide-open view of the empty cemetery.

"Thought you wanted me to leave you alone," he said softly.

"I did... I do. But if you're going to follow me, I at least want you to be where I can see you. It's easier. Anyway, it's dead here. No pun intended. I think I'm just gonna head home."

"Then why'd you call me out?"

_Because I wanted to see you, if only for a second. _"Because I was getting annoyed," she lied. She was good at that, especially with him. Willow could catch when she was lying, and occasionally so could Giles. Spike couldn't though. He didn't know her, not like the others.

"Uh-huh. Well, ta," he said, walking away.

"Will you walk with me?" she asked quickly, the words sputtering from her mouth quicker than she could think.

"Umm... alright," he said. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stalked beside her.

Within minutes, they were at Rovello Drive in front of her house.

"Wanna come in?" she asked hesitantly.

"What?" he asked disbelievingly.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked again, this time more sure of herself. She was looking at him fully in the eye and she was praying he would. She opened the door and walked in, leaving it open if he dared enter. She didn't turn around. She didn't wait for an answer. Instead, she walked right up to her room.

...

Spike was flabbergasted. He heard the words, and saw her movements, but it didn't completely register. He stared disbelievingly at the empty space in front of him. He was straining to figure out why Buffy was acting this way. It wasn't normal for her, in any time. He huffed as he hauled himself inside, shutting the door behind him, and jogged up the stairs. "Buffy, what're you..." his words were cut short by the sight of a very naked Buffy, sitting on the edge of her bed. Immediately he turned his back, shocked to see her like that. "Slayer," he growled, "what do you think you're doing?" He heard her breathing hitch and was dreadfully curious to what she was thinking.  
"Spike..." she said softly, "don't you want me?"  
_ YES!_ his body screamed. "Buffy, love, I do. But not like this."  
"Oh," she said. He heard her bed squeak and her shuffling around. "You can turn around now."  
"You decent?"  
"Yeah... What do you mean 'not like this?'"  
He turned to look at the hurt young woman behind him. "I mean, I don't want to take advantage of you. You're hurt, confused, and who knows what else. I don't want to have sex with you."  
"Oh," she said again, wrapping her robe tighter to her. He couldn't ignore the small tears forming in her green eyes.  
He groaned inwardly and took a step toward her. "I don't want to have sex with you."  
"I heard you the first time," she said angrily.  
"You don't understand. I don't want to have sex with you, because I want to make love to you. I want to because we love each other, not just to get some pleasure out of it."  
"Wow," she said automatically. " I don't think I've ever heard a guy say that. That's kinda the exact opposite of Parker..." she said grimly, flinching slightly at the use of his name. Part of her still hurt from his stupidity.  
"Parker?"  
"Yeah..? Don't you remember? You kinda rubbed it in my face that I wasn't any-good," she said sheepishly.  
"When was that?"  
"A few months ago. You had gotten ahold of the Gem of Amarra..." He was kicking himself pretty hard now. He had forgotten how sensitive she used to be, and how he managed to make everything worse.  
"So Stupid..." he said too soft for her to hear.  
"Spike, are you okay?" she asked with genuine concern, subconsciously stretching a hand out to meet his.  
"Yeah. Just-um- having a bit o' trouble remembering things lately." Wasn't exactly a lie.  
"Things have been pretty crazy. I feel like that too, ever since I got back from LA. I always feel like I'm forgetting something."  
Of course he knew what that was. She and Angel had had an amazing day together, because Angel had accidentally returned to being human. Stupidly he gave it all up. Why? Because he thought he'd be a liability. _More of a wanker than I realized. The Great Poof doesn't know when to be happy. I'd do anything for her. I'd stay human... Think she might like it better that way..._ "Yeah. Well if you are all right, I'm going to head out. I've gotta..."  
"Will you stay? Please?"  
"Thought you said you wanted to be alone?"  
"I wanted to be away from my friends. They mean well, but... I mean Wilow hurts just as..."  
_ As bad as she does,_ he thought, filling the blanks in.  
"And Xander just doesn't know what to say or act about it. Giles is- well, Giles. He thinks he knows best, but he's almost as bad as Xander."  
He sighed as she finished talking. He knew he should go. He's always known he should leave, but he could never bring himself to leave. Sometimes he thought himself to be a coward. He could never face his biggest opponent for fear of losing. He couldn't bear to be alone anymore. So, he stayed in Sunnydale, where people feared and hated him, and demons respected him. The Hellmouth. _Well that part's right. Certainly is a hellhole._ "Alright, pet. I'll stay. 'S long as you get some clothes on first."  
She smiled softly and nodded. And he, being the gentleman he is, left the room until she called to him. "Wouldn't you rather go downstairs?" _So I'll be less tempted to rip those clothes right off you.  
_ "Not really. I mean, I'm pretty tired. Haven't gotten much sleep lately," she blushed.  
"Why's that?" he asked, taking a seat in her desk chair.  
"I was looking up stuff..." she said vaguely.  
"For what?"  
"Our wedding," she whispered, looking down at the frayed ends of her old, oversized t shirt.  
"Ah. Look, I am sorry I called it off, really. But don't you think we rushed in to it?"  
"No. I mean, we've known each other for years."  
"Yeah, but we were trying to kill each other! Buffy, think about it. A few weeks ago you hated me. You wouldn't even give me a pack of blood on Thanksgiving! Why would you want to marry me?"  
Buffy sat quietly on her bed. He was praying that he was getting through to her. She had to move on, continue with her life. She had to be with sodding Army Boy. She had to. "You're right. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense that I can't sleep because I'm worry about you. It doesn't make sense that all I can think about is you kissing me, or holding me, or even just touching me! Hell, it doesn't make sense that all this was in my mind years ago, and not just now!" Her voice was frantic now. She was grasping for the right word, trying so hard not to crack. She couldn't believe she was actually telling him this, but there really was no use in her lying to him. She was tired of lying, of hiding...  
"I- what?" was all he could say. He was no longer idly sitting in her chair, and she wasn't sitting on her bed either. They were standing, face to face, wide eyed at each other. He didn't know if he could trust what she was saying, but he knew she had no reason to lie.  
"There's something there, Spike. I feel it, and i know you know it. I have these feelings, and I don't understand them. I want to, God I do. Half the time I just want to punch you, and the other half I want to kiss you. I-"  
He could feel her body heat close to him. He could feel her breath on his skin, and her voice vibrating through him. And her words! He prayed so hard that what she was saying was true. He didn't think he could bear it if it wasn't. He couldn't take it anymore. Without a second thought, he kissed her, hard and soft at the same time. He knew how to kiss her to make her moan, or to squirm, or to do anything he wanted. But he didn't want to push. He just... He pulled himself away, and immediately regretted it. He had kissed a willing Buffy, but not like this. This Buffy was desperate to feel loved, not just to feel. "Buffy," he moaned, as she started kissing his neck.  
"Hmm?" she mumbled against his skin as she wrapped her arms around him, pushing his duster off. The lapels reached his hands before he realized he needed to push her away.

"Buffy, love, stop," he mumbled.

"Why?" she asked, continuing to rub her hands over his torso and nibbling on his ear.

"We've already had this conversation," he said, finally pulling away from her. "I'm gonna go. See ya later then," he said, walking out of the room and not looking back.


	8. Chapter 7

Buffy sighed heavily and laid back on her bed. Tears slowly began to fall freely from her eyes as she buried her head into her comforter. She didn't know how long she had cried before finally being able to stop. She could feel a heaviness on her chest and how she was close to getting a headache from the uncontrollable tears. She calmed herself enough to be able to pick up her phone and call her best friend. The phone only rang twice before she heard Willow pick up. "Hello?" she answered.

"Hey, Wills," she said, her throat still thick.

"Buffy? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Um, not—not really. Do you think you could come over? I... I really need someone."

"Of course! I'll be there soon. Do you need anything?"

"No... Just a friend."

"I'll be there in ten minutes." The girls hung up, and Buffy wondered what she could do to keep herself occupied for the short time. It didn't take her long to realize that she desperately needed a shower. She hopped in the scalding water and just let it burn the feelings away. Eight minutes later, she emerged, drying off quickly, and dressed in her most comfortable clothes. She heard Willow call for her downstairs. She let her location known and sat on her bed, mentally preparing herself for the conversation she was about to have. "Hey, are you okay?" Willow asked, setting her bag down in the chair Spike had just been sitting in.

"Not really."

"Well, what happened?"

"Umm... I left Giles' I went patrolling. And Spike was there. So, I got him to walk me home and asked him to come in." Her face was already turning red from the embarrassment, but she was trying her hardest to be truthful with her best friend.

"And...?"

"And I—offered—myself to him. I told him that I wanted him, and wanted to be with him, and that I've been thinking like this for a long time. He kissed me, then he left." Buffy went silent as she waited for Willow to adjust to her words.

"Okay... Wait, how long, Buff?"

"How long what?"

"How long have you thought about him like that?"

"I don't know... Since I had that truce with him. I mean, it's not like I haven't thought about him in _that_ way, because I mean really, have you seen him? But I mean, I threw myself at him, and you know what he said. He said that he didn't want to have sex with me. He said he wanted to _make love_ with me! I mean, is that even possible? For him to love without a soul?" Willow was in awe at her words. "Spike said he wanted to make love with you, but not then? I don't understand. What was he waiting for, then?"

"I don't know. Will... Why doesn't he want to be with me? I mean, is it because I'm the Slayer? I'm not the only Slayer. When Faith gets better, she can take over, and I can just be me. I can just be Buffy."

"But, that's part of who you are. You _are_ the Slayer. It's not like you can just turn that part of you off, right? I mean, if you could, I know you would. Buffy, we all just want you to be happy. You seemed to be going the right way with Riley. You could think about him and not get all mopey."

"It's not the same. The little crush I had on Riley doesn't even amount to what I feel for Spike. I... I wish I could I tell you what I mean. I haven't been able to sleep because I'm worried about him. I feel all rumbly in my belly when I see him... I think about him all the time, and not in a 'I'm ready to kill you' kinda way. I have these feelings for him I can't place, and it scares me... Will, what am I going to do?"

Willow smiled lightly and shrugged. "When you figure it out, can you tell me?"

...

Spike, of course, hadn't immediately left her house after he said he was leaving. He leaned against his tree and listened as she cried for him. He could have sworn his heart was breaking with every tear she shed. But he waited. He knew, eventually, she would stop. And then what? She'd probably go kill something, or call Willow. He hoped the latter. He didn't want to see her get hurt from being careless.

After half an hour, she finally stopped crying. He heard her pick the phone and dial a number. He nodded to himself, glad she was doing as he had hoped. He waited those, casually walking the perimeter of her house, as he waited for either her to leave or Willow to arrive. It wasn't long before he saw her walk straight in, calling out for Buffy.

He wasn't trying to listen to their conversation, really. But it seemed that every time he assured himself it would be a good time to go, he heard Buffy's voice. _She's not holdin' a thing back. Tellin' Red everythin'. _He knew then, that everything she had said to him wasn't just a ploy. She was being honest. What an idiot he was. He groaned and stalked to Giles'. He staked several vampires that was anywhere close to either residence, subconsciously protecting her, even now.

Buffy awoke with a massive headache. Groaning, she looked around, remembering the previous night. She was glad she had talked to Willow about everything. Telling someone just made the pain a little more bearable. She looked to the clock and sighed as it only read nine o'clock. They had stayed up talking to well after two that morning, longer than they had in a while.

"Not the monkeys," Willow mumbled in her sleep.

Buffy grinned and gently nudged her sleeping friend. "Hey, Wills, Time to get up," she said with a yawn.

"Hmm? Five more minutes..."

"C'mon. I need to find Riley today, and I'll need your help."

"My help with what?" she asked, not opening her eyes quite yet.

"Remembering how to fake flirt."

"M-me? I don't know how to flirt, especially in a fake way," the redhead said, sitting up abruptly.

"I'm just kidding. I'll need you to track him down."

"I kinda know where he lives already," she said, looking down sheepishly. "You've been there, too."

"Really?"

"Yeah, at that party a few weeks ago. He asked you about that reading assignment."

"Oh. Well, um... wanna come with? We can talk tactics about how I say, 'Hey, I know you're a commando. You've chipped my boyfriend. Wanna chat?'"

"Uh, well, I think you can leave out the 'you chipped my boyfriend' part. That might raise a few more questions."

"Yeah, you're right," Buffy said as she walked to her closet. "Ugh, I don't even know what to say to him. Last time I saw him, I was looking at wedding dresses, and I told him I was engaged to Spike! Now what?"

"Oh, I know! You could say it was a joke. Say you saw that he was freaking out about you window-shopping for wedding dresses, and that you made the whole thing up."

"I guess," she shrugged, looking through her clothes. She groaned and crossed her arms. "Now I don't have anything to wear."

...

Willow called Giles while Buffy was changing clothes to let him know of the plan. "Willow, you must be careful. We are not completely certain of what they are capable of. Now, I've done quite a bit of talking with Spike, and he tells me that they know about as much demonic activity that we do. Except they do not ask why or even care why they are here. They only tag them and do research. He says there is something big in their lab, but he won't tell me what. We need to get Buffy down there so she can find out what it is."

"Umm, Giles, don't you think you should be telling Buffy this?"

"Just give her a brief explanation. You don't have to say any of it came from Spike, specifically. Just tell her something."

"Okay... Well, we're headed to campus now. We'll see you later?"

"Yes, alright."

"So, what did Giles have to say?" Buffy asked as she came down the stairs, prettied up just for fake flirting with Riley.

"He said we need to take it easy with initiating everything with Riley," Willow lied expertly. "He said we needed to be careful."

"Well duh. Do you think I should even bring up anything about the commando stuff?"

"Not yet..."

"Yeah... Seems a little heavy for the light talking. Guess we better get going." Willow only nodded.

...

"You thought I was serious?" Buffy asked, faking a laugh and sincerity.

"Uh, well, no. I m.. You weren't serious?"

"Oh, God, please. I'm marrying a guy named, 'Spike?'"

"Maybe. We haven't known each other that long."

"No, it's just... I saw that fear in your eyes when you caught me looking at wedding dresses, and I had to give you a hard time.

"I did not have fear in my eyes."

"Yes you did. You were looking at me like I was a cartoon ball and chain."

"So you decided to tell me you were getting married."

"Uh-huh."

"So... you're insane."

"Uh-huh."

"But you're still single."

"Yes."

"Okay, then. Just another little piece of the Buffy puzzle."

"You really have a lot to learn about women, Riley."

"You're gonna teach me."

...

"That sucked," she whined to Willow as they walked to Giles'.

"Hmm?"

"Lying to him like that. It felt weird. I mean, I know I lie to a lot of people about me being the Slayer and everything, but that's different. I felt bad flirting with him."

"You looked pretty natural at it. He bought it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. He really lit up when you said you were single," Willow beamed, hoping to make her friend feel better.

"Not really helping, Wills," Buffy said.

"Sorry," she said as they opened the door. Buffy's heart flipped as she saw Spike lying on Giles' couch, not even tied up. Just lying there as if he owned the place.

"I need you to take Spike for a few days," Giles directed to Xander.

"I'm not staying with him," Spike said, standing up with a look of horror on his face.

"I have a friend that's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone for a few days."

"Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?" Anya asked bluntly.

"Yes, that is exactly the worst thing you could have said," Giles groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose.

"I can take him," Buffy volunteered sheepishly.

Spike groaned internally. Yeah, he'd love that, but he wouldn't be able to control himself. He looked to Xander who seemed to be giving him a similar look. "He can stay with me," Xander said, looking to the floor in submission.


	9. Chapter 8

Spike sighed as Xander woke up. He knew that the boy wouldn't be able to speak, and then would proceed to blame him. If only he could remember what the name of those things were called! He could sketch it if Giles asked. Maybe he would. It would make sense. He'd already experienced this before. It'd be a shame to waste his knowledge. As soon as Xander finished miming his anger, Spike simply flashed him 'peace' with his fingers. Then, he motioned for a pen and paper. _Need to go to Giles. I know what's going on,_ he wrote elegantly. He didn't care if the boy thought he was lying. He knew that's where everyone else would be, and he was finding it increasingly difficult to keep away from Buffy.

_Fine, but it's daylight,_ Xander scribbled.

_You've got a car. Give me a blanket. I won't run from you._ Xander sighed and nodded, looking around his "room" for some pants and a blanket.

After stopping to pick up Anya, the trio walked into Giles' place with Spike in tow. Giles nodded to them, acknowledging their arrival. Spike looked around and noticed the scribbles Giles had made on a piece of paper. He picked it up, showed it to the man, and pointed vigorously. He had heard the story before. Tonight, Buffy and Army Boy find out about the other. He sat in the chair at Giles' desk and began to write. _The Gentlemen. They're from fairy tales. They come to a town, steal everyone's voices, and kill seven people, taking their hearts. It is for a ritual, but I don't know what happens. No weapon can kill them. Buffy must get her voice back and scream. That's the only way to kill them._

Giles, who had been reading over his shoulder the whole time, nodded and grabbed a nearby book, flipping open to the section he needed. Showing the book to Spike, he smiled politely and pointed, showing a terrifying picture of the creatures they were facing. Spike inhaled an unneeded breath. Giles started writing beneath what Spike had written. _Where does she need to go?_

_I don't know. I wasn't there._ Giles read the words as the he heard a knock at the door. Buffy and Willow walked in, whiteboards hanging from their necks. Buffy held up her hand in a small wave as Willow wrote a quick, _Hi Giles _on her board."

Anything?" Buffy mouthed.

Spike discreetly shook his head, and Giles did the same. Xander snapped his fingers, warranting the attention from everyone else. As Buffy and Willow took their seats next to Anya, Giles asked why.

_Not yet_, he wrote quickly. Giles looked at him disbelievingly before shrugging and turning his attention to the television. Spike quietly tore the paper from the notebook and tucked it inside the book, replacing it on the shelf.

He wanted to leave. It was hard enough pretending not to care about Buffy when he was still in Sunnydale, but it was even harder being in the same room. He wished, once again, that Angel hadn't gotten rid of that damned Gem. He peaked outside and found the best place to be in the shades. He felt around in his pockets and found cigarettes. Cigarettes! Oh, how he had missed these death sticks. He quietly opened the door and ran to the nearest shaded area.

...

Buffy didn't miss how Giles had looked to Spike before answering her. They knew something. She wondered how Spike had gotten so perceptive. Silently, she remembered some of their fights and realized how many times she had actually come close to her death. She never realized how equally matched they were until she had thought about it, and with no one saying anything to break her train of thought, she had the time and capacity to do so. She pretended not to see Spike sneak out the front door, just like she pretended not see the looks he kept flashing her from across the patio. She had to get out of here. _Too close. This is too close._ She scribbled across her board that she was going for a walk and to patrol. It was barely four, but she needed to stretch her legs.

They nodded in agreement and understanding. A bored Slayer was a dangerous Slayer. Willow asked if she wanted her to come along. Buffy shook her head, and smiled, showing her she would be okay. She stood and left the group, ignoring Spike and the look of curiosity he was sporting.

She walked around the town, once again, noticing how everyone was freaking out. So no one could talk. Big deal. At least they didn't see the things that go bump in the night like she did. Well, some of them did, but apparently, so many people in this town were either blind, stupid, or refused to see the truth. For crying out loud, Parker believe the whole "evil puppy" story. Idiot.

She could feel nightfall coming, and she prayed that the other demons would stay in tonight. No one could scream for help. _Scream... My dream!_ As the thoughts passed through her mind, she bolted back to Giles' apartment.

Quickly, she scribbled on her board. _My dream. Can't even shout, can't even cry, the Gentlemen are coming by! Giles, it's them. They stole our voices!_ The Scoobies were looking at her in wonder. She flashed Giles the board and gave him a minute to read it.

Willow held up her sign. _We've been looking, but we can't find anything._

Buffy erased her sign and began writing again. _Giles, what does Spike know? He knows something. I KNOW he does._ Giles groaned quietly, and looked over her shoulder to see Spike hovering behind her, having read the sign. He shrugged and grabbed the paper and book he and Giles had looked at earlier. He reached for her sign. Reluctantly, she handed it over, anger beginning to boil inside her. _I knew it! _she thought.

He wrote out everything he knew. _The Gentlemen. They come to a town, steal voice, kill people, and take hearts. No weapon can kill them. In the story, the princess screamed and it killed them._ He turned the board over and thrust the book at her.

She read the message and thumbed through the pages. Underneath his words, she asked _how do I get my voice back?_

He shrugged. She glared at him, which only upset him. Angrily, he wiped the board clean and wrote, _Really. I don't know. Sorry, love._ Erase. _Slayer._

_Where do I find them?_

He shrugged again. _Somewhere in town._

She sighed and grabbed the board again. _I'm going patrolling. Stay in. Don't open the door._

The troops nodded, and Xander gave her a thumbs up. He grabbed Willow's board and scrawled out, _good luck._ She smiled and grabbed a few discreet weapons from Giles' chest. She stalked out of the apartment and headed toward town. Following her lead, Spike did the same, grabbing a few more items and stayed behind her a safe distance. He didn't want to be in her way, but he wanted her to know he was there if she needed him.

Darkness had fallen by the time they left. She didn't waste any time. They headed directly into town, both looking around for where the creatures could be. They were on Main Street within minutes. Spike could feel the uneasiness in the air, and it put him on edge. He saw a few older men arguing, and he was sure a fight was about to break out. He was about to rush forward to break up the fight until he saw Capitan Cardboard beat him to it.

He was almost happy about the smile that broke across Riley's face as he saw Buffy. He was almost happy that Buffy seemed to return the smile. That's how it should be, after all. The two took another look at each other and turned to walk away. Buffy saw him turn, but what she didn't was his return and how quickly his arms were around her. Spike tried to ignore the blistering kiss. Although it was nothing compared to what he and Buffy had shared in his time, it was intense for those two. He had to turn away to keep from tearing them apart. He hated this part. He inhaled unnecessarily, and returned his focus to her. Thankfully, the kiss was over, and they were parting ways. _Only a few more months of this at the worse,_ he thought grimly. He looked up, stretching his neck, when he saw it. The clock tower. He smiled and jogged forward, pointing to the structure. She looked shocked at first, just to see him. Then she realized he was pointing up. She followed his hand and saw the clock tower. She nodded and smiled, thanking him quietly.

He was extremely tempted to kiss her, hug her, something, but he couldn't. Instead, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and waved her off. She took off running, and all he could do was watch and hope that things were going to work out.


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: Sorry for such a long wait. (I know a lot of people say that, but I am truly sincere.) School, work, no internet, absent mind...  
Anywho... here's what you get for waiting... MASSIVE UPLOADS! If there is anything wrong with them, let me know and I'll fix them asap! Thanks for reading!**

Buffy felt relief when she screamed. Not only was she killing these evil things, but it was also a good stress reliever. She didn't want Riley to kiss her earlier, but what was she supposed to do? _Oh, yeah. Pretend to like him, and not Spike._ She hadn't really been shocked that he was in the clock tower, too, but she was surprised that he had simultaneously found out about her calling. _Should be fun._ She hurried back to Giles' where everyone was talking happily, and Xander, of course, was calling the pizza place for a few victory pizzas. Thankfully, Spike wasn't around. She couldn't bear to see him right now. Not hearing his voice for so long was driving her crazy.

She tried to smile and chat with her friends, but on the inside, she was hurting terribly. Willow caught her eye and gave her a sympathetic smile, understanding and knowing what she was going through. It wasn't long before the pizzas were there, and Buffy and Willow soon left for their dorm.

"So, what happened?" Willow asked, not referring to the take down of the Gentlemen.

"Well, I got in to town, and there were a couple guys starting to fight. Riley broke them up. Then, he kissed me."

"He kissed you! Oh, wow, Buffy that's great!"

"It was okay... I mean he's a nice kisser, but I never realized how tall he was. I sorta felt like he was swallowing me. Like his body is so much bigger than mine, and I kinda felt suffocated."

"Oh... But it was nice, right?"

"It was okay. I've had better," she said, reminiscing on the kiss Spike had given her just a few days earlier.

"So, did you two talk about the Slayer, commando thing?"

"Nope. Kinda had to split right after."

"I'm sure it'll come up," Willow smiled, hoping anything would ease her friend's mood.

It came up the next morning to be exact, and it didn't go particularly well.

...

It didn't take much convincing from Spike to persuade Giles to let him have his own "place." He already knew which one he was going to pick, seeing as he had already done it before. _'S gonna get old,_ he thought. He and Buffy hadn't spoken since the Gentlemen fiasco. Sure, she had said "Thanks,'" but that had been it. Frankly, he didn't blame her. He was glad she stayed away. Sometimes. He deeply missed being in his own time. He missed their casual talks, among other things. He also missed Dawn. The Nibblet hadn't been created yet, and when he thought about it too in depth, it just gave him a headache. But she existed in his time, and that was enough for him. That silly, little 15-year-old had been his reason for living while Buffy had... been away.

He sighed as he paced his "new" crypt. He was curious to when Giles would become a Fyral. _Wonder if I should warn him? Nah. Might change something. 'Sides, he didn't hurt anyone... Dammit... Why didn't I keep up with this stuff?_ he thought, mentally kicking himself. Then, he had an idea. Smiling to himself, he searched one of his boxes for a pen and paper he stole from Xander, and he began to write.

...

It had been a month and a half since she had spoken to him. Sure, she had seen him around, and she had felt from while patrolling, but she never said anything. She didn't exactly _know_ what to say. _Hey, I'm sorry Riley kissed me. Sorry I'm pretending to be with him when I really wanna be with you. _"Yeah. That's smart," she said sarcastically to herself. She was walking through one of the cemeteries, twirling Mr. Pointy, when six fledglings surrounded her. "Really, guys?" she asked, slowly shifting into her fighting stance. "Tonight? Not really in the mood."

"Oh, poor Slayer," one mocked.

"And you, my friend, will be the last one to go," she gleamed. As if on cue, four of them charged for her, each one going for their own specified target. The leader grabbed her torso, trying to tackle her, while the other three grabbed her arms and a leg. Although they were struggling to hold their own, Buffy just smiled. "Ya know, you really should have tried for my other leg," she said. And with that, she swung her free leg up, kicking the leader in the head, causing him and the one hanging on her right arm to reel backwards. In two swift movements, the other two hanging on her were dust.

"Why don't you just give up Slayer? It's four against one," one of them said, attempting to taunt her.

"Clearly you don't know me very well," she smiled as she kicked him in the stomach, sending him flying into a nearby tree, efficiently staking him. The last three charged once again, as if they hadn't learned a thing from watching the other two. "You guys really aren't that smart," she said, her breathing beginning to become labored. She grabbed two of them that got to her first and smashed their heads together, dazing them quickly. Before they could react, she staked them both within a split second. "Told you," she said to the last one, the one who had spoken first just minutes before. He smiled, sort of, and turned quickly, trying to get away. She sighed and picked up a nearby stick. She violently, but fluidly, hurled it at his back and was satisfied as she watched him dissipate.

She picked up her trusty stake, slipped it into the waist of her pants, and continued on her way. Ten yards away a small group—of the human variety—were hiding behind a rather large shrub. "She's impressive," a short blond woman commented.

"I told you. No one else like her. She's special," Riley Finn said proudly.

"Hmm, yes. Bring her by in the next couple days," Maggie Walsh said, turning from him and toward her military grade truck.

"Yes ma'am," he said, almost giddy.

...

"Are you sure about this?" Riley asked, looking hopeful into Buffy's bright green eyes.  
"Yes," she nodded, trying her hardest to look happy and encouraging.  
"Because we don't have to if you don't want to..." he pushed, trying to make sure she was sure.  
"Riley, let's do this," she smiled, hiding her quick irritability.  
"Okay, here we go," he said, turning from her and facing the giant mirror on the wall. A voice spoke as a green light scanned them.  
"Special Agent Finn, Riley. New identification for Summers, Buffy," the automated voice sounded.  
"Neat," Buffy said quietly.  
"Oh, just wait 'til you see everything. Everything down here, it's amazing. Really," he said confidently as the elevator began descending.  
"I believe you," she said, smiling and nodding appropriately.  
"Vocal confirmation affirmed. Welcome, Riley Finn and Buffy Summers." The doors slid open to show the massive underground laboratory that was The Initiative.  
"Wow," she said automatically, then realizing he'd want to hear something other than that. "It's big. I mean, you said it was big, but you never said it was huge!" She winced internally, realizing how bad that sounded. She could just blame it on her teenage brain.  
"Yeah," he grinned. "And here's someone you might recognize. Buffy,-"

"Professor Walsh?" she questioned as she shook the woman's hand.  
"Hello, Buffy," Professor Walsh said, returning the handshake. "My, quiet a grip you have there." The small woman subtly shook and squeezed her now hurt hand.  
"Sorry. Comes with the Slayer-strength," Buffy shrugged.  
"Yes, the infamous Slayer. I'd heard about them, but I believed it to be a myth," Walsh said, holding her clipboard up as they began walking around the laboratory.  
"Well, you were myth-taken," Buffy chuckled at her lame joke.  
"Yes, well..." Walsh coughed, ignoring the awkward silence followed by the joke as she tried ignoring the looks her best soldier was sending this small girl. _Peculiar, he said. Well, now we know it wasn't all her being strange. She's the "Slayer." She's "special." I hate the words already_, she thought angrily. Her expression was flat as they walked as she occasionally mentioned an area of the lab.  
"What's in there?" Buffy asked, pointing to the off-limits door that was strictly for her and the other high ranked doctors.  
"That is classified. Out-of-bounds to those who are not permitted," she said in a stern voice.

"Oh," Buffy said in a small voice. _Definitely worth checking out. If they're hiding anything, it'll be in there._ "So have you ever had anyo—anything break out of here?" she asked, hoping to sound curious and not prying.  
"Ye-" Riley began.

"No," Walsh interrupted. "There have been several attempts, but none that have completely escaped."  
"Ma'am, what about Hostile 17?" Riley asked, looking utterly confused.  
"Oh, yes. That pesky blond bloodsucker."  
_God, she sounds like Xander..._ Buffy thought.  
"Yes, he managed to escape, but I thought your team had brought him down?" she questioned, obviously switching from 'Hi, I'm your friend' to 'listen up, I'm saying something important, and you better be listening and responding accordingly.'  
"No, ma'am. Several have spotted him, but they were unable to bring him down."  
"What was the reason?"  
"They were civies, ma'am. None had the equipment available," he said. Buffy saw Riley, Iowa boy, teacher's assistant run for cover as Agent Finn emerged.  
_I guess a lot of people have double lives,_ Buffy thought as she saw it happen throughout the area. Men that were at ease next to each other came to attention as Walsh passed them. "So you haven't seen... Hostile 17? lately?" Buffy asked, hoping her fear would be quenched.  
"Not in days," Riley grimaced, even though that was the answer Buffy was happy to hear.  
"Oh... I'll keep my eye out, then," she nodded with a smile, hoping they would believe her.  
"It's funny," Walsh said as they stopped in front of a set-up of screens. "Whenever he was caught, he blamed it on 'the Slayer.'"  
"On me? Well, I do come in contact with quite a few vampires. It's kinda my calling. 'The one girl who is called to fight the forces of evil.' I'm Buffy, the Vampire Slayer. So, yeah. kinda what I do." _Oh, I really hope they bought that..._ she thought nervously.  
"He seemed like he knew you. Kept saying things one would assumed that."

"You know what happens when you assume," Buffy huffed, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, well, is there anything you needed, Doctor Walsh? It's getting late, and we need to do our rounds," Riley cut in.  
"That's fine. I'll see you tomorrow at 0800. Good-bye Buffy. Don't forget about class tomorrow."

"Ten o'clock sharp," Buffy said. Riley practically pushed her into the elevator that led to the fraternity house. "Well, that wasn't so bad."  
"Uh, yeah," Riley laughed, almost sarcastically.  
"You don't sound so convinced?" she asked, suddenly concerned with the last encounter.  
"It's—uh—it's been a while since I've seen Professor Walsh that upset," he said as they walked through the doors.  
"Oh, God. I annoyed her, didn't I? She hates me now, doesn't she? God, I knew this would happen..." Buffy rambled. _I screwed everything up. This is bad. Bad Buffy... Almost blew cover._ They both stopped in the hall, both eager to move on but in different ways.  
"No, no, Buffy. She doesn't hate you. She's just... probably not as trusting as I am," he said, trying subconsciously to move her towards his room.  
"Oh... Well, I best get going. Lots of baddies out there, meaning lots of work for me," Buffy said, swinging around him to get to the stairs.  
"I can come with—"

"No, it's fine. I'm just going to do a quick sweep. Like you said it's late, and we have class early." She knew she should be expert with excuses, but this one sounded lame even to her.  
"Okay," he said, completely crestfallen.  
"I'll see you tomorrow though," she said, still hoping like her fake interest was enough to keep her in with the commandos. _Looks like he'll still fall for my bull_, she thought, happy to be out of the musky house. Something about it always gave her the hibby-jibbies.


	11. Chapter 10

"What a horrible night," Giles grumbled to himself as she sat up in his bed. He stood from his bed, the floor creaking beneath his feet. He walked down his stairs he came face to face with a brownish looking demon staring back at him. He let out a scream, and the demon did as well. "Oh dear Lord," he said, watching as the demon's mouth moved as he spoke. "Ethan," he growled aloud, his voice dripping with venom. He grabbed a blanket from his couch and wrapped it around his head and torso. He reached for the door knob and in turn, ripped the door from the wall. He groaned and proceeded to walk to the one person he knew could help: Spike.

He pushed the mausoleum's door open and called out for the vampire. No answer. "Spike?" he called again, looking around the small room. "Perhaps I'm an in the wrong crypt," he mumbled to himself. He looked around until he noticed the television toward the back. He turned to see Spike, asleep in a run-down recliner. He rolled his eyes and gently shook the vampire. "Spike, please stay calm. It's me, Giles."

...

Spike heard a familiar growling as something shook him rather violently. He pulled open his eyelids to see a Fyral demon in his face. Instinctively, he punched the creature, immediately changing into fight mode. "What'd'ya want?" he asked, bouncing around the creature, who was holding his nose.

"Spike! It's me!" the demon said through its massive hands.

"Giles?" Spike said, straightening his stance.

"Bloody hell, yes! Am I, by any chance, speaking English?" Giles asked, checking the tip of his nose for blood. Thankfully, there was none, but there was some mucous.

"No," Spike laughed. "You're speaking Fyral. I just so happen to speak Fyral. Had a couple of them working for me once. They were all 'Me like to crush. Crush now?'" Giles laughed a tad bit at his imitation. "I guess a spell of some sort did this to you?"

"Ethan Rayne," Giles growled angrily.

"What'd he do?"

"Slipped something into my drink, the little git. Last night we went to this pub... I can't remember though," he groaned.

"Hangover, mate," Spike said, walking over to his mini-fridge. He grabbed a bottle of pills and threw them over. "I take four, but given your size, six'll do." Giles tore the lid off, guzzling more than six capsules. "So, where did you two go? D'ya remember the name of the pub?"

"Yes. It was... Oh damn..." he groaned. "It's on 5th Street..."

"Oh, you mean... Damn. Should I call Buffy?"

"That would probably be wise. My flat is a rather big mess. I do believe I tore the door off of the hinges."

"I'll have to take a trip into the sewers. I've got no phone myself, but there's a shop not too far from here."

"Do what you must. I'll... well, I'll be here," he sighed.

Spike gave a small chuckle and dropped into the secret room beneath the crypt. It wasn't long before he was able to get ahold of Buffy and was told of the situation. "Thanks," she said awkwardly on the other line.

_Anything for you_, he was tempted to say. Instead, he simply said, "yeah" and hung up. He felt so stupid sometimes. He never knew if it was okay to say something and it not mean anything more to her. Simple things, too. So he just kept quiet. Walking back to Giles didn't take long, but it was enough time for Giles to see the uneasiness in his return.

"So, ahem, how are things going between Buffy and yourself?" Giles asked politely.  
Spike looked at the man, momentarily wondering if he was in fact blind without his glasses. "Good as ever I suppose," Spike said vaguely.  
"Spike, you don't have to lie to me. I see more than any of you realize. I can see the way you steal glances at the other when neither of you think the other is looking. I can see how jealous you get the moment she says a single word about Riley. And, most importantly, I can see how she's faking her happiness with him. Because that is what we expect of her, correct? We want her to be happy; as long as it's not with another vampire. At least that's what I feel she thinks. Frankly, after Angel, I'd be happy that she's happy."  
Spike could not help but stare at the Watcher disbelievingly. That didn't sound like the Giles he knew. "So what you're saying is, if she decided to be with anther vampire or demon or whatever else came along, you would be okay with it?"  
"Buffy's been through so much. I could care less about the person she is with, as long as he loves her and makes her happy. Now, I have no ill feelings toward this new fellow, but I must say, she's not acting particularly right. Something seems off, and I think it's because of you."  
"Me? What did I do?" he asked defensively.  
"Well not exactly you. More directly Willow's spell. Willow has told me countless times what she had literally said about every situation, and never once did she mention love. She said, and I quote, "why don't you just marry him?" Love was never uttered from her lips, so why then, did Buffy react the way she did? She told you herself she loved you that night, am I right?"  
Spike thought about that as hard as he could. Yes, they had whispered sweet nothings to each other. They had discussed invitations, and cake toppers, and even a few details of the wedding night. But she had never said she loved him, even though he had. "She never did. I told her a few times, but she never said she did."  
"Are you sure?"  
"Giles, I have an extremely good memory." especially of that night. "Yes, I'm sure."  
"Oh," was all he could say. The two sat there in an uncomfortable silence. Spike had finally gotten seated in his chair, while Giles had sat atop a nearby sarcophagus. "I dunno then," he said after a few minutes.  
"I don't think she understands. What she felt for Angel is minuscule to what she's feeling now."  
"How can you be certain?"  
"Red's told me a few things," Spike said. "I told them I didn't want to know. I told them to just keep it to themselves, but they won't listen. Don't you realize I know Buffy is in pain? Do you think I'm not? She's the woman I'm in love with, and now that she may love me too, I can't have her! We're years apart, and I don't mean age. This Buffy hasn't had to go through as much as... The other one. She's still young and carefree. She needs more than I can give her. Both of them do. I can't tell her that I love her, here, because it could muck up the future. I'm not supposed to be here. I need to get back to the other Buffy..."

Giles nodded in agreement. "Spike, I could only imagine how you're feeling. You've been ripped from your home, which is actually still here—"

"It's not the place that makes it home," Spike interjected.

"True," the demon-man said. "So, we've made it easier on you? I mean, we don't dislike you or anything?"

"Oh you all hate me just fine. Except for Buffy and her—" _sister_ "mother. They treat me a'right. You just make it living here difficult. For some reason, you think I'm going to turn on you. Not that I ever would."

"But you have that chip. Even if you tried, you wouldn't be able to," Giles said.

"Heh, yeah," Spike mocked. Giles, instead of saying anything, shut up for the first time in a while.

After many grueling hours of silence and _Passions_, Spike decided it was time. "Right then. Let's go," he said, dropping into the hole.

"Go?" Giles asked, warily looking down at the hole at his feet.

"Yeah. Gotta get Rayne to turn you back, yeah? Unless you—"

"You're right," he said, struggling to fit through the passage. "Where, pray tell, are we headed?"

"Your flat. We can use your car to get around easier. 'm sure the commandos would notice a big Fyral demon running around Sunnydale. Look how easy they caught me, and I'm human!"

"Oh, yes," Giles grumbled, stumbling behind the younger looking Englishman. "How do you know the sewers so well?"

"From the future, Watcher. Plus, vampire. 's the only way I can get around during the sunny hours."

"Wouldn't you usually be asleep?"

"'less I had more important things to do."

"Like what?"

"Giles. Enough. Please," Spike said, wishing he actually had the willpower to hit him for once.

"I'm sorry, I'm just terribly curious. The only vampire I've been on talking terms with was Angel, and he was exactly comfortable company."

"Oh, and I am?" Spike hissed incredulously.

"Ah, well, in comparison, much more than he. You say what's on your mind, and don't really care what anyone else thinks. He always spent his time brooding and stalking Buffy. But as strange as it seems, I'm—intrigued."

"In that case, ask away," Spike said, reluctantly giving up the silence. "But," he started, turning on his feet to the demon behind him, "none of whatever is said reaches the Scoobies. And no asking about the future!"

"Fair enough," Giles said, holding his hands up in surrender, which allowed Spike to return to taking the lead. "How did you get that scar? The one on your eyebrow?"

"I know which you meant. It's the only one I have. Got it from a Chinese Slayer during the Boxer Rebellion. Sure you could read about it if you wanted to know more."

"Do you have anymore—erm—souvenirs?"

"Wearing it," he said, kicking up the rear of his duster. "Got it in New York about twenty years ago. That Slayer, much more like Buffy. More instinct than precision. But both of them were always concerned on where their weapon was. Never realized how much of one they were themselves."

Giles waited a minute to speak. Spike wondered if he was just trying to digest it all. "But, you've got nothing from Buffy?"

_Except a broken heart._ "Nothing. Faced her, fought her. She didn't lose."

"Well, um, that's good," he muttered. Spike wondered again if he was thinking about cleaning his glasses.

"Look, if you're wondering if I'm gonna kill her, I'm not. Never even think about it anymore. I don't want to hurt her, or any of you for that matter. I... I've been without her once, and I sure as hell don't want to do it again."

"Been without—dear Lord, you're not saying she-she dies? Again?" Giles gasps.

"Not saying anything." Giles said nothing. Spike assumed he was trying excruciatingly hard not to ask the obvious questions of 'How, when and why?' " I want something," Spike said, intentionally trying to distract him.

"Hmm? Want what?" Giles asked.

"When all this is done, I want your Watcher Diaries. Not the old ones. Just yours."

"Good heavens, what for?"

"I have my own reasons. You'll get it back. Don't worry."

"May I ask what you need with it?"

"No. Come on. We're here," he said, sneaking up the ladder and out of the manhole.

...

It was after nightfall, and she still hadn't seen Giles or Spike. Spike hadn't told her much, just that Giles had magically been turned into a demon, and that he was going to help. After calling the others, they all convened at Giles' apartment in hopes that sooner or later, their older British friend would make an appearance.

"Will, you said that spells have been going all crazy?"

"Yeah, I tried just floating a rose, and then, zing-zang-zoom all across the room. It was pretty neat," she smiled, imitating the flower's movement with her hands.

"Could that be from someone messing with the magics?"

"Yeah Yes that would draw in a lot of dark energy."

"Okay, you guys stay here if anyone calls. I'm going to the Magic Shop to see if anyone's been buying some supplies."

The trio nodded in response. "Buff, just be careful," Xander cautioned.

"Always," she said with a small smile bouncing out the door. She nearly ran into Riley who was approaching the door. "Oh, Riley. Hi."

"Hey. So, what are you doing here?"

"Um, this is Giles' apartment. He's kinda in some trouble. What are you doing here?"

"911 calls about some strange sounds. Growling and some things breaking. Sounded like a struggle."

"You get 911 calls?"

"We have a tap in the system. Anything that sounds unnatural, we come check it out."

"Oh," she said, running to her path.

"So, where are you headed?"

"The Magic Shop," she said, quickly walking toward the shop.

"Buffy, I've really been wanting to talk to you," he said, trying to make his words sound important.

"Riley, I really can't right now. I've got—stuff—to take care of."

"Slayer stuff?"

"Yeah. Like I said, Giles is in trouble, I have to help."

"Buffy, I will do anything I can to help. The whole Initiative will."

"Thanks."

"Um, is Giles okay?"

"Yeah. Uh... No. Not really. An old friend—"

She was cut off by the annoying sound of his cell phone ringing. "Agent Finn. Yes. I understand." And he closed the device. "That was Professor Walsh. She was attacked by a demon who was in a gray car. A Crioten."

Buffy almost burst out laughing. _Giles? Terrorizing Professor Walsh? I wish I could have seen that._ "Oh, well, is she okay?"

"Yes. Anyway, you were saying?"

"Oh, right. Giles got paid a visit from an old friend who happen to give him a not so great gift."

"Ah. That's not code for anything, right? I mean, he doesn't have some STD or anything?"

"Ha!" she laughed aloud. "No, not to my knowledge. But no, it's not code."

"Okay. Good," he said, looking suddenly to his feet in embarrassment.

"Look, Riley, I really need to go," she said stopping in front of the shop.

"I'll help you," he blurted. "I mean, if you want me to."

"Fine, but don't get in my way," she said, kicking the door in. "Okay, credit card slips, sale receipts. Help me look."

"You shouldn't have done that to the door," he said, following behind her.

"I do not have time to play by the rules tonight," she said, flustered, automatically digging through the shop.

"I have a master key. It opens every shop on Main Street," he said, tempting to brandish the key as if to prove his words.

"Oh. Well, next time. Absolutely," she said, not feigning a bit of surprise.

"I don't know what I'm looking for," he said, just a few seconds after stepping through the door.

"I do. Ethan Rayne," she said, holding up a credit card slip. _Of course. It just had to be him. God, I hate him._

"Who's that?"

"Professional bad guy. He's the one that's... messed with Giles. At least we know who we're looking for."

"Command, are you there?" Riley said, pulling out his phone once again.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"It's Agent Finn. I need a search. Local hotel registrations matching the name Ethan Rayne. R-A-Y-N-E. Call me back," he said, stuffing the phone in his pocket.

"You can do that?" Buffy asked curiously.

"It'll take a couple minutes," he said, confidence radiating from him.

"Oh. Get in the car. It's time to go," she said abruptly.

"Buffy. Earlier, when I talked to Professor Walsh, she gave me very specific orders," he warned.

"Yeah?"

"She said when we located the demon, I—I'm not supposed to bring you along." He looked down briefly.

"Oh," she said, turning from him, dismissing his warning completely.

"Uh, what are you doing?" he asked quickly.

"Going to the car," she replied in a tone that just said "duh."

"Buffy, I can't take you with me," he scoffed.

"You're not taking me with you. I am going, and I'm letting you come along," Buffy said, closing the door slightly. Even though he was several inches taller than her, her demeanor towered over him.

"Buffy, it's not really your call. This is a military operation now," he said, trying not to cower away from her.

"Then call out the troops, because nothing less than that is going to stop me from helping Giles."

Riley huffed in response and followed her lead. It's not exactly like he could say no to her.


	12. Chapter 11

Spike laughed to himself, watching Giles chase that horrid woman down the street. He watched as the man-demon staggered back to the car, squeezing his knees to him as he shut the car door. "Now, where to?" the vampire asked.

"The pub. Need you to talk to the waitress."

"On it," he said, speeding forward, effortlessly shifting gears.

"When did you learn to drive a standard?" Giles asked curiously.

"Been around for a while," he lied. It wasn't long before they were at the small bar, and Giles had identified the woman. Spike lounged back on the stool and took a long drag from his cigarette. The waitress was standing in front of him, eyeing him wondrously. It would be entirely too easy to get the information from her. It's not like he had memorized every detail since he had come back to SunnyHell. "Two of them. English, like me. But older, less attractive." He could feel Giles rolling his eyes in the darkened corner. "One of them gave you his number."

"I threw it out. I took one look and saw that he was staying in that rat trap? No thanks."  
"Which rat trap?"  
"The one by the highway. The Sunnydale Motor Inn."  
"Thank you," he said, smiling just right to make her breathing hitch and her heart speed up. Just because he couldn't have a taste of anyone, didn't mean he didn't mind bothering them a bit. Spike turned and left the woman, who watched him all the way out the door. The two demons crammed themselves back into the tiny car. "How are you feeling, mate?" he asked, wondering how much longer Giles may have.  
"Like snapping necks until everyone's dead."  
"Uh-oh. You're starting to sound like a Fyral." Spike noticed the high lights in his rearview mirror. Someone, in a rather large vehicle, was following them. "We've picked up a tail."  
"It only hurts when I sit on it," Giles fidgeted.  
"I mean, someone's following us. Must be those army twits. 's a Humvee. Military."  
"Well, speed up. Lose them."  
"Look, whenever I turn here, you jump out, run for the hills, figuratively speaking," Spike said, eyeing the vehicle behind anxiously.  
"What?"  
"Just do it! I'll get them to follow me. Go turn back human!" he said, jerking the steering wheel sharply. Giles obeyed and rolled out of the tiny car, running as fast as he could to the inn. He staggered off towards Ethan's room, eager to do as Spike said, and turn back human. It wasn't long before Buffy had burst in and wrangled Ethan into doing as they wanted. He couldn't suppress the smile from his face as the military guys manhandled him into their Humvee.

...

Buffy smiled as Giles buttoned the hideous shirt that was in Ethan's collection. "It's good to have you back," she said, resisting the urge to give him a tight, Slayer squeezing hug.

"I'm rather glad you came, Buffy. I—I was starting to lose it. It was hard not ripping his arm off," he smiled tersely as they began their walk back toward Giles' apartment.

"I would have never known about what was happening if it wasn't for Spike," she said quietly, thankful that Riley had left with the other commandos. "He called and let us know what was going on," she followed with, as if he needed an explanation.

"Oh, yes. I know. I—um—found myself receiving his help as well." After a moment of silence, he asked, "So, how are things between the two of you?"

"Pretty horrible," she said, not hiding the hurt in her voice.

"Willow's spell still hasn't worn off?" he asked worriedly.

She didn't say anything. Instead, she just shrugged. "I wish I could explain it, Giles. I—it's different from when Angel left. This doesn't even seem to compare. When he left, I just hurt. But now, it's so much worse. I feel like part of me is missing. I don't feel complete. I don't know what to do..."

"What about that Riley chap? He... seemed nice," he said, trying to hurt.

Buffy sighed. _He's just not getting it. _"I know he likes me. And I mean _really_ likes me. But I don't know what to say to him. Giles, I'm really not interested in him."

"Perhaps you and Spike should talk then. Let him know how much he means to you," Giles said simply.

"But Giles—" she started. It took a moment for her to realize the words he said. _He wants us to work it out! _"I'm not sure Spike actually wants to talk to me. I tried talking to him once before, but he just left. Besides, I'm not even sure how or what to say to him."

"The truth usually works nicely. Buffy, you never know. People can surprise you."

_They sure can,_ she thought about her father-figure. "What about him being a soulless, evil demon?"

"Well, you see, I've thought about that quite a bit today. I practically spent the entire day with him, and I've realized something. Spike doesn't have a soul."

"Giles, we knew that," she said, cutting him off.

"Yes, but what I didn't realize was that Angel does."

"We knew that, too," she said, completely confused.

"No, I mean. Only _with_ a soul did Angel express love for you. Spike—completely soulless to my knowledge—says..." he stopped himself, suddenly realizing his vital mistake.

"Spike loves me?" Buffy was shocked, to say the least. She dismissed Giles hastily, telling her she really needed to see her mom. He only nodded, saying things like "of course" and "see you soon." She wasn't really paying attention to her Watcher at the moment. She had more important things to worry about. Like this desperate talk with her mom that was long overdue. She was almost home by the time she ran into a much-unexpected Willow.

"Oh, Buffy! I was looking for you! Riley called and said everything was fixed, but you never came back to Giles' apartment, I—um—decided to come looking for you," she said rapidly.

"Hey, Will. Everything's okay, now. Sorry I didn't call. I got a little side-tracked," she said honestly.

"Is—uh—are you okay?"

"Depends on your definition," she laughed half-heartedly as they walked up the path to her house.

"Meaning?" the girl pushed.

"Meaning, I'll tell you soon," she promised with a small smile. She looked up to the house, thankful that a few lights were on in her mother's home. "First, I need to have a much needed talk with mom." She opened the door with a light knock. "Mom?" she called, looking in both the dining room and the living room for the matron of the house.

"Hey, honey!" Joyce said, coming around the corner from the kitchen. Immediately she gave her daughter a hug and light kiss on the cheek. Buffy silently relished in the loving embrace of her mother. It had been too long since she'd been here. "Hello, Willow. Come on in girls. No need to let the air out," she laughed, shutting the door behind them.

"Thanks, Mrs. Summers," Willow said.

"So, what brings you two on this side of the town?" Joyce asked as she walked back into the kitchen. "Would either of you like something to drink?"

"Have any cocoa?" Buffy asked mindlessly.

"Of course. I always have some—" Joyce winced slightly, her face turned away from the girls, so she was thankful they didn't notice how she saved herself. She knew her daughter wouldn't like it if she kept a specific item in their kitchen just for a certain vampire of whom she thought very highly.

"Cocoa sounds good," Willow agreed, bringing Joyce from her mental tirade.

Buffy and Willow both sat at the counter, awaiting the woman to join them. "So, are you two doing well?" she asked. Neither girl said a word. Instead, they looked at each other and then their own hands. "What is it?" she asked, immediately cautious of the reason for their sudden arrival.

"We-kinda-have-some-issues," Willow mumbled.

"Like what?"

"Well, um..." Buffy started.

"You know that Oz left. You remember Oz, right?" Willow asked.

"Yes, dear. I remember him. Sweet boy. A bit quiet though."

"Well, it's... umm... been. Difficult. You know, dealing with it. It's-uh- been almost two months, but... Mrs. Summers, it's not getting any easier. I... I still hurt," Willow managed to say, the words almost bringing her to tears.

"Oh, honey," Joyce said, setting a cup of cocoa in front of the two of them. "But, why are you talking to me about it? Don't get me wrong, sweetie, but I mean, you've talked to Buffy-and-and Xander about this, right?"

Buffy nodded, but Willow shook her head. "I can't really talk to Xander about it. He doesn't really understand. I have talked to Buffy though," she said, looking to her friend. "And she gets it, but... I don't know what else to do. I can't talk to my mom about it, 'cause she never really got to know him, and she doesn't think that someone my age could fall in love. And you've been like a mom, to me and Xander, and well, I knew that I could talk to you."

Joyce smiled the best she could. "Believe it or not, I do remember being eighteen. I remember falling in love. I wasn't much older than you whenever I married Hank," she said. She noticed Buffy's blank expression liven as she mentioned her father's name.

"Really?" Buffy asked, taken aback.

"Yes, dear," she chuckled. "And you both know a bit about why Buffy and I had to move here, but I think there's something I need to tell you both." Joyce sighed as she took in the girls expressions. They were both wide-eyed, intrigued in what she was saying. Buffy sipped her cocoa lightly, keeping her hands lightly around her mug. "Before we moved, Hank and I went through a pretty bad divorce." Buffy nodded subconsciously. Of course, she knew this part. "Buffy, do you know why?"

Buffy looked at her mother. "Because he cheated on you," she said blatantly.

"Among other things," she said, wishing she had something to grasp as well. "Hank, he... he liked to drink. And when he did, he didn't exactly act like himself. It was easier for him to get angry, and it seemed there were always supposed to be someone he could blame it on."

"Mom... Are you saying... did he hit you?" Buffy asked, anger quickly rising in her.

"No, sweetie. Really. I could tell he wanted to. And sometimes he tried. But somehow, you always knew when show up. As soon as he saw you, he melted. He would blubber out an apology and go to bed. Even as a kid, you knew when to protect me," Joyce smiled. Even then, her daughter was unstoppable. "But then, he started staying out later. He said he was working late, but the funny thing is I knew he was lying. It was surprising when I realized how much I didn't care anymore. One day, I confronted him about it, and he confessed everything. He had been sleeping with his secretary for months before I had said anything. So, that was when I knew that we had to be separated."

They were all silent for a minute before Buffy spoke up. "Mom, why are you telling us this?"

"I'm getting there, Buffy. When we finally left, it hurt. I didn't think it could, but it did. Bad. It hurt whenever I confronted him. It hurt when he told me the truth. And it hurt whenever we had to leave. I loved him for years, and then he just betrayed me. He left me long before we left him. But the reason I'm telling you is because I love you both, and I think I need to tell you this. I know what it's like to have someone who could change in an instant. I also know what it's like to have someone leave you. But... It gets better. I'm not saying it will tomorrow, or next week, or even next year. But, it does get better. Right now, you probably think about him all the time. Sometimes it may be a few minutes between thoughts, or hours. Eventually, it'll get to be days. Sometimes, not at all."

"But, Mrs. Summers, I _want_ to think about him. I know it hurts, but I just miss him so much. He... he cheated on me, too. I wanted to work through it. I was willing to forgive him, because he did the same for me. I just want him to come home."

"Willow, why did he leave?"

"He said he wanted to learn how to control himself. He knew there were things that keeping him from being completely with me. He wanted to protect me from him, until he could fix it."

"What is it with these guys and thinking you two need protection?" Joyce said angrily. "Last I saw, you two are very independent, courageous, amazing young women who are perfectly capable of protecting yourselves."

"Thanks," the girls said simultaneously.

"However, I digress. Willow, maybe he just needs some time to get himself together. I feel like he will be back though."

"Really?" she asked hopeful.

"Yes, really. Oz is a smart boy. He certainly knows a good thing when he has it."

"Thanks, Mrs. Summers," the redhead said, relief visibly flooding through her.

"Now, what is your situation?" the woman asked her daughter.


	13. Chapter 12

"What?" Buffy asked, looking up from her steaming brown liquid.

"What is wrong?" she asked again.

Buffy almost blushed under her mother's scrutiny. "What-what do you mean?" She hadn't told her of Willow's accidental spell from a few weeks prior.

"Buffy, I know something is wrong. I wish you would just tell me."

She sighed, trying to figure out the best way to tell her mom about her falling in love with her latest mortal enemy. "Well, it all started right after Oz left. Willow did this spell..."

"A spell? Like magic?" she asked, giving the two girls uncertain glances.

Even after a few years, Buffy could tell her mom still have trouble adjusting to her world. _Magic, demons, werewolves..._ Buffy sighed in her mind. "Yeah. She wanted to—"

"I just wanted to stop hurting," Willow spoke up, looking sheepishly into her hot chocolate.

"Oh, sweetie... I wish it were that simple."

"Yeah..." Willow nodded.

"Anyway, it didn't exactly work out that well. Accidentally, she made Giles go blind, and Xander became a demon magnet."

"But, I just saw them the other day. They seemed fine," she said, curiosity coursing through her words.

"Yeah, they are now. They fixed it, except for..." Buffy trailed off.

"What happened to you?" Joyce asked.

"Yeah," Buffy nodded, not catching the question in her mother's tone.

"No, Buffy, I mean, what happened to you?"

"Um, well," she hesitated, looking to her friend for help.

"I-sorta- said that she and –Spike—should get married," Willow stuttered.

"Oh, Buffy, you didn't?" Joyce asked, quickly looking to her daughter for reassurance.

"No! No, we didn't... But, um..."

"But, what?"

"The spell didn't wear off for me like it did for Giles and Xander. But... Spike broke it off," she said, trying not to get choked up. It was all still new to her.

"Is this the same Spike that kidnapped you and Xander last year? The one who was depressed over—oh what was her name?"

"Drusilla. And yeah, one and the same," Willow said.

"I liked him," Joyce said, surprising both girls.

"What?" they asked.

"I liked him. He was nice. Very polite. Not at all like Angel. Spike was, ironically, so full of life and emotion. He wears his heart on his sleeve, but pretends like he doesn't."

"Um, yeah... Anyway, a few days after Willow undid the spell, Spike broke up with me, saying that I didn't even like him, much less love him or want to be with him."

"But you do?"

"I—I think so. I don't think it's residual effects from the spell. Willow ended the spell, so therefore, I shouldn't feel like this. But, Mom, honestly, I've kinda felt something for him for a while," she said. A small smile crossed Joyce's face at the sincerity of Buffy's heartfelt confession.

"Since when then?" she asked.

"Since you met him, officially. Since we teamed up to stop Angel. We just—something clicked with us."

"Well, how does he feel about you?" Willow asked, surprising both of the Summers women.

"That's the thing. He hasn't really told me... But Giles let something slip earlier."

"What'd he say?" Joyce asked, eager to hear anything her daughter had to say.

"He spent most of the day with Spike. And he kind of let it out that Spike loves me." Her voice was only a whisper now, but neither of the others had difficulty hearing her.

The small kitchen was quiet for a minute until Willow spoke once again. "Buffy, if I tell you something, will you promise not to be upset with me?"

"Sure, Wills," Buffy nodded.

"I kind of knew that. Xander and Anya, too. That night when Spike broke it off with you, he kind of yelled it at us."

"You—knew. You knew, and you didn't tell me?" she asked, no anger or resentment in her tone.

"Uh, yeah. I mean, we were all pretty shocked that he even said it, and even more so when he broke it off. There's also something else he told us..." Willow said, her voice gradually declining in volume.

"What? What is it?" Buffy asked, almost pestering her.

"He said he was from the future. That the spell was supposed to have ended, like it did in his future. He said he couldn't be with you, because it would change the future, and he couldn't risk it." Buffy was quiet a lot longer than Willow was comfortable with. "Buffy?"

"Wow. I can't say I was expecting that. But, it kinda pisses me off."

"Language!"

"Sorry, Mom. But it does! What gives him the right to try to say what's right and what's a risk? I'm glad the spell messed up for me! I never would have realized how different he is from Angel and that I actually have these feelings for him. I must admit, I was worried when I started not wanting to kill him, before the spell. I don't care that he's killed slayers, or people. He's changed, I just know he has."

"He has," Joyce commented. "Buffy, I guess there's something else I must tell you."

"What is it?"

"The cocoa... I save it for Spike. He likes it with little marshmallows."

"How—how do you know that?"

"He's come by a few times. Ever since that last debacle about that wretched girl, he comes by and we talk. It used to be about Drusilla. But lately, it's been about you, honey."

"What do you mean? How long?"

"For about three months. He says he's trying to get to know you, you know, so he could 'kill you' later, but I never believed that. Sweetie, I don't think he could ever hurt you."

"But, that was before he got the chip!" Willow exclaimed.

"The what?"

"The chips. The commando guys put this thing in his head so that whenever he tries to hurt a human, it sends off the wave of electricity to his brain. It stops him in his tracks," Willow said in an as-a-matter-of-a-fact way.

"That's horrible!" Joyce gasped.

"Actually, I'm kinda happy for it," Willow interjected. "He tried to bite me. That's how we found out about it. So, now he's just neutered."

"Willow Rosenburg! He is not an animal! How dare the-the commandos as you call them, to try to control a person like that? That's inhumane. That's just not right."

"Well, Mom, to them, vampires aren't human. They're just hosts for the demon," Buffy said, trying to quell her mother's anger.

"It doesn't matter! He's not something they can just tinker with... Besides, how do you know so much about them, young lady?"

"I joined them. Sort of. I don't help them capture demons or whatever. I just go with them sometimes to kick some of the more difficult ones. I don't really like it, but Riley's insistent."

"Riley?"

"Yeah, he's a guy from school. He really likes me, but I'm not in to him... Obviously. He's one of them."

"Ah... Honey... you're going to stop them, right?"

"Eventually. It's not that simple. They have the entire military backing them up. I'm just one girl."

"Buffy Anne Summers, I have never heard you talk that like, and as long as you are a Slayer, I never want to hear you say it again. You have the power to change the world. You've already saved it how many times now?"

"Four," she said with a shrug.

"How many other people can say that? Buffy, you're so much more that 'just a girl'." You're an amazing young woman that can do anything. You're so special, and I'm so proud of you."

"For what?"

"For saving the world. For going against something you believe is wrong. And for following your heart. You are so brave. I want you to do something, okay?"

"Sure, Mom. What is it?"

"Whenever it's you and something you want verses what others want for you, choose yourself first, okay? You only have one life to live, Buffy, and I don't want anyone telling my baby girl what is best for them." Buffy smiled widely. She knew then, that no matter what she chose in the future, her mother would support her.

"I love you," she said, walking around the counter to her mother, giving her a tight, but less than full strength, hug.

"I love you, too, Buffy," Joyce replied, squeezing her daughter tightly. They heard a slight sniffle, and both released the other, looking toward Willow who was wiping small tears from her face.

"You two are so sweet," she said, coming around to them.

"We love you, too, Willow," Joyce smiled, giving her surrogate daughter a hug and a kiss on the temple.

...

Willow and Buffy decided to walk back to the dorm, after insisting to Joyce that they didn't need a ride. The girl-to-girl talk would be nice. "So, heavy stuff from your mom, huh?" Willow asked whenever they were at least a block from Rovello Drive.

"Very. I never even knew some of that stuff. Like, I never saw my dad drink. But I was also a kid, and didn't think about it very much. But looking back on it now, it makes sense. I remember one time I heard them yelling, but I don't remember what they were talking about. I was a teenager, and everything was always drama, drama, drama. So, I wanted to hear what they were saying. As soon as I walked in the room, dad just immediately shut up. I thought at first he was talking about me, you know? But I remember now, that he had his hand raise, like he was about to slap Mom. But he stopped as soon as he saw me. Ha, I wonder if he knew that I could've stopped him? Like really stopped him?" Buffy asked with a sad laugh.

"Maybe. Buffy, I—I'm glad we talked with her. My mom doesn't even think boys exist in my life, aside from Xander, but I think she gave up planning that wedding whenever I introduced her to Oz. She didn't really get it, him being a musician or ya know, quiet and thoughtful. But your mom, she just understands us so much better."

"It probably has something to do with knowing about all the bumps that go in the night. Vampires, demons, witches... it's all new to her, but at the same time, she does seem to handle it well, right? And It's always so convenient when she goes out of town right when a big baddie shows up at my door. Figuratively speaking, of course."

"Oh, yes, absolutely," Willow laughed. "I still can't believe you were able to tell her. I would have been terrified to tell my mom any of it."

"Well, if you remember, it wasn't exactly easy. They both tried to burn us at the stake."

"Oh, yeah..." Willow said, absentmindedly. "But that was a spell... Buffy, do you ever feel like we're bound by magic? I mean, that these things happen to us because of magic?"

"It's the Hellmouth. It draws in all kinds of energy, from magic to demons. That's why we've seen and experienced the things that happen here. That's why I'm here. Mom says she chose to come here, but I don't think that's it, exactly. I think she was drawn here, because of me. That's why Angel came here, and Spike, too. The Hellmouth is this massive portal of potential energy, and not that stuff we studied in physics. It's incredibly dangerous, and there isn't a single good thing that can come from it. That's why all these weird things happen to us."

"How do you know so much about it?"

"Well, it's the only things Giles continually lectured me on. I guess some of it kind of seeped in," she teased.

Willow was silent for a minute before continuing the conversation. "Buffy, is that maybe why my spells always go so crazy?"

"Yeah, it's possible. And Will, you're still learning. You're not an expert witch or anything. You're still discovering your powers, and the fact that we're in Sunnydale doesn't help."

"I-I think I'm going to stop doing magic for a while. I mean, Giles has mentioned a coven that's in England, and I could do this study abroad thing for school, and they could pay for me to go over there. Plus, I'd be doing school stuff for like a month, so I wouldn't be over there just to learn magic... But, um, what do you think?"

"Willow! That sounds great! Come next fall you could be a certified badass witch!"

"I was hoping you'd say something like that," she said, digging in her back pocket. "Because I've already applied." She brandish an unopened envelope, but Buffy could tell the eagerness and anticipation was killing her.

"And you haven't opened it?" Buffy chastised as a tease. "Let's see!" she said as they stopped under a street light.

Willow grinned widely at her friend's enthusiasm, and tore it open. She read the words slightly under her breath, "'Willow Rosenburg, we are pleased to announce that you have been accepted into UCLA Sunnydale Study Abroad program!' Buffy! I got in!"

"I'm so proud of you!" Buffy exclaimed, pulling her best friend in for a hug.

"Thanks," she said, tucking the paper into her pocket. "But I'm a little worried about something."

"What's that?" Buffy asked as they continued their walk.

"What if Oz comes back?"

"Well, if he comes back, then we'll tell him where you are and he can either go to you there, or wait here until you get back."

"You'll make sure he stays?"

"I don't think I'll have to," she smiled, encouraging her friend.

"Good... Buffy, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"I know you didn't say anything to your mom about how you actually feel about Spike. How _do_ you feel about him?"

Buffy sighed. "That's a good question. I'm mad at him for the way he broke up with me. I'm angry because he won't let me talk to him. But... I want to see him. I want to spend time with him, and I just feel like there's so much I don't know about him. I want to know more. I know the vampire side of him. William the Bloody—killer of two Slayers—was sired by Drusilla. He's part of the Aurelian line, same as Dru, Angel, and Darla, who all stemmed from the Master. He is a strong opponent, a skilled fighter, and under normal circumstances, completely dangerous. Having that said... I don't think he would hurt anyone right now. I don't know why, but it's just a gut feeling. I know that just a little bit ago he tried to bite you, but something else has changed him, something that's not the chip. I mean, what is stopping him from finding some fledglings to control and get them to come after us? If he wanted to hurt someone, he could find a way." Buffy took a deep breath from her rambling. "Will, Giles told me something tonight, that I hadn't really thought about."

"What did he say?"

"He—he compared Spike to... Angelus."

"Angelus? What do you mean?"

"When Angel lost his soul, what was he like?" she asked, intentionally asking her friend a hard question by remembering the frightening creature.

"He was scary. You remember what he did. He stalked us, tried to mess with our heads. Evil incarnate."

"He made everything into a living hell. Now what's Spike like?"

"Spike... well he's just kind of obnoxious. I mean, he's not too bad to be around. He doesn't make us feel bad, or anything. He just likes to annoy us. Buffy, I don't understand. What's the point?"

"The point is, neither of them have souls."

"Oh. I—I never thought about that. They may as well be on opposite sides of the spectrum."

"Exactly. When Angel was-well Angel- that's when he said he loved me. But Spike... he _doesn't_ have a soul, but he told you guys that he loves me. Will, when I'm patrolling, I can feel him watching me. Not in a creepy way. But I can feel that he's watching out for me. It's like he's protecting me."

"Didn't Angel try to do that, too?"

"But this is different. Angel always got in the way. Spike's barely there. I mean, I can sense when a vampire is close. It's hard to explain, but I get these tingles on the back of my next and I can just tell. He's always teetering on that boundary. If he gets too close, I can tell he's there, but he tries to stay just beyond that so I won't know he's there."

"How do you know it's him?"

"I can just feel like. Like Xander used to play 'Guess Who' until I flipped him on his butt, or like you know who's calling whenever you answer the phone."

"Oh. So it's like instinct?"

"Yeah."

"Why do you think he stays just on the other side of that boundary?"

"I guess he doesn't want me to know he's there. I don't know. But it doesn't really bother me. When Angel did it, it felt like he was protecting me. Spike's never had to protect me. He's fought me, and he knows I can hold my own. That alone makes me feel like he understands me more than Angel could imagine. I—I feel something for him, Will. I do. I don't hate him, and it's been a long time since I've actually wanted to hurt him. It pisses me off when Xander says some stuff to him, and I can't stand it."

Willow was quiet as they walked. Her head hung in deep thought. "Do-do you love him?" she asked quietly.

"Do I love Spike?"

"Yeah. I mean, you miss him, it bothers you when Xander talks bad about him. You've got these feelings you can't exactly explain. While the spe—engagement—was still on, were you happy?"

"Completely. I knew something didn't feel right, but at the same time, it did. I knew that's how it was supposed to be. I knew I was supposed to hate him, to be disgusted that I was letting him kiss and hold me. But I loved every second. Willow, he... he's a really good kisser," Buffy grinned, a mischievous glint in her eye.

Willow laughed at her words. "You never answered my question," she said, sobering up. "Do you love Spike?"

"I... I think so. God, I don't know."


	14. Chapter 13

Spike, as always, was following Buffy as she patrolled. Since telling his that she could sense him, he had been testing that boundary almost every night. He could tell when he had gotten too close. If she were alone, her steps would be hesitant, but only for a split second. Only someone like he could see the small variance. So tonight, he stayed along that barrier.

He saw the demon before she did, struggling with himself not to surge forward to protect her. He never liked seeing her getting her beat down, except when he had been doing it; however, now was different. Now he wanted to help her, and it took every ounce of strength not to charge forward.

He knew the boundary between him and the Slayer's senses was nearing as he subconsciously progressed toward the battle, and he was determined not to break it. He found himself only several feet away, instead of the yards it should have been, when he noticed his mistake and hers. She sensed him. He saw her shift slightly, her attention momentarily focused elsewhere, and that's when the demon attacked. He watched as her small body was raised into the air over the demon's head and then smashed into the headstone with enough force to break a normal human in half. He winced as he heard a few bones crack, and he prayed silently that it was just her ribs, not her back. Spike watched the cowardly creature run off as the Slayer was crippled. "C'mon Buffy, get up," he whispered as she rolled from the towering block of stone onto the ground. "Get up, get up," he said frantically.

He smiled with relief as he saw her jump up, ready for another assault. He was too focused on her to see Riley before she was about to attack him. He sighed and shook his head, backing away from the two and remembering how things were supposed to be right now. He wasn't supposed to be here, not in this cemetery, or this time. He and Buffy weren't meant to be right now. They weren't meant to be anything but enemies right now. Well, for her. Of course, he'd never be the one to say that his small obsession of her started long before this. He was obsessed with killing her the moment he heard of his grand-sire "falling in love" with her. Because what kind of vampire could fall in love with the Slayer? One similar to him, apparently. _Must be in my blood,_ he laughed to himself as he started walking to his new home. He stopped and thought a minute. _Blood. Almost out. Of smokes, too._ He dug out the bills in his pocket and thumbed through them._ It's enough_, he thought happily.

He looked up from his painted nails to see Buffy trying blow Riley off, but he wasn't really getting the message. Spike wanted to walk away. It wasn't his problem. But there was a certain look in that boy's eyes that he didn't like.

...

Days since the talk with her mother and Willow, Buffy had yet to approach Spike. Riley had finally convinced her to join the Initiative, but there were times she wouldn't patrol with her "squad." She much preferred being alone. Unless she was with... Her thoughts were cut short as a demon caught her off guard as she rounded a corner of the cemetery. The burly creature saw her and instinctively pursued her. They jabbed and kicked, both opponents hitting and missing. Buffy felt a familiar presence, effectively catching her off guard. Her feelings were quickly set aside as the demon picked her small body up and smashed her into a tombstone. It used the momentary advantage to run from the Slayer. She rolled onto the ground, and with her own momentum, propelled herself into her fighting stance. Sensing someone behind, she turned quickly, hands ready for attack.

Her fight was diminished as she saw Riley standing there, obviously in awe and shock of her previous moves. "Wow. Nice kicky- thing," he said. She fought the urge to tell him the actual name of that "kicky-thing" but refrained.

"What are you doing here?" she said sternly, feeling Spike's presence leave her peripheral senses.

"Looking for you. She who hangs out in cemeteries," he chuckled, using a line she had before when explaining exactly what a Slayer—what she—is.

_Ugh. Why tonight?_ She groaned internally. "Well, I have to get the demon," she said unconvincingly pointing in the direction of the renegade demon.

"Don't worry. We'll bag it," he said nonchalantly.

"It's really not that simple," she said, trying to leave.

"Yeah, but... Look I really think—"

"Riley, I just... I can't," she said, cutting him off.

"Can't talk?"

"Can't any of it. It's a huge black pit of a mistake, and I can't go there again," she sighed, as if she'd said the entire thing once before.

"Again? You dated me before?" he asked, confusion evident on his round, baby-like face.

"No. Look, I was involved... You don't know what my life is like," she said, desperately trying to get him to leave her alone.

"And I'm dying to find out," he said, hoping the words he was saying would help his situation.

"Dying being the operative word here. Ok, there's just too much risk. There's just... It's just doomed. And I can't do doomed again right now. Sorry," she said, though she was anything but sincerely apologetic.

"I don't understand where this is coming from. I know you like me. And it's not like we don't have anything in common," Riley said sarcastically.

"But that's not enough!" Buffy groaned, quickly losing control of her emotions.

"Buffy, I'm thrown by this. I'm confused. But I can feel my skin humming. My hands, my every inch of me. I've never been this excited about anybody before. I'm not trying to scare you, and I'm not gonna force myself on you, but I am, by God, not gonna walk away because I think it might not work. I don't know what's happened in your past." His words were beginning to sound like desperate pleas.

"Pain. Death. Apocalypse. None of it fun. Do you know what a Hellmouth is? Do you have a fancy term for it? Because I went to high school on it. For three years. We do not have that much in common. This is a job for you," she said sternly.

"It's not just a job," he said, trying to make her see his side sa well.

"It's an adventure. Great. But for me, it's destiny. It is something I can't change, something I can't get out of. I'm stuck."

"You don't have to be. You're not in high school anymore. You can change things."

"Riley, no."

"I know it may seem—"

"Riley... My answer is no." Her answer. Definite. No one else had a say. She was tired of it. Tired of him trying to get into this non-existent relationship. Tired of not knowing who she was meant for, though she had a good idea of who it was. Tired of everyone else trying to tell her what to do. She turned, walking away from the army boy who was anxious to be more than just her friend.

"Is there someone else?" Riley asked hesitantly.

"It doesn't matter if there was. There's nothing between us, Riley," she said coldly. Her patience with him was wearing thin.

"Don't walk away from me," he growled, grabbing her forearm as she turned away once again.

"Let go of me," she warned, glaring defiantly into his eyes.

"Not until we talk about this!"

"There's nothing to talk about. Now, I'm not going to warn you again. Let. Go. Of. Me," she said, punctuating each word carefully.

The two eyed each other intently. Fury was rolling off of them both, and they knew that with one wrong move the other would go down. "I believe the lady told you to let you go of her," a voice came from beside them. Immediately, Buffy perked up, and the anger radiating from her lessened.

"Do I know you?" Riley asked, his hand still firmly attached to Buffy's arm.

"Doesn't matter," Spike replied, focusing on his hand. Finally getting the message, Riley removed his hand.

"I can handle myself," Buffy said, quietly.

"I know, pet. It was him would couldn't handle you," Spike smiled to her.

"Again, who are you?" Riley asked, becoming increasing upset.

"He's—"

"A friend," Spike smirked. "Now, why don't you and ya' army mates chase after that demon that just ran off?"

"We're not through here," he said to Buffy in a very unpleasant manner as she and Spike tried to walk away.

"No, we really are. There's nothing between us, Riley. So please, get the message," she said sternly, turning to face him.

"It's him, isn't it?" he asked, pointing in Spike's direction.

"He's got nothing to do with it," Buffy exclaimed, walking back to him. _He's got everything to do with it,_ her mind retorted.

"So, I didn't just see the way you looked at him when he walked up? The way you perked up when you heard him?" Riley questioned angrily.

"It. Doesn't. Matter! It's none of your business, Riley."

"Yeah, it is my business! You've been leading me on for months, and then you just blow me off? Tell me the truth, Buffy!"

"The truth? Riley, you can't handle the truth!"

"Try me."

"Fine. Yes, it's him. This is Spike, the guy I was engaged to. Yes, I lied when I said it was a joke, and I'm sorry about that. But you know what, I don't care anymore. I don't have any romantic feelings for you, and right now, I don't even have friendly feelings for you. What is it

you want to hear?" she yelled.

Riley sighed and shook his head. "Nothing. I'll... I'll see you around. I'll get the squad after that—thing," he said as he turned and walked away from them.

...

Spike wasn't sure what it was the propelled him across the graveyard to come face to face with one of the guys who had been after him. It was probably the fact that the stupid boy thought he could get away with grabbing Buffy's arm. Along with the fact that he didn't let go, he found himself a little worried about the person that was quickly on Buffy's bad side. Leaping easily over the headstones, he was at Buffy's side before she could finish her threat, though neither realized he was there until he spoke up.

He smiled to himself a little as Buffy perked up, and almost chewed him out for showing up. He knew she didn't need him to help. But it was always nice to have a little back up. Almost as soon as he arrived, Riley was pointing fingers at him. _'S not my fault the girl doesn't want you. If you point that finger at me, I'll rip if off of your hand. There he goes again!_

"It's him, isn't it?" the burly ponce accused.

"He's got nothing to do with it," he heard Buffy say. He could tell she was lying, which was a shock to him. He wasn't supposed to stand in the way of these two. They were supposed to be together until well after Dracula showed up.

"So, I didn't just see the way you looked at him when he walked up? The way you perked up when you heard him?" Riley asked. _You noticed that, too, huh?_

He noticed the boy's defeat long before Buffy. In fact, he knew he had given up as soon as he literally gave up his hold on her. He could not resist smiling as he walked off.

"Finally!" Buffy groaned as they started walking. He noticed the slight wince she gave whenever she inhaled too deeply.

"You a'right?" he asked as they walked.

"Think I may have cracked a rib," she hissed as she barely touched the too tender area.

"Think so, too. Heard somethin' when that demon smacked you against the stone."

"You were there, and you didn't help me?" she asked, her anger slowly started to rise again.

"Yeah. Didn't know you need my help. Looked like you were doing just fine," he responded.

"I was... 'Til it managed to get the upper hand."

"You could have always asked for my help," Spike smirked. He knew that would never happen.

"Fine. Next time, I will," she said, putting on her resolve face. _Can't argue with that_, he thought. "So... what were you doing out here anyway?"

_Shit_. "Going to the butcher. Almost out of blood," he shrugged.

"It's almost seven. Butcher closes at five."

"Forgot about that. Oh—"

"I know you were watching me," she said nonchalantly.

"What makes you think that?" he asked, deeply curious in how she knew, especially since he had been trying so hard to be careful.

"I—felt you," she said, trying not to sound dirty, even though with Spike's mind it didn't allow the words to sound innocent. After everything he'd been through, it took quite a bit of willpower not to provide an innuendo. "I mean, your presence. Your vampire-y presence. You know what I mean. That's what—" he voice trailed into a whisper as he understood.

"That's what let the demon get the upper hand," he said, a note of comprehending in his tone.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"What was that argument about? Between you and Capitan Cardboard?"

"Oh. He wanted there to be something between us, and I didn't. He just didn't get it that I wasn't interested."

_Something I understand all too well._ "So you two aren't—"

"Together? God, no. He's a nice guy, but my interests are... elsewhere," she said, sparing a look in his direction.

"Ahem, yeah. Well, guess I better get going..." he said, trying to shy away from their non-existent relationship from becoming more real.

"Spike, please don't do that. Don't shut me off like that. I have been trying to work up the nerve to talk to you for months now."

"You've never had a problem with talking to me before. What makes lately any different?"

"Are you stupid or just ignorant?" she asked, starting to get upset again. "I mean, we had this spell put on us, making us fall in love with each other, and I don't know about you, but it doesn't exactly feel like it's broken to me! I—I can't stop thinking about you. When I patrol, I hope you'll show up just so I may have the chance to talk to you. I feel something here, Spike, and if you don't please let me know now so I can go apologize to Riley."

Spike was flabbergasted. Never had the Slayer talked to him like that before, and it was actually scaring him. "I am not stupid, or ignorant, first of all. And second... I know what you mean. But I—we—"

"Can't? Why? Because you're from the future, and you don't want to screw things up?"

"Uh—what?"

"Yeah, I know you're 'from the future'. Doesn't mean that you can treat me like this."

He was so tempted to throw some of the future stuff in her face. _At least I'm not throwing you around, beating you up, and then shagging you senseless. At least I'm honest, telling you some things. _"At least I can tell you I love you!" He hadn't intended for that last part to come out verbally. He just wanted the whole thing to be in his head. _Too late now._ That look on her face was enough to make him want to run. Run from her, from the situation, and especially from Sunnydale. He had done it now.

"You... You love me?" she whispered, her voice a small whimper. She was looking at him, her green eyes shining, full of hope and fear. He could hear her pulse speeding up in anticipation, and he could see a smile slowly creeping across her face.

He sighed. _Too late now. Cover's blown._ "Yeah, love. I do. Have for a while now."

The smile was spread from ear to ear, and all Spike could do was smile back. _Most beautiful thing in the world is smiling at me. If I was staked now, I'd die the happiest man in the world._ But as soon as he returned the smile, it was gone. "What?" he asked. When she didn't answer, he asked again, "What? Buffy, what's wrong?"

"I... I can't say it back... I-I don't know if I do. I have these feelings for you, but I can't explain them. I don't know how to."

"Slayer, it's okay," he said, trying to smile back.

"It's just... there's so much I don't know about you."

"Like what, pet?"

"Like... what's your real name? Who were you when you weren't with Dru? How old were when she turned you?"

"William Pratt. I was 25. We can answer more questions later. You look like you need to get to your Watcher's and get patched. Probably don't want any nasties seein' you like this, thinkin' you're damaged goods, yeah?"

"William," she said with a small smile. "Yeah, you're right. When can I get these questions out of the way?" she asked, mocking him lightly.

"Tomorrow, if you want to?"

"After patrol?"

He nodded with a big smile. _Much easier than the last time_, he thought. He turned to walk away when he heard her whisper his name. His _given_ name.

"William," she whispered. He turned around again, this time to face her. In less than a second, she was standing nose to nose with him. He could smell everything on her now: the slight sweat from the fight, the anxiety from her conflict with Riley, and most prominent, her shampoo. Honey and vanilla. Completely intoxicating.

She reached up with her left—and good—arm to gently stroke his face. She moved closer to him still, and gently placed her lips on his. "That's a nice name," she breathed against his skin.

"Thanks, pet," he muttered, lightly wrapping an arm around her. It was easy for him to kiss her now. The feeling of her lips on his, her body so close to his, was so tempting to him. It took her pulling away for him to stop. "What?" he asked, wide-eyed and apprehensive.

"My ribs," she winced with a small laugh. "I've—uh—I've gotta go."

"Right. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah."

"'night, love," he said, kissing her forehead lightly.


	15. Chapter 14

Buffy was more than happy to let Riley and his crew go after the demon that just kicked her butt. She made her way to Giles' to be patched up before heading to her own dorm. _Spike asked me on a date! _she smiled to herself. _Now just what to do about it... First things first, I'll get fixed up. While I'm there, I'll tell them all. They're my friends, after all. They'll be happy for me. Giles seemed happy for me, Willow and Mom, too. So, now it's kind of just down to Xander and Anya._

She walked into Giles' apartment, glad to see that everyone was there. "Hey, guys." An apprehensive look passed through as she limped in, and she was suddenly very worried. "What?" she asked, shutting the door behind her.

"Are you alright?" Giles asked, noting her staggered walk.

"Oh. Uh, yeah. I ran into a demon and he gave me a good beating... I think I may have cracked a few ribs or something. Could you fix me up?" she asked, sitting on one of his barstools.

"Certainly," he said, walking off into the bathroom to get the first aid kit.

"So, what was with that look?" Buffy asked, pointedly looking to Willow.

"Remember how we found out that some weird things were going on with the Initiative? Other than them just capturing demons?" Xander said.

"Yeah... what about it?"

"Well, we just found out about something else. Something about 314. Do you know anything about that?"

"314? No. I know there are some rooms that only the high-level scientist people go in. I've only been down there a few times. I don't think they trust me yet." She was thankful Giles came back. She rolled up the side of her shirt, grimacing at the massive bruise that was on her ribs. She didn't notice how Xander's eyes widened at the bruise, and the amount of skin she was showing. She winced as Giles tenderly tested the area for more extreme soreness. "So, where'd you hear that from?"

"Hear what?" Giles asked.

"About 314."

"Um, Spike mentioned it. He said that the other demons were scared of something else besides you... and that something is in room 314," Giles explained.

"Oh. Okay. I'll just asked about it," she shrugged, making is lesser of a deal than she needed it to be.

"No!" he exclaimed, backing up, allowing her to see the sincerity on his face. "They don't need to know we know about them. I don't trust them at all, and I presume they don't trust you either. You're an outside force, and one that they can't control at that. Buffy, I don't want you to put yourself in danger."

"She's already doing that," Xander said. "She goes down there and out with them, and we don't know that they're actually keeping her safe."

"And she is sitting right here," Buffy said, leaning around Giles to actually see her friend, wincing at the slight pain from her movements. "I can take care of myself. I've sparred with some of them, and they're nothing I can't handle. In fact, a few days ago, we were basically playing a military version of hide and seek. It took them half an hour to track me down, and that's just because I got bored. Ten of them came after me, and I knocked most of them out in about a minute and a half. I was holding back! If they turned on me, I could take them, easily."

"I wasn't trying to undermine you, Buff. I know you're strong and that you can take care of yourself, but I worry, ya know. We all do," he said, looking to the others for agreement.

"We do," Willow agreed.

"I don't," Anya said, nonchalantly. The Scoobies looked at her in shock, astonished she wouldn't care about Buffy's safety. "What?" she asked, looking up from the magazine she was looking through.

"You don't worry about Buffy?"

"Not really. I've known a few slayers in my time. They were all perfectly capable of taking care of themselves."

"Aside from the fact that they died!" Xander cried.

"Xander, a lot of them died from that test they go through at 18. Any that have reached any older have the wisdom and instinct that allows them to live longer. I have faith in Buffy," Anta said with a smile.

"Thanks, Anya," Buffy said, taken aback with the ex-demon's admittance. She knew she liked something about this girl. And it was probably her explicit honesty.

"Well, I... I guess you're right, Anya," Giles stuttered. "Buffy, I do have faith in you. But that doesn't mean I don't worry. You—you're like a daughter to me, and I would be insane not to worry about you."

"Thanks, Giles. I mean, I understand. I'm glad you guys worry about me, but I'm also thankful for what Anya said. Sometimes, you just need to have faith in me." She felt Giles finish bandaging her side, and slid her shirt back down. "Which kinda works in to what I need to talk to you about. I have a date tomorrow," she smiled.

"That's great, Buffy!" Willow exclaimed. The girls noticed Anya's wide smile, but also saw Xander's concern.

"May I ask with whom?" Giles asked, hiding a smile.

Buffy felt her face flush with sudden embarrassment. "With Spike."

"Spike?" Xander choked out. "You've got to be kidding me, Buff. I thought you were over him? Will, shouldn't that spell have worn off by now?"

"There's no spell on her," Willow said proudly. "I did one a few weeks ago, with Giles' help. We were curious to see if that may have been the case, but it's not. Buffy is spell-free."

"I could've told you that!" Buffy and Anya said simultaneously. They smiled at each other, but quickly returned to scowling at Xander.

"So why are you going on a date with him? It just doesn't make sense!" Xander asked.

"Maybe because I want to? Have you ever thought of that?" Buffy asked, jumping off her seat to talk to her unreasonable friend.

"But—Buff, he's evil! He's a soulless monster. He's tried to kill us! I mean think about this!"

"I have thought about it, Xander. Willow, do you remember what we talked about a few days ago?"

"The Angel thing?" Willow asked softly.

"Yeah," Buffy said encouragingly.

"What does Angel have to do about this?" Xander asked, starting to get upset.

"A lot, actually. So right now, you would describe Spike right now?" Buffy asked, completely keeping her cool.

"Evil. Soulless. Dangerous. A murderer. A bloodsucking, undead, demon! He's a killer, Buffy."

"Now, describe Angel," she said, crossing her arms across.

"Well, Angel was kinda cool. I mean, he helped you with stuff, and aside from turning into Angelus, not too bad."

"And do you know the difference between Angel and Spike?"

"Yeah, Angel had a soul."

"Think about it Xander. Compared to Angelus, how bad is Spike? I mean really think about it."

"I don't—"

"Amuse me, please," Buffy pleaded, desperate for her friend to see her view.

"Compared to Angelus..."  
"Yes, compared to the other evil, soulless vampire who's tried to kill me. Compared to the one who stalked us all, tried to kill us, actually killed Ms. Calendar. What has Spike actually done that is so bad? He didn't stalk us. He hasn't actually killed anyone since coming here. He never went after Mom, or Giles. Hell, Xander, the only reason he went for you and Willow was because he wanted Willow to do a spell. You were leverage for Willow to do the spell. He never really hurt either one of you. Right?"

"Right," Willow gleamed.

"But-but he—that night at school," the boy stuttered.

"Parent-teacher night? He never came after anyone but me, and that's because I'm the Slayer."

"But what about—"

"Xander, the sooner you accept it, the easier it will be," Anya said. "Buffy has a thing for Spike, and he for her. It makes sense. They're a good match."

"Ahn, could you just, not?" he asked, his temper starting to flare.

"No, you 'just, not' Xander. I like Spike. And as he has already told you, he loves me. How much more evidence do you need to realize he's changed?" Buffy said, finally exasperated.

All eyes were on Xander at this point. He was, for once, quiet as all the eyes bore into him. "I guess more than you're giving me, Buff. Look, I don't have to like it, but if you're happy, okay. I'm gonna go. I'll see you... later," he finally said, walking out the door. Their eyes followed him as the door shut, each one lost in their own thoughts.

"Buffy," Giles managed to cough out, "I'm proud of you. That—that took a lot of courage to stand up to him like that."

"Well, I am the Slayer. Courage is kind of my thing," she shrugged, wincing at the pain that follow.

"No, Buffy, that's not what he meant. That kind of courage comes easy when you're going against something that is evil and trying to take over the world. It's a lot harder when you're against a friend," Anya amended.

"Or a boyfriend?" Willow asked, her eyes filled with empathy.

"I-I don't think he's in love with me," she said quietly. "But I love him, and I don't even think he cares."

"Of cour—" Buffy started.

"Don't. Please. I can see the way he lights up when you come around, Buffy. I'm not blaming you, or anything. It's just something I see. Oz and Willow would look at each other the same way. It's how I would wish he would look at me."

"But you remember what Spike said, right?" Willow asked, hoping she could cheer up the girl who unexpectedly became her friend.

"About us? Yeah, I remember. I just hope he didn't settle for me," Anya stated, looking up from her now battered nails. "Well, I'm going to go. I'll see you later. I hope you have fun on your date, Buffy."

"Thanks," Buffy said with a small, sad smile. _Poor girl,_ she thought. "I guess we'll head out, too, Giles," she said, looking between Willow and Giles.

Willow nodded as she stood from her seat. "Well, Buffy, I am proud of you. It could not have been easy standing up to Xander like that," Giles grinned.

"It was easier than I thought it would be," she replied. "I'll see you before sunset."

The trio of girls left Giles' apartment, and Buffy was momentarily curious to what his neighbors thought of their gathering place. "Anya, are you gonna be okay? I mean, do we need to walk you home?" Willow asked.

"I'll be okay. I don't live too far away. Besides, it's not like I can't handle myself. Thanks, though."

"It's no problem, really," Buffy insisted.

"I appreciate it, but I just need some time to myself," Anya said, not even trying to smile at either of the girls. "Bye," she said suddenly before crossing the street with a speed just short of running.

"Do you think what she said was true?" Buffy asked as they continued to their dorm.

"About Xander being in love with you? Maybe. I thought he had gotten over you long ago..."

"I knew he had a crush on me when I first moved here, but I thought I made it clear I wasn't interested."

"Maybe since Angel left, he thought he may have a chance?" Willow questioned.

"I just don't see Xander in that way. He's like a brother. Albeit an annoying big brother who always thinks my choice in guys is never good enough, but a brother all the same."

"I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees that," Willow laughed. The two were quiet for a while, each gathering their own thoughts. "Buffy, I—I need to tell you something," the redhead finally said.

"What is it, Wills?"

"Umm, well I kinda met someone."

"Like someone you're interested in, kind of someone?" Buffy asked, her eyes and smile gleaming at her friend.

"Yeah, but see, it's really unexpected. I mean, I never thought I would be interested in them, but it turns out I am. And I think they're interested in me, too. We just hit it off so well, and um, I really like them."

"Who is it?!"

Willow was quiet again, looking at her hands as they walked. "I mean, I still love Oz. I do. But this, it's all so new, and-and different."

"Willow, what's their name?" Her cheeks were as red as her hair, and Buffy could see she was nervous.

"Um... Tara," she whispered.

"Tara? That's a strange name for a b—Tara's a girl."

"Yeah. You're freaked, aren't you? I knew you would be. I shouldn't have said anything. You're going to think I'm a freak..."

"Willow," Buffy chuckled, "you're not a freak. It _is_ unexpected. But I will love you no matter who, or what, you love."

"Really?" she asked, finally meeting Buffy's gaze.

"Really. So, when do I get to meet her?"

"Oh, uh, how about tomorrow? After your date with Spike?"

"Or during? We can meet you at the Bronze."

"Great. Now, tell me about her," Buffy smiled.

Willow didn't stop talking for the rest of the walk.

...

Xander was furious. He couldn't believe what they just said to him, and they just expected him to believe it? _Yeah, right!_ He thought. _How stupid do they think I am? They want me to let Buffy go on a date with that monster? Yeah, well, we'll see about that! _he ranted wildly.

He knocked on the door, and the told the guy who he was there to see. He practically ran up the stairs and knocked on the door. He walked in moments after the voice on the other side said it was okay. "You're Xander, Buffy's friend, right?" he asked, tossing a paper ball into his waste basket.

"Yeah, hey, Riley," he said, closing the door behind him. "I heard you were looking for a vampire, about yea-high," holding up his hand to emphasize. "Had the whole Billy Idol look..."

"Hostile 17. He's, for lack of better terms, the one that got away. What about him?"

"Well, you're in luck."

"What do you mean?" Riley asked, standing from his bed, giving the dark haired boy a curious glance.

"I know where it lives."

...

_Dear Lord, what is that sound? _Giles thought as he rolled over in his bed. He opened his eyes groggily and immediately hated himself for having that second glass of scotch. Peeling back his eyes, he saw the clock read a little after midnight. He groaned as he sat up and realized the annoying sound was his phone. He reached for the blasted thing and brought it to his ear. "Hullo?" he rasped.

"Mr. Giles?"

"Yes. Who's this?"

"This is Officer Davis from Sunnydale Memorial. I was told to report to you in case this happened."

"For Queen's sake, it's after midnight! In case what happened?" he asked grumpily.

"Ms. Faith Lehane, sir. She woke up."

"Woke up? What in the bloody hell do you mean she 'woke up'? She's been in a coma! One specifically, we've been told, she'd probably not wake up from!"

"Sir, the nurse that watched over Ms. Lehane said that she was gone when she arrived for her shift. There was an attendant that was unconscious and was stripped. ETD, I mean, estimated time of departure was approximately two hours ago. Sir, what am I to do?"

Giles swore he must still be asleep and he's just making things up in his head. He pinched himself on his arm, and groaned inwardly when he knew he was awake. Sighing, he answered the eager officer. "You are to assemble a team, and keep a watchful eye out for her. She is very dangerous! Just because she has just awoken from a coma does not mean she can't hurt someone!"

"Yes, sir," the man replied before hanging up.

"Better call Buffy," he grumbled. The phone rang as many times as it did for him before one of the girls picked up.

"What?" Buffy almost yelled.

"Buffy, it's Giles. I—I've got bad news."

"What now, Giles? If it's another apocalypse, can it at least wait to morning?" she complained.

"It's worse."

"Giles, what could be wor-... She's awake, isn't she?" Buffy asked, this time completely awake.

"Yes. She escaped a few hours ago."

"Hours? It's been hours and we're just now finding out? What the—okay. Stay home. Stay safe. Don't open the door!" she urged, quickly changing clothes and launching out of her dorm.

...

A FEW HOURS LATER

...

Faith couldn't believe how easily that worked! All she had to do was touch Buffy's hand, and BAM! They were in each other's bodies.

"Honey... are you alright?" Joyce asked as she helped her up.

"Five by five," she muttered. She watched as the woman flitted around the house, picking up random objects and murmuring about them. "Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yes, Buffy. I'm fine. I've got an art showing tomorrow," Joyce said, practically running up the stairs, stuffing things into a suit case.

"Oh, okay," she said, following the woman up. Subconsciously she orbited toward Joyce's vanity, retrieving the lipstick she had discarded earlier. _Harlot_, it was called. _Perfect for what I plan to do,_ she thought.  
"Is that Harlot?" Joyce asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

"Yeah. Why?"

"That's the same one Faith picked."

_Shit!_ "Burn it," she said, tossing it to the older woman. Not a flinch from her. Nothing to note that she was not Buffy. "Hell yeah," she smiled to herself. "Hey, mom, I'm gonna go. Are you sure you're okay?" she faked caring. She watched as she dumped it in the trashcan. Whenever she turned around, Faith quickly grabbed the tube. _It's a nice color... Never knew Joyce had it in her._

"Yes, sweetie, I'm fine. I told you. Now, I've got to get going. I have a showing tomorrow evening in San Diego, and I'm not going to get enough sleep if I don't go now," Joyce smiled, eagerly getting away from the girl in her daughter's body. Joyce wasn't stupid, and though she may be naïve about the supernatural things, she knew when her daughter wasn't being herself, and this was definitely one of those times. She knew as soon as the girl said "five by five."

"Okay, mom. Well, um, have a good trip," Faith said, giving the woman an awkward hug. "Are you sure it's okay if I stay over here? I mean, I don't want to impose." _It's hard pretending to be this nice! _She thought.

"If you want. Don't you want to tell Giles and Willow that everything is okay?"

"I'll give them a call, later. It's still early for them," she said, pointing to the nearby clock. _Five in the morning. After sleeping almost a year, staying up a few days won't hurt me._

"Oh, yeah," Joyce faked a smile, unbeknownst to Faith. She gave her a kiss on the cheek and told her to be careful. "Feel free to stay and sleep a while. You must be tired."

"Yeah," she yawned. _Not sounding too bad,_ _now that I think about it._

"Well, bye honey. I'll see you in a few days."

"Bye, mom." And with a small wave, Joyce was out of the way of the dangerous rouge slayer. Without the girl's knowledge, Joyce flipped out her emergency cell phone and called the only man who would know what to do.


	16. Chapter 15

Spike paced nervously through the main room of his crypt. It was past time for Buffy to be patrolling, but he hadn't sensed her. Sure she wasn't going to back out? Not now... But here it was, well after dark, and still no sign of her. _Maybe she's meeting me there?_ he thought, still trying to give the benefit of the doubt. Nodding to himself, he pulled on his duster and headed to The Bronze.

His long coat swayed with his feet as he walked, billowing him out, but making him look dangerous and sexy. He had learned his walk long ago, and it was only natural to use it now. He could tell it was working from the sounds some girls giggling as he passed them. _Always nice to have m' ego boosted,_ he laughed internally. He remembered how often he used to come here, exactly for that reason. The smell alone was enough to make any vampire go insane. So much blood pumping in one small, enclosed area. But as he was a master vampire, he was able to control such urges. It's what's kept him alive for so long.

It took half a second for him to spot her. There she was, gyrating in the midst of several hungry boys, each one trying to touch her. Each one thinking they had any right to touch her. It took more control than he realized he had to not break all of their hands and fingers for trying to touch his girl. The song was over, and she pranced away, shaking her behind to show the boys what they were missing. Spike was still in shock as she just walked past him, not giving him a second glance.

"Slayer," he growled, trying to sound intimidating.

"Do I know you?" she asked, cocking her head to the side, and pouting a little.

"You, Buffy. Me, Spike."

"Right. You're a vampire. Wonder why I haven't staked you, yet?" she asked herself.

_That's not Buffy... God, not Faith... Please not her._ "I ask m'self that all the time." She shrugged and turned to walk away. _One last test. If she says what I'm thinkin', then it's her. Now only to reel her in._ "You know why I really hate you, Summers?" he asked in his best angry voice.

"'Cause I'm a stuck-up tight-ass with no sense of fun?" she half-laughed.

'_S her,_ he groaned. "Well, yeah... That covers a lot of it."

"'Cause I could do anything I want, and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness? I mean, I could be rich. I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? Because it's wrong," she punctuated.

He felt how her words affected him even now. He knew it wasn't Buffy. But it was worse because he knew the words were true. He'd experienced it before. And just like that, she walked away. _Soddin' bitch, _he huffed. He turned and saw Willow and Tara talking to her, neither looking too happy.

"That's not Buffy," Spike said as he sat next to Willow and Tara.  
"That's what Tara was just saying. I-I'm kinda lost," Willow said looking down.  
"It's Faith," he said grimly.  
"Faith? The girl that you said was bad news?" Tara asked.  
"Yeah. She must have done something to switch bodies with Buffy," Willow speculated.  
"Dammit," Spike swore under his breath. "Ya know Red, I really hate her..."  
"We do, too, Spike... Oh, Tara, this is Spike!" Willow chirped, motioning to each of the blondes.  
"Nice t-to meet you," she mumbled, ducking her head slightly.  
"You, too, pet. Red, ya mind gettin' us a few drinks?" he asked, handing Willow some money.  
"S-sure..." she said, sending Tara a small smile.  
"So, did she tell you anything about me?" he asked, curious to how much this girl knew.  
"S-she s-said enough."  
"As in?"  
"As in you and Buffy are kinda together, and you're, um, a v-vampire," she whispered.  
"So you know I'm not going to hurt you, right?"  
"That's what she said," Tara nodded.  
"Tara, you're good for Red. And you're good for the group. Don't let anyone tell you any different."  
"Really? You think so?" she asked, perking up.  
"I know so. Be confident in yourself. Just be careful with the magic stuff, alright? It's dangerous..." he warned, eyeing her carefully.  
"Of course..."  
"Here we go," Willow said, carefully setting down the three drinks. "What were you two talkin' about?" she asked, smiling as she sipped from her straw.  
"Nothing," Tara smiled between the two.  
Spike downed his drink, coughing a little as he realized it was actually Coke. "Thanks, Willow. I'd best be off. Got a couple Slayers to find. See ya soon?"  
"Yeah," they smiled and nodded. "Spike," Willow spoke up. "How did you know that that wasn't Buffy?"  
He shrugged. "She didn't know who I was," he smirked. _Doesn't mean what she said didn't make me want her. Especially when I know what she was saying is true._  
Spike had been infuriated, but now, he was just worried. He remembered this. Faith, in Buffy's body, took it for a joyride—including a ride with Capitan Cardboard. Buffy was pissed that he and Tara had known it wasn't her, but he, Willow and Giles needed proof. And it was the first time he realized just how badly he wanted her. Not her blood. Just her. "Because it's wrong," he mocked. He wondered if that's where Buffy had gotten the idea of being with him was wrong. He wanted to show her just how right it could be. But that was something he had to show with future Buffy. This one didn't mind too much. For about the hundredth time, he wished he had someone to talk to about all of this. _Nibblet, where are you when I need you?  
_

Spike headed straight to Giles. He must've known Faith was out, meaning he knew Buffy wasn't exactly herself. Politely, he knocked and walked in, voice a hello to the Watcher. "So, have you heard—" he asked, closing the door behind him.  
"That Faith had a run in with Buffy? Yes. Joyce called me earlier. She said that Buffy was acting strangely after their fight." Spike wasn't surprised to see Giles pour himself a glass of Scotch.  
"Yeah. I jus' had a run in with Buffy. Defin'ely not herself," he grimaced as he sat on his couch.  
"What do you mean?" Giles asked, sipping from the glass.  
"I mean that I think Faith switched bodies with Buffy," Spike said, trying not to roll his eyes at the Watcher.  
"Ah... Well then, we need to find them both. I—the Council has contacted me about retrieving her," Giles said worriedly. He reached for his phone as he set his glass down.  
"Retrieve? As in take Buffy, who is in fact in Faith's body, back to England? I can't let them do that, Rupert!"  
"We'll just explain to them what's going on—"  
"Yes, 'cause they'll be _real_ understandin'," Spike guffawed. "You're jokin', right? You know they would jus' take them both! Last I 'member, they don' 'xactly like Buffy!"  
"You don't have to tell me that! I know precisely how much they dislike her, and myself as well. But I do not believe that would harm Buffy just because—"  
"Because what? Because she quit them? Because she stuck with you, instead of them? Because she's gone against the grain and had a love affair with someone like me? Please stop me when I'm wrong!"  
Giles quietly leaned back into his chair, eyeing the vampire carefully. "What do you suggest we do?"  
"I say we go after them! We've got to switch them back. They can do whatever they want to Faith, as long as we get to keep Buffy," Spike said, now towering over the older man. Spike tried to look aggressive and convincing, but he staggered a bit as he came to his feet completely.  
"Spike, are you alright?" Giles asked, half-catching him as he almost fell over.  
"Peachy," he said, walking to the kitchen, "long as you have some—"  
"Top shelf, back of the fridge," he interjected, watching him carefully.  
Spike refused to let Giles see him lean against the wall as he watched the mug spin in the microwave. He knew he should be used to pig blood by now, but it wasn't that easy. He could only go out at night, and between avoiding being caught by the Initiative and patrolling, he almost never made it to the butchers in time. So the splurging he was used to affected more now that he had to make his little bit last. He knew he had to stop that. Maybe Giles could bring him some once a week or something. Lost in his own thoughts, he didn't hear the door open.  
The microwave beeped and he gulped down the mug's contents quickly, hearing Giles talking to someone whose voice he didn't recognize. He walked in to see a dark headed girl arguing with Giles. "What's a stevedore?" the brunette asked.  
"Buffy," Spike declared as Giles was about to answer her.  
"Just a minute," she said, turning back to Giles. When she realized what he had called her, she closed her mouth and smiled at him. It was weird, calling this girl Buffy. First off, she was taller. She wasn't blonde, or even as tan. Her lips weren't pink, but bright red. But there was something in her eyes that he knew was her. "How did you know it's me?" she asked.  
"Ran into Buffy's body at The Bronze. Gotta say Slayer, it must feel good to be you, the way she was acting."  
"What's that supposed to mean?" her raspy voice asked.  
"She was havin' a grand ole time dancin' with all those blokes..."  
"Oh I'm so going to kill her!"  
"And she didn't recognize me," he smirked. "Willow and Tara didn't see too pleased with her either. I didn't hear what was said but—"

"Oh, God! Tara! I was supposed to meet her tonight!"

"Who is Tara?" Giles asked.

"Tara is Willow's new friend. She's a nice girl. She's a witch, too," Spike said, smiling at Buffy, who was silently thanking him for the cover. "Anyway, Faith didn't know who I was. Another sign she wasn't you is that she didn't remember tonight."

"Our date," Buffy smiled. "I didn't forget," she said, attempting to wrap her arms around his small frame.

Politely, he pushed her away. "I know, pet. It's strange," he said as if that would explain everything. "I see her body, her face, but I know it's you." He stroked her face lightly and smiled as she leaned into his hand.

"We need to find her," she said, turning to face Giles. "She doesn't need to be loose, especially knowing her. She's absolutely up to no good."

"Like wreaking havoc," Giles said.

"Or killing something. Or someone," she spoke grimly.

"Or doing other things. She is in your body. What do you think the first thing she'd want to do is?"

"Get a tattoo?" Giles laughed, downing the laugh bit of his beverage.  
"Or worse," Spike said, looking at Buffy in a peculiar way.  
"Oh... Can you track her?" she asked, her face full of resolve.  
"Easily," he grinned.

"Good. Get her up to the mansion," she said, kneeling to look through Giles' weapon chest.  
"How do you supposed I do that?" he asked.  
"Spike," she said, looking over her shoulder to find him staring at her—Faith's—behind. "I'm sure you can figure out something." She smiled, what she felt was suggestively and held up two sets of chains.

"And what am I to do?" Giles asked.

"Stay here. Stay safe. Keep an eye out for her—me," she urged, pulling Spike out of the door.

"Slayer," Spike purred, "never knew you for the chains kind of girl." He smirked, knowing full well she was as long as he was the one in them.

"Shut up, Spike," she growled, starting to sound like the pre-spell Buffy. "They're for us. Not you and me," she said quickly. His smile only widened as she began to look nervous and blush. "They're for me and her. I mean..." he was almost laughing now. "Dammit! You have to chain us up so we can't get free. Preferably this body, but when she's in it, and preferably when she's unconscious."

"Buffy," he said, grabbing her shoulders to catch her attention. "I understand. We all get to the mansion. I'll chain you both up, and switch you back. Simple."

"But you have to be quick! Especially since I'm not sure how long it'll be before the Council realizes I've escaped."

"You escaped the Council?" he asked in awe.

"Yeah. Hence, scrapped up Buffy. Well, Faith. God, you know what I mean!" she said, getting frustrated.

"I do. Let's go find her."

"Can't," she said, sticking to her spot.

"Can't? Why?"

"She can't see me or she'll know. You just get her to the mansion and I'll be waiting for you at the mansion," she gave a small hopeful smile, and he knew what she was thinking. _What if it doesn't work? What if she gets away? What if I'm forced to spend the rest of my life as Faith, the rouge slayer, held in captivity by the Council?_

"Buffy, love, it'll work out. I promise."

"Are you just saying that because you're from the future?"

"No. I'm saying it because I know it'll work out. You're too stubborn for it not, too."

"Yeah, okay... You're the only one I trust enough to help me with this."

"You—you trust me?" he almost gasped. His unneeded breath was caught in his throat and he suddenly found it difficult to talk.

"Well, yeah. You think I could get Xander out here to help? He's my friend and everything, but I couldn't count on him for this. You know me better than that. Better than—oh my God. Mom! I've got to get to her! I've got to make sure she's okay! I've—"

"Relax. She's fine. She called Giles. She's in San Diego."

"Oh. Okay. Okay, good." They were walking again, both headed toward the town. "Spike," she said quietly.

"Yes, love?" he asked, glancing at her from the corner of his eyes.

"Be careful."

"Always." _Liar. Always going to put myself in danger for her, no matter what. _Spike watched as Buffy headed toward the old mansion, and desperately hoped her plan would work.


	17. Chapter 16

Spike hurried toward town, inhaling deeply as he searched for Buffy's body's scent. When no one was around, he would vamp-out, allowing his demon face to come forth for more enhanced senses. He strangely found her scent going toward campus. _Pro'ly lookin' for some pretty lil' coed to shag,_ he thought. The idea made him sick, that she would use Buffy to hook up with random guys. He didn't know Faith, but he did know that she probably wasn't as careful as Buffy would be. Because it didn't matter if Buffy got stuck with some nasty disease, as long as Faith had had her fun.

It wasn't five minutes past him leaving Buffy that he caught up to the body-switcher. He smiled to himself and swaggered toward the girl, who was looking utterly clueless around the lightly congested campus. "Slayer," he said in a seductive growl.

"You again," she said, facing him.

"Yes, pet. Me again," he smirked. He knew from his actual time that his actions could cause normal Buffy to quiver in her shoes, and he prayed now that it would be the same with Faith. "What're you doin' aroun' here, love? Lose your way?"

"No!" Faith lied. He cocked his head to the side, raising an eyebrow, and smiled. "Maybe. Okay, yeah. I was supposed to—um—meet Angel, but I can't remember where."

"Angel's in LA, love, remember? He left months ago."  
"I know that! He called me," she covered quickly. "He said he was coming to town, and wanted to see me." Spike knew she was lying. Buffy hadn't talked to Angel since Thanksgiving.

"Well, he's nowhere around. Maybe I could be of service?" he slowly stroked her arm now, slowly closing in on her. He knew it wouldn't be long before he could convince her to go to the mansion.

"Maybe you could," she responded, slowly rubbing a hand against his chest.  
"What do you need?"

"First, I need a good slay," she said, quickly grabbing the stake from the back of her waistband and poked it against his left pectoral. "And then, I need a really good lay."  
"Can't really help you with the first. It's been quiet around here for a while. But the second... I do believe I could help you with that." He pressed himself against her and the stake and kissed her deeply. She immediately reciprocated, running her tongue over his lips and nipping at them. Abruptly, she pulled away and searched the campus. "What're you lookin' for?" he asked, nibbling at her neck, eliciting a small whimper from her.

"An alley."

"I got better than that, love. Follow me," he whispered, grabbing her hand and headed toward the mansion.

It wasn't long before he felt her tense as they got closer. "Where are we going?"

"Angel's old place. He left it to me before he left," he lied easily. It was sort of true, anyway.

"I didn't know that," she said, easing a bit.

"No one does," he smiled, noting the dilation of her pupils as he did. They barged through the door and he immediately grabbed Faith and pushed her against a wall, smelling a hint of fear as he did. He grinned, glad that she was scared. She should be. He kissed her harder, and it was only a moment before she pushed his duster off and wrapped her legs around his body, pushing against him roughly. He prayed to the PTB that she didn't realized he wasn't as turn on as he pretended.

He grabbed her bottom, holding her to him, and he began to walk, following Faith's body's scent, trying to find where Buffy had placed the chains. He knew this place like the back of his hand, and he was somewhat happy when he realized it led to one of the bedrooms. He opened his eyes to see hers tightly closed, eager to loose herself in the moment. He saw the chains linked through the cast iron headboard, and he had to stop himself from smiling. _Guess Buffy wanted to be comfortable when she woke up._

He threw the girl on the bed and she only smiled, unaware of the outcome she was about to get. He pounced, sliding his hands up her body in order to get her to become more compliant. She wiggled beneath him, arching her back to push herself against him. He stroked her over her clothes, and she tried easing out of them. "Now, pet, be patient," he purred against her ear, causing Faith to groan in pleasure. Her hands quickly pulled his shirt off as his hand found its way to her breast, kneading and tweaking them until he could feel her nipples through her shirt.  
"Spike," she moaned, and he had to remember that this wasn't really Buffy. He smiled this time, and finally reached up to lock her hands in the shackles. He looked into her eyes as she stared at him, wide-eyed and scared. Clearly she was usually the one in charge. Finally, she smiled. "God you're nothing like..." she cut herself off, about to blow her cover.

"Like who, love?" he asked, staring intently at her.

"Angel," she said, catching herself.

"Damn right," he said. His blue eyes bore into her green eyes deeply as he thought of something he learned years ago. _Go to sleep, Faith. Look at me, and go to sleep. I'll wake you soon,_ his thoughts whispered to her seductively. He happily saw her eyes droop as she began to drift off.

...

Buffy watched from a dark corner as Spike burst thought the door, hauling Faith behind him. To say it shocked her to see him kiss her would be an understatement. She was hurt. Spike was hers, right? He loved her. _Maybe he just loves my body_, she thought as she watched. She wanted to tear her eyes away, but she also wanted to tear Faith's eyes out for looking at him that way. She watched as Spike walked—with Faith around his waist—to the bedroom where she put the chains. She was happy though that he was kind of following the plan. She followed silently, curious to what else he was going to do.

She knew she shouldn't watch, seeing them like that. But it was kind of neat, seeing herself and that vampire together. Strange, yes. Neat, just a little, until she remembered it was Faith, and then she was pissed again. She felt herself blushing as he made her moan, using the same techniques she knew would work on her. _Maybe it's a slayer thing,_ she thought hopefully. Buffy was relieved when he finally clamped her wrists in the restraints, but she was suddenly wondering on how he was going to knock her out. Her question was answered a minute later as she watched Faith nod off, pinned directly under Spike.

"Like what you see, love?" Spike asked, looking from the unconscious Faith, to Faith's body. He stood from the bed and sauntered toward her. Buffy looked at him flabbergasted. She didn't even know he knew she was there.

"Umm..." was all she was able to say, unable to look away from his bare chest.

"Where's the device?" he asked, bringing her attention to his face. Also not good. Getting lost in his blue eyes was suddenly too easy while he was half-naked.

"Device?" she asked, licking her rapidly drying lips.

"The one to switch you back?" he asked.

"Oh..." She shook her head and looked back to Faith, quickly coming out of her trance. "I think she has it. I don't have it," she said, checking her pockets and other hidden places in case she hadn't noticed it before.

"D'you wanna find it, or do you want me to? Figured you wouldn't want me handlin' all ya bits and pieces," he shrugged, unsure of what to do.

"You didn't seem to mind a minute ago," she said, finding her anger once again. She pushed past him and looked up and down her own body, noticing the rumpled red satin top.

"Oi, Buffy, don't be mad at me. I was just trying to—"

"To what? Have your way with my body?" she said, turning to face him, crossing her arms.

"No!" he exclaimed. "I mean, I don't want her!" he said, pointing to Buffy's unconscious body on the bed. "I want you! When it's you. I don't just want your body, Buffy, I thought you knew that. Don't you remember what I said to you that night?"

"Which night in particular?" she huffed.  
"The one when I broke off our engagement. I told you that—"

"You don't want to have sex with me. You want to make love to me because we love each other," she said looking down to the floor.

"So there is absolutely no need to worry about me, pet," he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Now, check her out and see where that mechanism is."

Buffy broke Spike's light hold on her and searched for the switch back thingy. No pockets. She groaned, hoping she wouldn't have to grope her own body. That would be strange, and she had a strong feeling Spike would enjoy it just a little too much. Instead, she checked her boots and smiled as she pulled the gadget out. "So how are we going to do this?" She asked, looking back toward him with the body-switching device in hand.

"You have another set of chains, right?"

"Yeah...?"

"Well, we'll chain her body up. Arms and feet. Then you'll use the switch. Should work, right?" he asked.

"Here's hoping," she shrugged.

...

Spike unlocked the chains as Buffy went into the other room to get the chains. Slowly, he pulled the body from the bed, and he heard her heart rate begin to increase. "Buffy!" he yelled. "She's waking up!" He heard Buffy start to run, but not before he felt a fist catch him in the jaw. He reeled backwards, trying not to release his hold on the body. He felt her swing away from him, kicking him the stomach, causing him to flip over the bed.

...

Buffy ran in as she saw Spike fly over the bed, landing against the wall and floor simultaneously. "So, B," Faith said, bouncing up to her feet and into fighting stance, "got yourself a new vampire, huh? Funny, thought Angel would be around forever. So what you ran him off? Couldn't handle his lover being the Slayer? I told you it wouldn't work."

Buffy tried to ignore what her mouth was saying. "Angel left to protect me!" she hissed, matching the other girl's stance. "And you have no idea what you're talking about." _If I hit her, I'm really hitting myself. Man, this is horrible._ Faith was the first to come forward, as usual, with fists swinging. Luckily, Buffy already had the device in hand so all she had to do was get her pinned and everything would be right in the world.

Buffy tried thinking about all of the moves she knew verses the ones she knew Faith knew. Then she had an epiphany. As the two dealt blows, Buffy slowly switched her fighting styles. She knew Faith had never fought a particular opponent that she had and she was going to use that to her advantage. She stopped thinking with her instincts and more with her brain. It was like chess, like Giles and Willow were always trying to teach her. She had to anticipate her enemy's moves, know them before they knew them. She smiled as she saw Faith's mistake as she ducked instead of backing up and her roundhouse kick landed firmly in her right ribs. Faith flew into the wall and Buffy immediately seized her, grabbing her hand. The next thing she knew, she was under Faith, who seemed to be dazed at the transition. Buffy could see as the haze was slowly leaving her eyes, and she quickly flipped them over. "Spike!" she called over her shoulder, keeping Faith pinned under her. "I could use a little help."

"Boyfriend's knocked out," Faith laughed. "Guess he's not as strong as you think. Don't really see how he compares to Angel unless you and he can fu—"

"No. We don't," she said, punching the girl's face. She jumped off her, and threw the switcher on the ground, crushing it under her boot's heel.

"No!" Faith yelled, reaching for the broken pieces. "You bitch!" Buffy watched as Faith tried to jump her but failed as Spike pushed her into the wall.

"You're one to talk," he said, knocking her out. He sighed as he stood and dusted himself off. He grabbed his shirt from the floor and slid it back on, and Buffy found herself sad by the fact he was hiding himself.

"Thanks," Buffy blushed.

"How ya feel?" Spike asked, picking Faith up and chaining her back to the bed.

"Like Buffy. Great aside from that kick I gave myself. Well... you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I saw you. Those moves you did. That's not your normal style."

"I learn a lot easier than people think I do," she smiled. She winced as a sharp pain flooded from the left side of her face.

"Careful," he said, caressing her quickly bruising cheek. "So, where did you learn those moves?"

"From the only person who knows how to fight as well as I do." When he looked at her curiously. "You, dummy. I used to be a cheerleader. I can learn routines and techniques easier than saying my ABCs backwards." She stuck her chest out in pride. That was something she could always be proud of. She could learn moves faster than Willow could decode an encryption.

"You were a cheerleader?" he asked, curling his tongue behind his teeth in a way that made her tremble.

"Yeah. In junior high and high school. I think I may even have a Sunnydale High uniform still. I think I got blood on it and couldn't get it out." She was thoughtful for a minute, trying to remember if she did still have it.

"You slayed in that uniform?" he asked, raising his eyebrows too.

"Well, yeah. It's not like I can tell demons to hold on so I can change clothes," she laughed, incredulously.

"Depends," he grinned.

"On what?" she asked, not really listening.

"On if you let them watch," he laughed. She knew she blushed horribly because his smile only broadened.

"You're such a pig, Spike!" !" she laughed, swatting his arm. Buffy turned and looked back to Faith, who was unconscious on the bed with both arms and legs chained. "So, what are we going to with her?"

"I dunno, pet. 'magine the police are after her."

"Council, too. Honestly, I don't want the Council to get her. If the police can get her first, I don't think they can weasel their way in to get her out of a jail. I think it's the best thing for her, really. Maybe she'll accept the fact she needs help."

"Right. So what do we say about the chains?"

"They're the only thing strong enough to keep her from hurting us, or herself. We can say that they're ours if it comes to that," she smiled suggestively.

"Knew you could be that kind of woman," he laughed.

"I just have one question," Buffy said, looking at him intently.

"What's that, love?"

"What'd you do to her? Earlier? To make her fall asleep?"

"A little thing I learn from an old... friend. Dru can do it, too, though she's better at it than I am. I can only do it to the weak minded."

"So, what? It was some kind of mind control?"

"Somethin' like that, yeah," he shrugged.

"Have you ever done it to me?" she asked, suddenly scared.

"No! No, God, no. I said only the weak minded. You're anything but..."

"Then why did it work so well with her?"

"Not sure," he shrugged as they walked into the main room. He bent to pick up his jacket and continued talking. "Maybe it was because she wasn't in her own body and, like Tara said, her aura was jumbled. Maybe it was because she's not as strong as you. Who knows?"

"Oh... Well, that makes sense. Guess we better go to Giles' and call the cops?"  
"Yeah, guess so."


	18. Chapter 17

"Well, that was weird," Buffy said as they left the ice cream parlor.

"You're telling me," Willow said as she walked beside her friend.

"Jonathon's whole, I'm super awesome you should practically worship me, spell was insane. I mean, yeah I've always wanted to be a superhero but I've— okay maybe a little," Xander mumbled.

"Yeah, but you've never actually done it. He's kinda powerful for such a small guy," Willow commented. "I wonder where he learned to do such a huge glamor. I've tried to do some small ones, but they never lasted more than a few hours, even with Tara's help. There's no telling how long he kept that up."

"Envious, much?" Buffy laughed as they walked.

"Kinda," she said truthfully. "I know I'm pretty strong as far as magicks go, and hopefully, this summer, I can get a little stronger."

"This summer? What're you gonna do, train with Giles?" Xander asked with a chuckle.

"No, I'm going to England. Remember, I'm doing that study abroad stuff?"

"What?" Xander exclaimed, choking on the ice cream he'd just taken a big bite of.

"I told you weeks ago, Xander!"

"No. No. I would have remembered! You're going to England? You're going to leave me? And Buffy, and Tara, and Giles?"

"Um, well, Tara's coming, too. And Giles said he'd visit..." Willow said, shirking away from his glare.

"So it's just me and Buffy and Anya... Oh boy..." he said with faux enthusiasm.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Buffy asked mid lick. "I can be fun! It's me, Buffy, best friend for four years. You know I can be fun!"

"I know you can, Buff... It's not that . It's just—"

"It's just that he doesn't like how much time you've been spending with Spike," Willow interjected.

"Seriously?" Buffy asked.

"I don't like him. You know that," Xander said.

"Yeah, I know. He's not particularly fond of you either, but he deals because of me. Can't you do the same?" she asked, all joking aside.

"No. Not yet. I don't trust him. Not after what he's put us through," he said honestly.

"I can understand that," Buffy said, nudging him lightly with her elbow. "It's okay if you don't like my boyfriend. We're still iffy with Anya, so it's only fair."

"Wait, what? What's wrong with Anya?" he asked.

"Um, she killed, eviscerated, and goodness knows what else!" Willow exclaimed.

"But she's human now! She's different."

"Spike's changing, too," Buffy said quietly. "I know it's not completely the same, because he's a vampire, but he's different now." They were all quiet as they walked, their ice cream almost completely forgotten.  
"We have a weird choice in significant others," Willow said confidently.

"Least yours is human," Buffy joked.

"Well, Angel and Spike for you. Oz, and Tara. Then mummy girl, praying mantis lady, Cordelia, Anya..."

"Hey, Cordy was human!"

"Yeah, okay," the girls said with a smile.

"Hey, so there's a party on campus this weekend. You guys wanna go?" Willow asked.

"Sure, I'm up for a party."

"I can't. Anya's been complaining that we haven't been spending enough time together."

"So you want to spend it cooped up in your parents' basement?" Willow asked as they threw the melted cups of cream away.

"No, we were going to go to her apartment."

"She has an apartment?" Buffy asked, wondering why this was news to her.

"Yeah. She's had it since high school. She kind of needed a place to stay since she wasn't a demon. Apparently it's not hard to get one on the Hellmouth."

"So why don't you have one?" Willow asked. "Your current place isn't exactly ideal with the bleach or cat pee smell. Do you even have a cat?"

"Don't think it's cat pee..." he said quietly.

"Ewww..."

"So yeah, I'll be there," Xander said bashfully.

...

Buffy waved as she left her friends to stop by Spike's crypt. She knocked on the mausoleum door and entered when she heard Spike shuffling around.

"Still not used to you knocking, pet," he laughed as she walked in, shutting it behind her.

"Yeah, well I still feel bad for keeping you chained to a bathtub," she said as she walked into his open arms, sitting in his lap.

"You can keep me chained up as long as you like as long as you don't leave me there alone," he smiled.

"As long as I can help it, you won't ever be alone," she said seriously, pressing her forehead to his temple.

"That's nice to hear," he agreed, turning his head to kiss her lightly. He pulled away as she tried to deepen it, leaving her confused.

"Spike," she whispered as one hand stroked the soft hair at the back of his neck.

"Yes, Buffy?" he asked.

"Why won't you kiss me?" To prove a point, he kissed her as he previously did. "Smart aleck," she said. "You know what I mean. You've kissed me better than that before. Why not now?"

"You sayin' I don't kiss you well enough?" he asked, his eyes sparkling with worry.

"No, that's not what I'm saying. I'm wondering why you won't kiss me like you did when we were—under that spell. Or how you kissed Faith."

Spike sighed as he looked into Buffy wide, wondrous eyes. "I don't want to lose control... It's harder than you know... It's hard not to—" he cut himself off, struggling to find the right words.

"Not to what?" she asked, leaning forward more to put their foreheads together.

"Not to just take you, pet. I want to. I want you, so, so badly. But I can't do that. I won't. Hell, I'm still trying to convince you not to be with me."

"Yeah, that still doesn't make sense. But if you want me so bad, why don't you just take me?" she asked, wiggling intentionally in his lap.

Spike groaned as he tried to ignore what his body wanted to do. "Slayer," he growled in her ear. "Stop. I do want you, but I'm not going to take you."

"What if I took you then?" she asked, turning to straddle his lap. She linked her arms around his neck and pressed her torso to his. She kissed him as deep as he would allow until she mentally became fed up with his lack of participation. She kissed across his cheek, nibbling his ear and neck until she found his jugular and let her teeth graze his skin roughly.

"Buffy," he moaned quietly. He could not stop his eyes from rolling back in his head, eager for her to stop and not to at the same time.

"Just tell me what to do, Spike. Just tell me, and I'll do it," she whispered against his skin.

Her words brought him out of his haze quicker than a cold shower—not that that would actually help him anyway, begin a vampire and all. He opened his eyes and slowly pushed Buffy away from him. "Buffy, love, please stop," he pleaded, eyeing her intently.

"What? Why?" she asked, her face flushed.

"Because, that's what I want. Can't we just talk?" he asked. She didn't answer. Instead, she removed herself from his lap and began to pace around his crypt. "Buffy, what's gotten in to you?"

"Nothing. Nothing's gotten in to me. I just don't understand. I know you've changed lately, but this just isn't like you. You don't flirt with me. You don't throw out random innuendos! I don't— UGH!" she groaned. "I mean, before the engagement, you would always do stuff like that, and it would frustrate me to no end, and not when I want you to, you don't! What is that, Spike?" she asked, facing him, arms out to accentuate her question.

"I don't know what to tell you," he said quietly, looking down at his feet.

"Well, find out! I want to be with you. But I want to feel like I'm wanted, too. Whenever you decide you want to talk, you know how to find me." With that, she stormed out of the crypt, leaving a very upset Spike, sulking in his recliner.

It wasn't that he didn't want her. She should know that. He just didn't know if he should actually tell her he loves her, that he'd do anything for her, and her friends. So what was he supposed to do? Go back to flirting shamelessly with her and make innuendos? No, it had to be something else. He just had to figure out what.

...

It had been three days—nights—since Buffy ran out on Spike. She hadn't even had time to tell him about the party at Lowell House, which just so happen to be Riley's "fraternity" house. It's not like Spike would come here anyway, especially since she knew the entire Initiative was looking for him. Which is why it surprised her to see him walk through the door. Although she had at the time been dancing with Xander—with Anya's pitied permission—she quickly jolted through the crowd and to his side. "What're you doing here?" she asked.

"Look, I'm sorry if you're still upset with me, but we need to get out of here," he replied, looking carefully around the room.

"Yeah, you're telling me! This is the Initiative's main base. You know all the commandos live here and are still looking for you, right?"

"I don't care. I had to see you. And we need to leave. Now." He turned quickly and tried to pull her from the house.

"Why?" she asked, following out of the house.

"The house is dangerous," he said, trying to get her as far away from the house as possible.

"Yeah, it's not like all the beefy guys in there are looking for you or anything," she replied sarcastically, jerking her arm away from him.

"No, I mean it's possessed. And you really think those guys are beefy?" he said, his voice full of self-doubt.

"Don't worry about them. What do you mean 'possessed'? Like with ghosts?"

"Yes, pet. Ghosts. Evil spirits trying to break free."

"How do you know that?"

"Because... I could feel them. Vampire senses and all," he shrugged.

"Uh huh... Right, well, I have to get my friends out of there," she said, turning to do just that.

"No, you—"`

"What? Are you going to tell me that I can't go get them. They're my friends, Spike. I'm not going to let them stay in there," she said resolutely.

"I was going to say you can't go alone."

"Spike, there's tons of people in there. I'll be fine. You stay here. I don't want you getting caught."

"I'm not going to stay here," he said just a moment too late. She was already back inside the building.

"Hey, guys, we need to get out of here," she said as she approached Willow, Xander and Anya.

"Why? What's wrong?" Willow asked.

"Something's not right in here. Slayer sense," she said lamely. Thankfully they seemed to buy it.

They were almost out the door when a hand landed on Buffy's shoulder. She turned instinctively, almost flipping the hand's owner over. She turned to see Riley who had seemed to be talking to her animatedly. "—didn't know you'd be here," she heard him say.

"Hi, Riley. Yeah, we're just leaving. Er—Giles needs us," she lied.

"Oh," he said, clearly disappointed. "Anything I can help with?"

"No, no, no. It's nothing big. Just umm—"

"A surprise party for a friend of mine," Willow interjected with a smile.

"Oh, okay..." Just as they were about to turn to face the door, half the crowd flooded out of the door, screaming about ghosts and something strange happening upstairs. Buffy almost rolled her eyes just because Spike was right. She really hated when that happened. Riley immediately ran up the steps, fighting his way through the stragglers. Buffy, on the other hand, turned her friends and herself toward the door. Following behind them, Buffy was suddenly thrown backwards as soon as Xander was out of the door. The trio turned to see what happened to their friend, each trying to come back into the house.


	19. Chapter 18

"Buff!" Xander yelled as he tried for a fourth time to enter the door. "Something's not right. It won't let me in!" He proved his point by banging his fists against the invisible barrier that kept them out.

Buffy stood from where the door had thrown her, and she tried again, a little more sensible this time. Carefully, she stuck out her hands and approached the door, feeling the barrier get strong the closer she tried to get. It looked like the same barrier that prevented vampires from entering homes they haven't been invited in to. She tried pushing through, but felt the barrier hold tight. "I can't get out. Looks guys, Spike said something about the house hau—" the door slammed in their faces, effectively cutting off her sentence. "Haunted!" she screamed. "He said it's haunted!"

"The house is what?" Willow yelled, but she couldn't hear anything from the other side.

"To Giles?" Xander asked.

"To Giles," the two girls agreed.

Buffy sighed as she collapsed against the door, pulling her skirt down as it threatened to rise higher. "Of freakin' course..." she mumbled, smacking her head against the door.

"I tried to get you out, pet," Spike said as he walked out of the shadows. He smirked as Buffy almost jumped out of her skin.

"Jesus, Spike. Why do you always have to do that?" she chastised. "You scared me."

"Haven't been able to do that in a while, Slayer," he grinned, offering her a hand. She hesitated a moment before grabbing his hand. He hauled her up harder than she expected, tripping on the rug and fell flush against his chest. "'ello, pet," he grinned, helping her straighten up.

"Thanks," she replied, stepping back, and fixing her clothes. "Now, why was it so important that we get out of here?"

"Because the place is haunted. Ghosts, and whatnot," he shrugged, slowing stepping toward her.

"Okay. I've handled haunted before. What makes this one different?" she asked, backing up at his advance.

"It—draws power... from the inhabitants," he breathed heavily, following her steps until she was against the door once again.

"So, um, it gets stronger... if the people here are strong..?" she asked, running her hands over his chest.

"'s the idea, love," he mumbled, pressing close enough he could feel her breath on his skin. He felt her heart rate and breathing increase, and he knew if he had a heart, his would be beating out of his chest. Only out of habit did his chest rise to meet hers. He lowered his head and easily captured her mouth with his own.

She kissed him back with much enthusiasm, linking her arms around his neck. He pushed against her harder while his hands travelled over her body. One reached the edge of her skirt and he gently pushed it up, his fingertips leaving a trail of goose bumps over her thigh. He grabbed her thighs and picked her up, pushing her tight skirt up to her hips.

Remembering she had to breathe, he let go of her mouth and left long, open-mouthed kisses along her neck. He smiled as she let out a throaty moan. He rubbed himself against her, and whispered, "God, love. Want you. Need you."

"Spike..." she moaned. "Want you, too. So, so bad," she mumbled as he nuzzled her neck. "More..."

"Whatever you say, Buffy," he said. Spike moved his hands across her body, touching every inch of her he could. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he knew he should stop. Something wasn't right. "We should stop," he said, not still touching her intently.

"You're right," she nodded, lowering her head to kiss his neck. She nibbled lightly and smiled as she felt his body tremble against hers. Something told her that this wasn't right. Spike wouldn't normally act like this, and neither would she. But something else said not to worry about it. With that, she pulled her head back, and looked into Spike's eyes for the first time that evening. Their normal shining blue held a dark haze that she had never seen before. She wanted to take him then and there, but she knew it wasn't the time or place. They were still in Riley's front room for goodness sake. "Spike, stop," she said, her head clearing of the fog it had been under.

He looked at her with concern before allowing her to be removed from his hold. She stood, straightening her skirt and blouse. Spike stepped closer, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, and she got the overwhelming need to kiss him again. Apparently, he had gotten the same feeling because in less than a second his lips were attached to hers. As he released them to let her breathe, she was panting. "Stop, stop, stop..." she said, trying to back away again.

"What is it, pet?" he asked, holding a hand out.

"No," she rejected, running around him to the other side of the room. "You stay there. Whenever you get close, I just... can't control myself..." she mumbled.

"Not complainin'..." he replied, walking towards her.

"Spike, no! Don't you feel it? Don't you feel like you shouldn't be doing this?"  
"The only thing I feel is to make love to the girl I'm in love with," he said proudly.

"I... I know that... But don't you feel something pushing us?" She started to pace, trying to figure this out, like it was a puzzle. "It's the house," she said suddenly. "It has to be."

"I told ya it's possessed," Spike said, not looking at her either.

"I'm sorry," she said, looking at the sad look on his face.

"For what?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

"For not believing you," she said, subconsciously stepping forward. "For attacking you."

"You didn't attack me," he said, doing the same.

"Well, I'm sorry for making you feel bad. It's just—"

"Buffy? Is that you?" Riley asked from the top of the stairs.

"Hide!" Buffy hissed to Spike. "Yeah, Riley. It's me. I got trapped in. I can't open the door."

"Yeah, I don't know what's going on," he said, coming down the steps toward her. Buffy watched wide-eyed at Spike who was ducking into a closet under the stairs. She desperately hoped Riley wouldn't have the same reaction to her that Spike did. That would be weird.

"I think I do. Do you have a computer I could borrow? One with internet?" she asked.

"Yeah, sure." He walked into the house's dining area and pulled out a laptop from the bookshelf. Who would suspect a computer to be there?

She chuckled to herself, and thanked him for the computer. She sat on the clean portion of the couch and turned it on, quickly going to her e-mail to message Willow. Surely, she would check it soon. _Will, the Lowell House is haunted. I'm in here with Spike and Riley, and God, I hope they don't run into each other. Don't tell the others, but it's so hard to be away from Spike right now. Something about the house makes us drawn to each other, in _that_ way. _She finished the message quickly and hit send. She wasn't a computer wiz like Willow, but quickly, she deleted the message and her history, thankful that she had been taught that much. While she had the computer, she may as well try to see if she could find anything useful about the house. "Do you know anything about the history of this place?"

"Well, before it because part of campus, it used to be an children's home."

"A children's home?"

"Well, not really kids. Most of the occupants were teenagers."

_Explains the raging hormones,_ she thought. She typed _Lowell House, Sunnydale_ into the search bar, and aside from the directions to where she already was, there wasn't much else. But, Riley's story was confirmed. "It says the woman who ran it is still alive. Maybe Willow can talk to her..." As soon as the words left her mouth, Buffy regretted saying it.

The house's power failed. _Oh, shit..._ Buffy thought. _It's hard enough being in the same room with a guy who likes me, but it's worse because now there aren't any lights. And Spike's like ten feet away and he can see really well in the dark because he's a vampire, but we're also in the house that holds the Initiative, and they desperately want to find him. It's kinda funny that he's literally right under their nose._ Her mind rambled, and she was thankful that she had the sense to not say any of that aloud.

She could see Riley's silhouette a few feet away, and it made her nervous. Instead of walking towards her, like she really hoped he wouldn't, he reached for his walkie. . "Commander, this is Agent Finn. Power is down in the main house. Initiate backup generators," he said with authority. She could tell he was smiling sheepishly at her, but it only made her shiver unpleasantly.

"Denied, Finn. We're picking up a strange reading, but we are unable to initiate generators."

"Is it an HST?" he asked quickly. Buffy felt her heart beat rapidly, and she frantically wanted to find Spike. _Please say 'no'. Please say 'no.'_

"Unconfirmed. Who is in the house?"

Riley was silent for a moment, looking at Buffy closely. She could feel his eyes on her, and she was curious to why he didn't answer immediately. She wondered if there was something she was supposed to know but didn't. Why was Riley acting so strangely?

"Agent Finn, who all is in the house?" the voice repeated.

"Myself and Buffy Summers, sir. It seems everyone else was able to get out."

Both ends were quiet for a lot longer than Buffy wanted. It made her nervous, and she really needed something to hold onto that she wouldn't break easily.

"Affirmative. Do you need assistance?"

"Negative, sir. Just a little light would be nice," he said with a smile.

_And internet! I need internet!_ Buffy's mind yelled at him. She really didn't trust herself to speak. She wondered what Spike was up to in the closet. She stared at the computer screen, wishing she could still communicate with her friends. Just as she was about to close the contraption, she noticed a small window in the bottom corner. It was an email! How was it she still had a connection? She thought about it and realized that the computer probably ran off of the government satellites. She stiffened in her seat, and was almost overcome by anguish. What if they had intercepted her last email? What if they knew Spike was there? They could come capture him, and then where would they be?

Reluctantly, she opened the email. It wasn't anything she didn't already know. All Willow had said was what she found during her brief search. _I don't see how research would really help. Go to the woman's house, and talk to her. Maybe she can give you some idea to fix this. I have to get out of here. I can feel Riley looking at me, and it's so strange. Just hurry. Please!_ She repeated the process before, and closed the computer, allowing her eyes to adjust to the darkness around her.

"I didn't realize the internet was through a satellite," she said nonchalantly.

"How did you—"

"The power's out. There aren't any wires hooked up, so it's not through the phone lines. The only other option is a digital connection."

"I often forget how observant you can be," he said walking towards her. Buffy stood from her seat and began to look around, using the lights from outside the house to see. She couldn't see much, but enough not to trip over everything. "How can you see? I can barely see my hand in front of my face."

"I guess it's a Slayer thing. It dark, but I can see outlines." She felt the pull of Spike from the closet, and she would be lying if she said she didn't want to go in there with him and just do whatever came to mind. But she knew she shouldn't. Something about that was just bad. Very, very bad. It had to do with the stupid haunted house she was in. _Stupid spirits,_ she thoughts. _Not that there's anything wrong with you!_ Her thoughts said rapidly as not to infuriate them. _It was probably that woman that did this to you. I could only imagine what it would be like, living in the same house with someone you love, but no way to get out or to do the things you really want to do._ She sighed quietly and walked away from the door she had approached. "It won't be long," she whispered, only loud enough for Spike to hear her. She hoped that the cameras that were around this place were offline too.

For a terrifying moment, she wondered if the lab was without power, too, and if the demons had possibly gotten loose. "Riley!" she said quickly, turning to look at the large man.

"What? What is it?" he asked, rushing to her side.

"The—the lab. Since the power is out up here, does that mean—"

"No, no. The lab is fine. It pulls power from several different areas, so that if something like this were to occur, it still has all the energy it needs to run efficiently."

"Oh." She realized how close their proximity was, not only to each other, but also to the door that held Spike's concealment. She could feel Riley's breath on her skin, and she didn't like it. He had her in a corner. "Riley, what are you doing?" she asked quietly, looking at him nervously.

He didn't say anything as he slowly brought a hand to her face. He cradled it gently, and as she tried to move away, she found that she couldn't. She couldn't even move. Why is it that she couldn't though? _Fight this, Buffy! You have to! _He leaned down, placing his lips on hers. _No!_ Her head screamed. She tried to tell him to stop, to tell him to move away. She was at least able not to move her lips, but it didn't seem as though it would matter. He became powerful, forcing her mouth to respond but she stood motionless against the wall and against him. He kissed down to her neck, and she tried moving away, but to no avail. His hands were around her waist, clinging to her, frantic for a response. She finally whispered a single word before she sank against the wall, and everything went black.


	20. Chapter 19

Spike could hear them on the other side of the door. It angered him that they would even think about this. _How could she? _He thought angrily. _This is what you get! You should've been more like your old self. More assured. More sexual. That's what she wanted. She told you that... but I can't do that. I can't take her. I can't lose control..._ He listened to their movements and he could hear his lips moving, and his hands tightening her grip. That's when he heard it. A small sound that barely anyone could hear. He waited, just to see if it would happen again. "Stop," Buffy said.

With all his rage and strength, he flung the door open, effectively knocking Riley away from Buffy. His fists began to flail and only stopped once the man had lost consciousness. Immediately, Spike looked to Buffy. She was sitting against the wall with her head hung in the most uncomfortable manner. "Buffy," he said, shaking her slightly. "Wake up, luv."

She didn't respond. He scooped her in his arms and began looking around. He couldn't leave her on the couch, mainly because it was covered in various debris from the earlier party, and also because it would give Capitan Cardboard another chance to take advantage of her. Downstairs was the lab, and he most definitely did not want to go there. So, he headed up the stairs. He bypassed the mirror and came to the first room that had a bed in it. He laid her down gently, locking the door behind him. He really did not want the man to have another chance to get near her. He walked to the window, and tried to open it, but was unable to. He grabbed the nearby chair and slung it against the glass only to have it reverberate from the impact. Nothing happened.

"Dammit!" he cursed, sitting angrily on the mattress. He took in unneeded breaths to calm himself. He wanted to get out of this godforsaken building, but he also wanted to make love to his girl, and that feeling seemed to be stronger. He pulled his boots off and laid down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her, relishing in her body heat. He really missed the warmth of her being at his side. He missed the warmth of being human. Slowly, he felt himself drift out of consciousness.

...

They had a feeling they were asleep. Not an actual feeling, just a hunch. Something in their guts told them so. They could feel their bodies touching the blankets of the stranger's bed. They could feel the other pressed against them, and the uneasiness that was creeping upon them was suddenly thrown aside.

"I need you," they whispered as they faced each other. They clung to the other as if their life was in the others' hands. Skin recklessly found skin, peeling the useless clothing aside. "Don't stop," they muttered as their mouths moved with each other. "Need you. Want you. Don't stop touching me." A never-ending mantra of desire.

_Need to stop,_ they thought fearfully. _Not right. Have to stop. Need to wake up._ The determination of stopping died as their mouths met again impatiently. They moaned impulsively as the sensations spread throughout their bodies, like lightning through the sky. It struck every nerve and only threatened the urge to go further.

"Need to stop," one of them whispered, trying to push the other away. Wrists were caught and held by strong hands. Lips found their mates once again, and arms tangled. "We do. Have to stop," the other murmured... Neither did much to try. The force, the need was too powerful.

Something clicked in their minds, and somehow, they knew they weren't dreaming. Dreams could never be this potent. The desire was too intense for something as mundane as a dream. Their eyes met, and they knew. They needed to stop or else something bad would happen. With a quick burst of speed, they were on opposite sides of the increasingly shrinking bed.

...

"So this totally adds to my 'old people are crazy' theorem," Xander said as they left Ms. Holt's home.

"I don't like old people. Except for Giles and Joyce. They're nice. I like them. And the old people that come in the store to buy many things for lots of money," Anya said in a very chipper manner.

"So, find Giles?" Willow asked, looking at her friends.

"Yeah. Hopefully Buffy was in there alone, or else this could be really bad," Tara said frightfully.

"Hey, Buff's a big girl. She can handle some stupid, horny teenage— oh, God..." Xander trailed. "We better hurry."

"Why? What's with the sudden rushiness?" Willow asked.

"I just remembered who was in there with her," he said grimly.

"W-who?"

"Riley. AND Spike." The group grew wide-eyed and ran toward the Espresso Pump.

...

_Finally, some peace, _Giles thought as he began to strum. He loved that motley bunch of teenagers as if they were his own, but bloody hell. Was it too much to ask for a day, or night, off occasionally? _Yes. If Buffy can't have a night off, than neither can you_, he chastised himself as he began to sing. He wasn't even halfway through the song before he noticed four of the five entering the shop, staring at him slack jawed and flabbergasted. He groaned internally and finished the song.

"Hullo," he said nonchalantly.

"Giles, Buffy's in trouble," Willow said hesitantly.

"Superb. What is it now?"

"Poltergasms!" Xander exclaimed. He ducked his head as he realized how loud that had been. Giles simply removed his glasses and massaged the bridge of his nose. Sometimes he wished he didn't know the outrageous boy.

"Would you care to explain in terms I can actually comprehend?" the elder man said, suppressing a chuckle.

"First half—polter—as in poltergeist. Second half—gasms—as in..."

"Yes, I understand that particular point, Anya. Is Buffy possessed?"

"Kinda," Willow said quietly. "We were at that party, and then people started acting strangely. We found out that the building used to be an orphanage, of sorts, in the sixties. The woman that ran it said she used to punish the kids. If the girls spent "too much time" on their hair, she'd cut it all off. And if they weren't being pure, she'd baptize them in the bathtub, and now there's this massive amount of pent up sexual anxiety in the house, and Buffy's kinda trapped with Spike. And Riley." Her rambling caused her to be breathless, but at least the worst part is over with.

"Well, it seems as though you have figured out everything. For what do you need me?

"We can't get in to help! There are vines and a magical barrier preventing anyone from getting in. We tried," Xander said.

"It sounds as though you need to do a sort of exorcism."

"Y-yes, sir. I already know a spell to do that, but we need someone else who is strong in the magicks," Tara explained.

"Ah. I see. Alright," Giles sighed and turned away from the shop.

"Where are we going?" Anya asked.

"We're going to the Magic Box to get the supplies we need. You two can run along, and try to get in. We'll meet up with you shortly," he said, nodding to Xander. The pair ran toward the Lowell House, neither knowing quiet what to do once they arrived. "Now, Tara, dear, what are we going to need for this?" Tara smiled and began naming ingredients to assist in the spell.

...

They felt the pull of the other being so close, but neither moved. They we both biting the sheets forcefully, knowing that if they opened their mouths to say anything, it would be over, and they wouldn't be able to stop. _Hurry,Will. Please, _Buffy begged internally.

Spike could feel her body heat from the few feet away, and it didn't help that he could smell her, too. Her unwanted arousal, her skin, her blood... He gripped the edge of the bed so tight he felt as though something would pop out of place if someone were to hit him across the knuckles. _Hurry up, Red._

Neither said a word. Neither had to. They knew what they had to do, but they knew what the spirits wanted them to do. It was the worse form of torture either had ever endured.

...

The group was surrounding the house now. Xander and Anya had finally made their way inside, with the help of Giles' chainsaw, though no one knew why he actually had one. They didn't notice the unconsciously Riley at the side of the stairs. They barreled up as safely as they could. Xander was thankful only one door was closed. It'd be weird to have the entire Initiative find that all of their doors had been sawed in half. Xander turned the machine off and immediately put his ear to the door. Nothing. "Buffy!" Xander yelled as he banged on the door. "Buff, can you hear me?"

Outside, the remaining three formed a circle, each repeating a simple chant. "Spiritus derelinquere locum istum. Sine amicis nostris erit. Repeiro in pace tua. Oramus etiam ... Invenire in cordibus vestris amicis nostris relinquere locum. Dolorem ipsum transformet. Dimitte vostra. A depto super eam".

Tara translated the words in a rough translation. "Spirits, leave this place."

"Let our friends be," Giles continued.

"Find your peace," Willow said softly.

"We implore you. Be still."

"Find it in your hearts to leave our friends passage."

"Transform your pain. Release your past... And, um... get over it!" Willow yelled in culmination. They felt a ripple spread from them to the house, and they only hoped it worked. "Did it work?" the redheaded witch asked.

"Let's go see," Giles said as they approached the house.

...

They felt the pull lessen. They managed to open their eyes and were actually amazed to find that they were each completely clothed and lying in the position they had "fallen asleep" in.

"Buffy!" Xander yelled as he burst through the door.

Buffy jumped in surprise. "Don't you know how to knock?" she asked. The four exchanged incredulous glances.


	21. Chapter 20

"So, what happened?" Willow urged as she and Buffy sat down at Giles' a few days later.

"Nothing, I swear," Buffy answered.

"Why was Riley unconscious?" Xander asked. "He looked pretty roughed up."

"I don't know. I remember we were talking about power going to the lab, and then he got all quiet and creepy. He kissed me. I couldn't move. I couldn't talk. It was horrible. I hated not being able to control my body like that."

"Buffy, if it makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to say anything else," Giles offered.

"Thanks, but it's okay. Really. I blacked out after that. Then, I came to, and I was on a bed, and I knew that Spike was with me. I felt like it was a dream, but a super powerful dream. I knew I wanted to—never mind. But we didn't. I thought we did, but when you broke the spell or whatever, I was still lying there, like nothing had happened. It was strange..."

"So, this is all conjecture, but I think what may have happened was that Spike got mad that Riley was trying to kiss you, and he beat him up. Then, he carried you upstairs to get away from him." Willow said simply.

"But he has that chip. He can't hurt anyone," Buffy defended.

"Maybe something in the house was able to disable it. Spike is clearly a stronger source of power. It only makes sense that the spirits would want him and Buffy to be together, rather than she and Riley," Anya said easily.

"That's a good point..." Tara agreed with a nod.

Buffy sighed and looked at her friends. They were looking at the others, talking animatedly about the events from the previous day. It was then a thought had occurred. "So, aside from the Lowell kids trying to screw me over," she winced internally at her choice of words, and realized the others had to, "it's been kind of slow in good ole Sunnydale. What's up with that?"

"I do believe it may be that thing that has all of the Initiative demons in an uproar about. 314," Giles replied.

"I really hope not. I could only image what Professor Walsh is doing down there. I mean, how weird would it be if she was making a Frankenstein monster from demon parts?" The whole group shuddered with revulsion. "I don't think I'm welcome anymore," Buffy said, bringing them out of their imaginations.

"Why ya say that?" Xander asked, taking a bite of a cookie he found hidden in Giles' cabinet.

"The other night, right after the power went out, I got this weird feeling from Riley, like he was hiding something. Will, you know this guy. He's about as covert as a you were as Vampire Willow."

"Hey, I thought I did pretty good!" Willow defended.

"You were a vampire?" Tara asked as she looked to her 'friend' through her eyelashes.

"Not really. It's a long story... But yeah, you're right. I could hack into their files. See what their hiding?" she offered.

"Can you do that without leaving a trail? I don't want you getting arrested for treason or anything."

"Sure. If Tara can do a relocating spell, it should be as easy as making cookies!"

"And less guilt-driven," Xander chuckled. Willow stuck her tongue out at her friend, but smiled nonetheless.

"Let's get rolling. I don't want to be surprised whenever whatever it is jumps out," Buffy said seriously.

Willow pulled out her computer and began to type furiously on her keyboard as Buffy's beeper went off. She scrunched her eyebrows together in confusion. "I forgot about this thing. Huh, looks like I'm needed at headquarters," she said without a drop of enthusiasm.

"Buffy, do be careful," Giles warned.

"Always," she said, taking a small dagger from her purse and tucked it into her ankle hostler.

...

"I knew it!" she said, barging into Giles' apartment later that evening.

"Knew what, pray tell?" he asked, setting his glass of amber liquid down.

"Walsh just tried to kill me. She said these two demons had escaped, which I thought was messed up to begin with because security down there is tighter than a fat man in spandex," she said with dull laugh.

"Buffy, this is serious! You shouldn't be laughing!"

"I'd rather laugh than cry right now," she said honestly. "Anyway, she gave me a faulty gun, which you know I hate those things anyway. But then, the gates to the sewers closed, and I knew she set me up. But I killed her little pretties, so that's one less thing to worry about," she scoffed.

"Are you alright?" Giles asked as he hugged her tightly.

She returned the hug and nodded against his chest. "Yeah. I just, I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow. Don't worry about me. Goodnight, Giles." And with that, she left the worried old man to his own devices.

Buffy walked through the town, jumping at the slightest noise. She didn't want to admit that Maggie Walsh had actually managed to get under her skin, but it was true. She found herself in her "favorite" cemetery, and cautiously approached the mausoleum door. She knocked lightly, and entered when she heard a response. "Hi," she said quietly.

"Hi," Spike said, standing from his seat to come to her side. "What's wrong?" he asked immediately. Unable to control herself, she threw herself into his open embrace and as they sank to the floor, she began to cry. Through the tears and seeming incoherent words, he managed to get the gist. "So, that blasted woman tried to kill you?" She nodded slightly, and he tightened his grip around her. "Told you to be careful, pet. You alright? You hurt?" She shook her head.

"I'm... I'm fine," she said hoarsely. I killed the two slasher demons. I don't understand why she decided to do that. I mean, I'm a great student. I don't ask _too_ many questions, and ultimately, I keep to myself."

"I don't think it's you, love. I think Army Boy may have been part of it..." he said grimly.

"You mean Riley? He wouldn't try to kill me. He likes me..."

"That's just it. Maybe Mother Hen thought you were occupying too much of his mind and decided to make her boy become more focused..."

"That—that actually makes sense. In a sick, twisted, evil sort of way."

"Well, ya know, Big Bad sitting here," he chuckled.

"Oh, yes. The evil Big Bad holding a crying Slayer as she tells you about someone else that tried to have her killed..." she giggled softly. After a quiet moment, Buffy's tone dropped to a whisper. "I trusted her. I knew going down there was dangerous. But, I didn't know... I shouldn't have led Riley on. Maybe if he knew that I wasn't interested, this wouldn't have happened."

"It's not your fault, pet. Swear. She's not a stable person. And don't for one moment think that you could have done something to keep that bloke from falling for you..." He stared into her eyes before gently kissing her lips, nose, and forehead. "It's alright, Buffy. I'm here..." She let him hold her until her eyes were sore from the tears.

...

The next morning, she awoke in Spike's arms, and it was the best feeling she had ever experienced. Of course, she had spent the night with Angel before, but this was different. He was warm, and comfortable, and didn't make her feel suffocated. His arms were wrapped protectively around her, and she loved it.

She felt him stir lightly and looked up to the solemn face that was inches away. She smiled and mumbled, "Good morning."

"Mornin', love," he replied, reaching a hand out to her face to stroke her cheek lightly. "How'd you sleep?"

"Best I have in a while. You?"

"Just fine..." he said as he kissed her temple. "Ya gonna talk to ya mates today? About what happened?"

"Umm-hmm," she said as she nodded against his bare chest. She mindlessly began stroking the muscles along his chest, tracing random patterns as she thought. "I still can't believe it happened. I always thought she liked me, but then she tried to kill me... Like _that_ hasn't happened enough," she scoffed.

"I know, pet. But maybe talkin' to the gang will provide a better understanding."

"You're right. You're always right," Buffy said.

"Damn straight," he said as he tilted her head up. He leaned down and kissed her lightly, and she desperately wished he would push her a little. She moved her tongue lightly against his lips, begging for entrance. To her surprise, he obliged with great fervor. He shifted swiftly until he was towering over her. He supported himself on his hands and knees but was close enough to feel her body's warmth. He groaned as she ran her fingers through his hair, but his mouth never left hers.

She finally broke away, needing oxygen terribly, and pushed her body against his as he moved his mouth to her neck. "Oh, god... Spike," she moaned as he nibbled on the junction of her shoulder and neck. She prayed this wasn't a dream. That would just be torture. Her hands slid down his naked back and she pulled him tightly to her. He chuckled and moved back to her lips.

"Is this what you wanted, Buffy?" he asked quietly, looking into her hooded eyes. She bit her bottom lip and nodded. "I could lose control at any moment. You're much too tempting for me... But you like that don't you? That brink? That possibility of not knowing what could happen?" His whispered these words against her ear and felt her shudder. She moaned, nodding, and pushed her body against his. "But you know I have to stop. For so many reasons. I have to." He pulled his body away, much to her disapproval.

He smirked as she whined in protest, but didn't stop moving away from her. He pulled a fresh shirt over his head as he tried desperately not to return to his bed and do things she would regret. "That was mean," she said, half teasing, half angrily.

"I'm sorry, love. Really, I am. But... I can't," he said, shaking his head in resolution.

"I know... I'm sorry, too. For provoking you... After Angel, I should know not to push vampires like that, but—"

He cut her off swiftly. In the blink of an eye, he was leaning atop of her again, glaring angrily at her. "Don't. Don't compare us. I am not him." And just as quickly, he was gone again. He sat on the edge of the bed with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"I'm sorry..." she said quietly. After a minute's silence, she finally gathered the courage to talk to him. "Can I ask you a question?"

"You just did," he chuckled.

"Smart ass."

"Sure, pet. What is it?" he asked, turning his head to look at her.

"The other day, when we were trapped in the house, what—what happened? After I passed out?" She chewed her bottom lip as she waited for a response, but refused to look at him.

"I heard you—him—kissing. I knew that if you didn't want that, then you would stop him... Why didn't you stop him?" he asked painfully.

"I... I couldn't. I tried pushing him away, but I couldn't move."

"Oh. Explains a bit, then. Anyway, I heard you tell him to stop, but he didn't, and that's when I charged out of the closet and started hitting him. After I realized he was out, I picked you up and took you upstairs, and away from him," he shrugged.

"Why didn't your chip go off?"

"My chip?" _Bugger. Forgot about that. Can't tell her I don't have it. But it works here, which is curious. Huh..._

"Yeah, the thing the Initiative put in your brain? Why didn't it fire?" she asked, looking at him curiously.

"Dunno. Maybe it was the house."

"Maybe," she said, lowering her gaze again. "What happened next?"

"Let's see... I put you on the bed, tried to open a window, and when that didn't work, I laid down beside you. Had a strange dream," he said, in almost a whisper.

"And in this—dream—what happened?"

"Well, I don't remember much," _liar._

"I had a dream, too. We were in the bed. I felt like I was asleep. But I don't know why. I knew you were there, and then I felt a strong _desire_ to touch you. All of you." He tried not to focus on her words and how he had felt the same thing. "I wanted you. No... I _needed_ you. I never wanted you to stop touching me, but I knew we had to stop. I knew it wasn't right." She was quiet again, but this time, her eyes were on his. "But that was the house, right?" she asked, breaking the silent spell between them.

"Yeah," he said hoarsely. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Yeah. The house..."

"So you didn't experience that? At all?" she asked pessimistically.

"Don't remember," he lied.

"Oh..." she got off the bed and slid her shoes and jacket on.

"Where're you going?" he asked, standing with her.

"To Giles. I probably freaked him out about yesterday, and I really need to clear the air. Besides, Willow's probably worried."

"Why would she—"

"I didn't tell them where I was going. I didn't really plan on coming here, so I didn't tell them. I just started walking, and this is where I ended up," she said, almost hatefully.

"Alright..." he said. He climbed the ladder and undid the latch that kept the block intact. He pushed it aside and promptly sat in his chair. _If she's going to be like that... well, two can play that game._

She was almost to the door when she turned to eye him angrily. "I'll see you later," she said. The sound of the door slamming echoed throughout the room, reverberating the tv on its stand, and Spike was momentarily frightened that his lone form of entertainment might be shattered before his eyes.


	22. Chapter 21

To say Buffy was pissed would be an understatement. She knew he was lying. She knew he had the exact same "dream" she did, but it just pissed her off that he had lied about the entire thing. It's not like he had anything to worry about. He already knew what it was about, so what was the big deal? She growled as she thought about this, and practically ran all the way to her dorm room. Willow wasn't there, but she had left a message, thankfully.

_Buffy, we're at Giles'. Hoping you'd be there. You didn't come in last night, and after I got that call from Giles, I was really worried. I called your mom's house, but there wasn't an answer. I guess she's on a trip again. Call us please. Love, Willow._

She quickly showered and changed clothes. Just as she pulled her clean shirt over her head, she said the small bruises that aligned her neck and collarbone. She hadn't even realized those had been there! She threw her tank top into a corner and grabbed a more modest shirt to cover the marks Spike had left on her days earlier. She didn't want her friends to get the wrong idea. One look at her clock revealed that it was almost noon, and that if she hurried, she'd be able to snag a few pieces of pizza before Xander ate them all.

Within minutes, she was at her old friend's apartment, and she wondered once again what his neighbors thought of these teenagers coming and going from here from all hours of the day. She shuddered at the possibilities. She walked in, without bothering to knock, and said hey to her welcoming friends who immediately questioned her about the previous day's attempt on her life. As she was Buffy, and these things happened more than she would like, she blew it off a lot easier than she thought it would be. A passing thought made her realize it was because she spent half the night crying in Spike's arms.

She grabbed a piece of pepperoni pizza as she looked to Giles' tv, which was now actually on, and she just had to bother the poor man. "Wow. Giles, you're actually using your tv? Welcome to the 90s," she joked.

He smiled and welcomed her laughter. "Yes, well, it is a good way to keep in touch with the outside world."

"So, what happened?" Xander asked.

"Well, I get beeped from Professor Walsh, and when I get there, she tells me these um... Polaris... No, that's not right... Pol—"

"Polgara?"

"Yeah, those! She says some of them escaped. So, Maggie sends me down into the sewers with one of those Blasto-guns. And the next thing I know, it's raining monsters," she said hysterically.

"Hallelujah," Xander joked.

"Wow. Just like that..." Willow said bewildered. "How are we going to face her Monday?" she gasped in horror

"Hey, check this out," Tara said as she turned the volume up.

"We're here, outside of Sunnydale, where there was a vicious murder. A little boy, who name has not been released, was found, and has appeared to be dissected. One wonders what kind of monster could do this? We'll have more at Channel Ten news at five."

"What happened to the funny little people?" Anya asked, looking to Xander for an explanation.

Ignoring the girl's cry for the return of the little cartoon people, Buffy felt sick. Her first though was that it was the Polgara. But something wasn't right. Polgaras seemed to like dark, dank places, like sewers. But this boy—he was found outside, in the bright, dry California sun.

"Giles," she said, breaking everyone's attention from the grisly description, "I think whatever was in 314 isn't there anymore..."

"What do you mean?" Willow asked quickly.

"I agree, Buffy. This looks like a Polgara attack. You said you had captured three, but how many did you fight last night?" Giles asked as his brows furrowed.

"Two. I know. We caught three. I killed two, so there's one more. But I saw them doing 'tests' on one. I'm pretty sure it was dead. Dr. What's-his-name was insistent that we didn't hurt their arms. I hate to say this, but I think Professor Walsh went all Dr. Frankenstein."

"That's why they've been gathering demons," Xander said, completely horrified. "They're making one macho demon. But what for?"

"The ultimate soldier. That's what every government wants... Oh god... I helped," Buffy said, putting her face in her hands. "I helped catch some of those things and now, it's killed a kid. Oh god..."

"Oh Buffy!" Willow exclaimed, rubbing her friends' back, attempting to be soothing. "You didn't know. I know that if you did, you wouldn't have done it. Don't—"

"Wills, please. Stop. That kid is dead, and it's partly my fault." She stood up abruptly and looked at her friends.

"Buff, where are you going?" Xander asked.

"I'm going after that thing," she said as she began towards the door. "It's my fault that boy is dead."

"Buffy, it's not your fault," Willow spoke up. "You don't need to go out there upset..."

"She's right," Giles began. "You mustn't blame yourself."

" I'm not going to. I'm going to the crime scene to see what I can find out. You guys research the Polgara demon, I want to know where it is. When I find this thing, I'm going to make him pay for taking that kid's life. I'll make him die in ways he can't even imagine," she said with finality. "And then, I'm going to take down the Initiative."

...

The hot sun bore on her skin as she cautiously approached the scene. She was thankful she couldn't see the boy from there, but it didn't stop her from looking around.

"I had a feeling you'd be here," a voice said from next to her. She turned to look at him, and realized it was none other than Riley Finn. Instinctively, she flinched away from him. She didn't say anything. "Well, if we're going to look around, may as well get a little close," he said, stepping over the police tape. He flashed an officer his ID and waved to Buffy to follow.

"How'd you do that?" she asked as she caught up to him.

"Military ranking. High security clearance. I'm allowed to look over most cases if I want. What do you usually do?"

"Sneak over when they're not looking, and think fast," she said with a shrug.

"Buffy," he said after a minute, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" she asked, looking around the boy's body.

"For what happened the other night at the party. And for Professor Walsh trying to—"

"Look, Riley. You don't have to apologize for her. She can do it herself," she huffed.

"Actually, she can't," he said quietly. "She was found early this morning. Dead. Same wound as him."

"Oh. I'm—I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"No. How could you? It's not like you were there," he said icily. She turned to him, wide-eyed.

"No, I wasn't," she replied harshly, not missing the malice in his tone. "I was with my friends. I didn't want to be alone after Walsh tried to kill me!" she snapped, resisting an urge to hit him.

"Some of the guys think it may have been you. Everyone knows how angry with her you were. Everyone heard you threaten her. You—" His words were cut off by a slap to the face.

"I would _never_ kill a human. I'm not that slayer!" she hissed. She turned and followed the prints leading away from the scene.

"Where are you going?" he called after her. No answer. He jogged after, repeating the question.

"You see these prints?" she asked, angrily pointing to the dusty ground. "It's a men's twelve, military issue. I wear a five, you wear a ten. The police don't wear these kinds of shoes. I'm following the nice little trail he left for us." Venom seeped through her words as she spoke. She was pissed, and she was scared. But mostly pissed. _How _dare_ he accuse me of killing them?_ her mind screamed. They soon became encased in a small wooded area. She slowly reached for the stake from the small of her back and quickly propelled it into a tree. It managed to lodge several inches into the tree. She tugged it out easily and faced the man behind her. "_That_ is what a stake hole looks like. Not what was in that boy. That would was too small to have been made with this," she said, twirling the piece of wood easily before slipping it back into its place. "I don't use guns. I use axes, and swords, and most importantly my stake. I kill demons, not humans. I'm not the one you or any of your buddies should be scared of. Yet. After I kill this monster, I'm bringing down the Initiative, and that's a promise, Riley Finn." Her words were and angry, and she made sure not to get too close to the man, or else she'd start hitting him, and she wasn't sure she'd be able to stop.

It was minutes before he spoke. When he did, he was a lot calmer than she anticipated. "What kind of monster do you think it was?"

"I—"

A slight rustling sound made them turn towards it. Before them was a grotesque creature. Green demon skin patched with light colored human skin and chrome machine parts. "Is that what I am? A monster?" it asked.

"Oh, god," Buffy whispered. "I was right."

"Who are you?" Riley asked, stepping between Buffy and... it.

"My name is Adam," it said mechanically.

**AN: I know it's a short chapter. Sorry! But I felt this was a good place to stop for now. I'm looking for a beta, so if you know of a good one, have them message me! Thanks for reading! Reviews are nice. :-)**


	23. Chapter 22

Buffy had never been as scared and horrified as she was right then. She looked at this thing, and tried not to empty her stomach right there. Instead, she glared into the monster's different colored eyes and asked, "Where did you come from?"  
"I was created by my mother, whom I believe you call Maggie Walsh," he answered, slightly cocking his head as to judge their reactions.

"She's dead," Riley said coldly, though Buffy knew it pained him to say it.

"I know," it said.

"You killed her. And the boy," Buffy said. It was clearly an accusation, not a question.

"Yes. You see, I was curious. About who I am. What is my nature?" he asked. She couldn't deny the curiosity in his voice. She could hear his eagerness to learn, and something else she couldn't place.

"You're a monster," she said icily.

"And man. And machine. That tells me _what_ I am, but not _who_ I am. Who am I, Riley?" he asked, turning to the man standing next to her.

"How do you know me?" Riley asked. They watched as Adam brought his human hand to his chest and pressed something. Buffy realized that it was a disk drive, like from a computer. This disk came out easily, and she watched as he pocketed the disk into his camouflaged army pants.

"Mother made us. She made you into the soldier you are. She made me into what I am. We are brothers." Adam grinned, but the gesture only made Buffy and Riley grimace. "You do not seem pleased."

"I'm just having some issues understanding Maggie," Riled replied as a mask of indifference came over his face.

"I see. I also see you are quite protective over this young female," he said, gesturing to Buffy. "Is she your mate?"

"We're humans, not animals. We don't 'mate,'" Buffy growled.

"No, Adam, she's not. She's an acquaintance. A colleague," Riley replied. He subconsciously moved between them once again.

"Are you scared of me?"

"No," they said simultaneously.

He grinned maliciously and stepped toward them. "You're lying to me. I can hear both of your hearts, pumping adrenaline through your body. I can almost smell the fear rolling off of you. Why are you scared of me?" he asked, stepping forward again.

"Instincts," Buffy said honestly. Her Slayer instincts were going berserk. She wanted desperately to kill this thing, this monster. He easily killed Walsh, the boy, and she prayed there wasn't anyone else. She looked at him and realized he was waiting for an explanation. "We're naturally scared of things we don't understand." That was the half-truth anyway.

"What are your instincts telling you? Right now?" he asked, taking another step.

"To fight." She straightened her shoulders and shifted her feet slightly into a subtle fighting stance.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Riley warned in a low voice. Buffy just glared at him. Riley backed away, from her, actually allowing her to come face to face with the creature called Adam.

"And why do you wish to fight me?"

"Because you're evil. And I don't let evil live around here very long." Immediately, she propelled herself into action. Throwing punches, forcing kicks, but nothing made contact. He blocked every move she attempted on him.

He chuckled as she tried to kick his chest. He easily caught her ankle and hauled her up. He used his other arm to grab her by the throat, and he grinned ass he tossed her into a nearby tree as if she were a rag-doll, and didn't spare her other glance. She groaned as her vision started to blacken, and she knew it was time to regroup. She strained to focus, and she felt a hand on her. It was much too gentle to be Adam and she grateful leaned against him as he helped her up. "Come on," he urged, tugging her alongside him. "We have to get going." She could barely see out of her peripheral. She could barely see Riley, but she knew he was there. It wasn't much longer before she felt him put an arm under knees, and her head was against his chest.

It was times like this that Buffy really hated the way she reacted to the creatures of the , Hellmouth. It was generally fight/kill now, ask questions later. Sometimes it worked, but in her current predicament, she knew it was a bad idea. She was wrapped in Riley's arms, lightly bouncing as he ran away from the monster because she had literally ran head first into a fight. A thought past through her mind that she really should rethink her strategies. Her head and chest were throbbing and she just really wanted to get back to Giles' apartment.

Somehow, Riley had managed to bypass the policeman, but she could really care less. She just wanted the sky to stop spinning. Buffy closed her eyes for just a second, and when she opened them, she was in a vehicle. Her ears were ringing, and she was having a difficult time keeping her eyes open. She could vaguely hear a mumbling and she felt something touch her. Her eyes focused on her leg, and she saw that it was a hand. She followed the hand up the owner's arm, to see Riley. She saw his mouth moving, but she couldn't make out what he was saying. "Riley," she tried to say, but her vocal chords wouldn't cooperate. Her throat was so dry.

Buffy tried once again to speak, but gave up when she realized he was talking to her. She forced her eyes to stay open, and she pushed herself to listen to what he was saying. "—fy! Sta... ake! Bu... Can... me? Buffy! Where... take you?"

"Huh?" she managed to groan out. He wasn't making any sense. And why was he talking like that?" She succeeded in pushing herself further into the seat.

"Buff... Where... take you? Keep... eyes open. Can you hear me?"

She looked around the front of the vehicle, looking for anything to wet her parched throat. She saw a bottle and grabbed it as easily as she could and chugged its contents. _Water,_ she sighed internally. _Hot, stale water. But still water._ "Yeah, I can now. What were you saying?" _Damn, my throat hurts. Feels like I have strep throat..._

"Where should I take you?"

"Giles'." She said. She reached up and flipped the visor down and saw herself in the tiny mirror. To say she looked rough wouldn't be enough. Of an explanation. Her hair was knotted from dirt, bark, and dried blood. Gashes on her faces were dried with blood, and while they were almost healed, they still hurt. She pulled down the collar of her turtleneck and grimaced as she saw the giant hand shaped bruise that was around her neck. The soreness in her throat would be gone shortly, but the mark would last several days. No wonder she couldn't speak very well.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Bad would be a severe understatement."

"I—I can't believe Maggie made him... It doesn't make sense," he said, trying to rationalize the situation.

"Can you believe she would try to kill me?" she said pointedly. He gave her a sad look, and mumbled something. She was about to ask what he had said before her closed her eyes and didn't hear anything else.

She didn't know where she was, but whatever she was laying on was entirely too uncomfortable. Something cold was on her forehead, but it felt really good. Her body felt hot, and she felt a sharp pain in her side. She heard low whispers around her, and felt something graze her side. "Ow," she groaned quietly.

"She's awake!" she heard a familiar voice and for some reason it soothed her. "Buffy, love, are you alright?" The coldness on her forehead dabbed her cheeks.

"Ow," she said again, slowly opening her eyes. She was immediately assaulted by Spike's cerulean blues and in close proximity. She blinked several times, and he pulled away. He was on his knees beside her, and behind him was her friends, all surrounding the couch and looking at her curiously. "What happened?" she asked as she tried to sit up. She grabbed her right side and laid back down.

"Buff, you were right!" Xander exclaimed.

"About?" she said groggily.

"About Walsh making a Frankenstein!"

"Frankenstein was the doctor," Willow corrected.

"Whatever. You were right. Riley told us you guys found the thing in the woods by the crime scene."

"You had gotten a few of your ribs broken, and it seemed you have bruised your larynx." Giles said, handing her a large glass of water and a bottle of pain reliever.

She happily retrieved them and swallowed probably a few pills more than she should have along with all the water. She handed them both back and rested against the armrest, with Spike's help allowing her to move. She smiled in thanks to them both. "I remember trying to fight him... But... Giles, he was strong. Like, stronger than any demon I've ever fought, strong. He was fast, too. He blocked every single move I made. It wasn't right..." She looked around, and realized that Riley wasn't there. "What happened to Riley? Was he okay?"

"Better off than you, pet," Spike said, stroking her cheek.

"I just wanted to thank him for helping me. Adam would have probably killed me."

"W-who's Adam?" Tara asked quietly.

"The monster. Adam's the thing Walsh made in 314."


	24. Chapter 23

"Damn," Spike said as he placed her feet into his lap. He could feel Giles' eyes on him, and he knew that he _should_ tell them how to beat the monster; however, he couldn't. He didn't know what he could mess up, and this was something they needed to figure out. He perked up as he realized something: he couldn't tell them, but it didn't mean he couldn't help them... "Right, well it sounds like you need to get into that lab and fish out some details," he said as he stroked her arm.

She smiled lightly, and nodded. "You're right. Riley can't tell us anything, and the only way to know how to kill him is to find out what all he's made of."

"Aside from being part human, part demon, and part machine?" Xander asked, eyeing Spike's hand on Buffy's arm. Spike didn't remove it.

"Yeah. I mean, what demons did they use? Who was the human? How does the computer part work?" Willow asked intrigued.

"The only thing I recognized was its arm," Buffy replied. "It was from one of the Polgara's, one of the ones I captured, the first time..."

"Buff, it's okay. You didn't know that's what they were going to do," Xander said, trying to console her.

"I know. Please, don't tell me it's okay anymore. Two people are dead, and there's no telling how many more will be by the time this _thing_ is dead..." She groaned as she stood up, waving off Spike and Xander's helping hands as she stretched.

"Feel any better, pet?" Spike asked, immediately by her side.

"I'm okay," she said with a small smile. "Xander, do you still have some of those army clothes from Halloween?"

He furrowed his eyebrows questioningly, but nodded. "Yeah... why?"

"Because. We're going to break into the Initiative," she said firmly.

"No!" Willow, Tara, Spike, and Giles said all at once.

"Guys, we have to. There's no other way to get information on this thing. Will, have you tried hacking in?"

"Several times," she said with a gulp. "But..."

"But what?"

"But I can't get past the seventh firewall. I've tried every algorithm I can think of. Nothing works."

"Not even some mojo?" Buffy asked, wriggling her fingers.

The red head shook her head, almost violently. "You can't really mix magick and technology. There's too much that could go wrong."

"More of a reason for us to get down there," she said pointedly.

"With Xander?" Giles asked skeptically.

"Giles, there's no one else who has even the slightest bit of military training—"

"I do," Spike said.

"You can't go down there..." she said in a hushed tone. "If they catch you, there's no telling what they'll do to you..."

"I'll do it to help you," he said as he stared into her frightened green eyes.

"I won't let you..." she said, looking away.

"But you want me to?" Xander asked, bringing them back to reality.

"It's too dangerous for Spike, Xan. They won't hurt you. You're human."

"So are you! But Walsh just tried to have you killed!" he exclaimed.

"But that was just her! Not the whole place. They all know Spike is escaped, but they don't know where he is..."

"No one except Riley," Willow said quietly.

Buffy's eyes widened as she realized that. "I hadn't thought about that... Spike, you have to hide. Please! I can't... won't... let them get you!" Her eyes pleaded with him, and he knew he couldn't say no.

"Fine..." he said quietly.

"Thank you," she said. "Xan, you don't mind helping, do you? I promise, nothing will happen to you." She was begging. She needed him. He knew he couldn't say no.

"I'll do it."

"Thank you. C'mon. Better get going now," she said, grabbing the boy's arm lightly.

"Buffy," Giles said, catching her attention just as she reached for the doorknob. She turned and looked at him, and she knew exactly what he was going to say. "Do be careful."

"Always," she replied. The door shut behind them. Neither of them looked back as they ran to Xander's home. Neither of them talked as she waited while he changed, and they made their way to the campus.

"I forgot the Initiative was here," he said as they walked into the Lowell House.

"Yeah... C'mon. It's upstairs," she said, taking the steps two at a time. "Stay there," she said putting a hand up to stop him from getting the way of the mirror-scanner.

"Why?"

"I'm the only one who can pass the retinal scan," she said as the beam started to flow over her.

"The—eww! I don't wanna see that!" he exclaimed, stepping away.

"_Retinal_ scan, Xander," she repeated. The doors opened and she could feel the apprehension.

"Why am I not entirely comfortable by the arrival of the man-sized microwave?" he chuckled. She just rolled her eyes and walked in. He followed in silence as the elevator began its descent.

"I'm just glad they haven't deactivated my clearance yet," she said, stepping out. She quickly pulled on a white doctor's coat that was hanging and pulled the glasses from her pocket. She slid them on and grabbed the clipboard. "Come on. We're not going to have much time when they realize I'm me..."

A few scientists were approaching them and Xander reacted. Badly. "Quick, pretend to make out with me!" he exclaimed quietly as he pushed her lightly into a corner.

"What? What're you talking about?" she asked, pushing him away.

"Well, I uh... you know, in the movies, the guy and the girl have to hide," he said lamely.  
"Please. Could you possibly draw more attention to us? This is the Initiative, Xander. Military guys and scientists do not make out with each other!"

"Well maybe that's what's wrong with the world. Ever think about that?" he joked.

"Please be serious. You see that room?" she said, pointing to the area that said "Authorized Clearance Only."

"Yeah."

"314 is in there. We need to find Dr. Angelman," she looked around for a moment before seeing the aforementioned man. "There he is!" They immediately began walking toward him. She carefully listened to what he was saying to the other doctors around him.

"Are they all accounted for?" he asked, looking at the list in his hand.

"All except for Finn, sir," one of the younger ones replied.

"Find him. He needs to get back on his meds. There's no telling what he's experiencing right now." The doctors nodded and left him alone. Buffy up behind him as quietly as she could.

"Dr. Angelman. How nice to see you," she said.

"Miss Summers!" he exclaimed, not loud enough for anyone to notice.

She raised her eyebrows, trying to mentally communicate to tell him to keep quiet. "I want to see what's in 314," she said, looking form the gun Xander had in his hands back to the doctor.

"Of course," he said, walking to the door. . He punched in his number and let the two younger people in. They didn't noticed the emergency code he hit, too. "So, what is it you wish to know?" he asked.

"I want to know about Adam," she said easily, looking through some of the files that littered the countertops. "I know he was made in here. I know Professor Walsh died in here, and I know he killed her."

"And how do you know that?" he asked.

She carefully pulled the top of her collar down, revealing the massive bruise that had been result of the monster's grip. Xander gasped as he saw it. He was amazed that she could even talk. "I met him," was all she said. She let go of the cloth, and looked away. "Now, what can you tell us about him?"

"I was wondering when you would show up," he chuckled.

"Oh, so this wasn't a surprise?" she replied. "Now, stop. I'm not in the mood for your games. So tell me. What went on in here?"

"I was made," Adam said, dropping from a hidden panel.

"Wh-... Adam?" Dr. Angelman gasped.

"What are you?" Xander whispered.

"I'm a kinematically redundant, biomechanical demonoid, designed by Maggie Walsh. she called me Adam, and I called her Mother," he responded.

"Adam," Angelman began, "Maggie would want you to stand down."

"Yes. But I seem to have a design flaw," he said systematically. The look on Angelman's face made Buffy realize that there wasn't a single thing the Initiative could do to stop this thing.

"So we meet again," a voice said from behind them.

Buffy turned her head to the voice and saw Riley. "Great. So, we're just havin' this great big party," she said sarcastically. No one responded.

"Brother," Adam said with a threatening smile. "I've wanted to talk to you. You see, Mother wrote things down. Hard data, but also her feelings. That's how I learned that I have a job here, and that she loved me."

"She wasn't your mother," Riley spat, "and she didn't love you."

"Is that really the issue?" Xander asked quietly.

No one said anything about that. "She made you because she was a scientist."

"Riley..." Xander warned.

"Maggie was your mother, too. I know, you have a birth mother, but after you met Maggie, she shaped your basic operating systems. She fed you chemicals to make you stronger. Your mind and body. She said you and I were her favorite children. Her art. That makes us brothers. Family."

"No," Riley said, stepping forward. "I'm not like you."

Then, the creature asked the most confusing question. "That's pain, isn't it? Why? Because your feeding schedules have been interrupted? Or do you miss her? Tell me," he pushed.

"I'll kill you," Riley growled.

"You won't. You haven't been programmed to," Adam replied.

"I can't be programmed. I'm a man."

"It's here," the monster said, pointing to his chest. "The plan she had for us. How it ends. Do you want to hear?"

"Buff, I think we really, really need to get out of here," the boy urged.

"No," Riley said defiantly. He pulled a gun and pointed it at Adam. The creation easily popped it out of his hand and hit him. Riley responded with a punch of his own, but only hit the metal casing on the side of his face. Buffy tried to intervene, but was thrown to the ground by one punch from Adam. He resolved quickly and threw Riley across the room, only to see this other young boy rushing toward him. He tossed him back, too, and was then assaulted by the girl. It wasn't hard to stop her, either.

Adam saw as Dr. Angelman tried to run away, but he had other plans. "Doctor," he said easily as he passed the Polgarian blade through his torso. Riley charged at him, jumping on his back and wrapping his forearm around his throat, trying to put him into a sleeper hold, but to no avail. Adam turned and stabbed him as well, not caring that it was his 'brother.' Buffy ignored her earlier idea to stop just charging into battle, and tried to hurt him the best she could. She ended up thrown against a door.

"Thank you," Adam said as he looked down on the tiny beings that tried to cause him harm. "This was most interesting." He climbed the stairs and never looked back.

Buffy checked on Riley, who was putting pressure to the wound in his side. "Are you okay?" she asked as the emergency teamed finally burst through the doors.

"I'll be okay," he coughed.

Forrest and Grahm led the group and went straight to their friend. Others looked to Xander who told them there was a demon loose. "It's part demon, part machine," Buffy clarified.

"And you just so happen to be in the neighborhood?" Forrest accused.

"She's telling the truth!" Riley exclaimed the best he could. "He killed Angelman. He went up through that vent. Go. Now!" he ordered. Some of the lackeys did as they were told and went up to the stairs to inspect the area.

"C'mon, Buff, it's time to go," Xander said as he helped her up. Other under ranked guys escorted them out, and Buffy knew her invitation was permanently revoked. It didn't matter she knew enough now.

**AN: I have new stories! There is one called The Challenge, based on a challenge I found in the forums.**

**And also one called The Incident that takes place after Seeing Red. **

**Just take the unnecessary dots out. Please read and review! I would love your opinions.**


	25. Chapter 24

Fourteen days. It had been fourteen days since their run-in with the newest monster called "Adam." The gang, including Spike, had met up at Giles for their latest meeting.

"Patrol has been totally uneventful," she said, waving her hands around as she paced. "My kill count's way down."

"She means there's been less bad-guy activity," Willow whispered to the most recent addition to their group, Tara.

"Well," Giles mumbled, "we know what that often indicates."

"Buffy doesn't make her quota?" Xander smirked, shaking his finger toward Buffy, "Bad Slayer."

"Well, I wish it were that innocuous," the older British man said. "But with Adam around, I feel he's involved somehow." They eyes looked between him and Buffy, nervousness passing through the room.

Again, to Tara, Willow whispered, "When things get slow, it's usually because there's some extra evil brewing." Tara nodded and smiled, liking that she was in the middle of things. She liked being part of the group. A moment later, Willow's eyebrows furrowed as she remembered something. "That's weird though, because the channel I've managed to hack at the Initiative says they've been busier. The squads are bringing a lot more demons... They've got demons coming out of their ears!"

"So, the activity's shifted, but not stopped..." Spike grumbled.

"Yes, it's fascinating actually," Giles agreed.

"To an extremely bored person, maybe," Anya said, uninterested. "All you're really saying is slow week for Buffy. Busy week for those army guys. Pardon me if I delay the freak out until we actually know something."

"She's got a point," Buffy agreed. "It's not much to go on."

"See, Buffy agrees with me," she said with a smile. She ignored the look he gave her and starts to stand. "Let's go to the movies!" she exclaimed to Xander.

Giles immediately got defensive as she spoke. "I confess—it could be nothing, but it—it could also indicate any number of threatening scenarios."

"Fine," Anya groaned. "What would you like us to do?"

"Well, I suppose you could… I think we should all—" Giles mumbled.

"Keep an eye out for threatening scenarios?" Buffy said with a grin.

"Precisely…" Giles grumbled.

"Well, that was a thrilling hour," Anya said as everyone started gathering their things.

"You know, I don't really appreciate you snide remarks, Anya," Giles said pointedly. "No, I have a great deal of experience in these matters," he continued. Behind him, the door opened and for a moment, he wondered why no one bothered to knock. He pulled his glasses off and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He didn't see that no one was paying any attention to him, and he continued talking. "... and if I say there is a matter of some import brewing, I-I..." _and no one's paying any attention, _he thought as he replaced his glasses. He turned to see what had garnished their attention only to see a young man he hadn't seen in months. _Oh, dear Lord._

"Hey," the small redheaded man said nonchalantly.

"Oz," Willow whispered. Recognition appeared on Tara's face, and although she never met him, she knew who he was. Willow looks between the girl sitting next to her, and the man in the doorway, confusion etched across her face. "When—when did you get back?" she said, not moving from her seat.

"Pretty much now," he said with a shrug.

Xander looks around, and steps forward to his friend. "Oz, man. Hate to sound grandma, but... you don't call, you don't write."

"Yeah, sorry," he replied as monosyllabic as ever.

"So are you here-here, or are you just passing through?" Buffy asked apprehensively.

"Well, um, let's not, uh, bombard the poor chap with, uh, questions right off. Can I get you something, um, tea?" Giles asks, removing his glasses again.

"I'll pass, thanks." His attention returned to the petite redheaded woman, admiration in his eyes. "Look, I'm going to Devon's to see if he's got a place I can crash. But... I was hoping that we could talk. Later. Tonight."

"I guess so," she replied, uneasiness sweeping through her.

"I'll come by your place?" he asked, resisting the urge to touch her.

"Okay," she said with a small smile.

"It's great to see you guys again. Really," he said, walking out of the room. Most words he's ever said.

"Everyone's uncomfortable now," Anya said blatantly.

Buffy eased over to her friend, touching her arm lightly. "You okay?"

She didn't have time to reply before Tara was up and grabbing her few things. "I just, um - I realized, um, I'm-I'm late for study group."

"Tara, wait," Willow said, reaching out to her.

"No, no, it's okay. You-you should be with your friends, and, and I-I should go."

"Wait..." she responded, but too slowly.

The group disbanded shortly afterward, and both Spike and Buffy were thankful that it was midafternoon when they had arrived. Just a few more minutes and they'd be able to leave, too. "That was intense," Buffy muttered.

"Just a tad," Spike nodded in agreement. "Think Red'll be alright?"

"I'm not sure... Oz just coming back when she was just starting to move on... That's almost as bad as me having to kill Angel only to have him come back to life," she said. "And that was tough. I don't want her to go through that. I don't want him to come back only to have to leave again. That's not right."

"What if he doesn't leave on his own? What if she tells him to?" Giles spoke up. They had actually forgotten they were still in his home.

"Then all the more power to her!" Spike encouraged.

"Will she, though? I know she just starting out her relationship with Tara, but Oz... he was her first in so many way. Her first boyfriend. Her first love. I don't know if she can handle that... I hope she can. God, I do. She doesn't deserve that kind of pain."

Minutes later, they were able to leave and start patrolling. As it had been the past few nights, there was zero activity. A restless Slayer was not a good thing. For several hours, the vampire and the Slayer sparred until they were too tired to move. But, being the gentleman he was, Spike walked her back to Rovello Drive after she insisted giving Willow and Oz some time to themselves.

Meanwhile, Oz and Willow were walking around the campus with an awkward silence between them. "Oz..." Willow said, fidgeting with her hands. "This is all so weird." Oz does the same. Neither are looking at the other. "I-I-I feel like.. this isn't really happening. Like it's a dream or, or something..."

"It's real," he said with a smile. "Look up." She looked confused, but complied. Her eyes widened as she saw what he was talking about. "I guess you stopped keeping track of 'em after I left."

"You did it? Where did you go?"

"It's a long story," he replied as she hugged him tightly. He cautiously wrapped his arms around her, and reveled in having her so close once again. She pulled away, no longer smiling, and dropped her hands to her side. "I talked to Xander, and he said you didn't have a new guy," he said.

She shook her head and mentally cursed Xander, figuratively. "No. No new... guy."

He sighed, and bravely took a step closer to her. "I know what I put you through, and I'm not gonna push. But I am... a different person than when I left. And I can be what you need now. That's what I want. That's why I'm here." She hadn't responded the way he hoped. No hugging or kissing or anything. She just hung her head and looked sad. "C'mon," he said, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. They walked back to her dorm, and he continued to talk about his transformation.

The next morning came, and neither of them had realized the sun had come up. Willow had just excused herself to the bathroom only to have missed Tara's visit. Oz opened the door, and although he asked if she would like to stay, he had a strange feeling about her. He could feel it, like there was some secret he wasn't in on.

Breakfast was uneventful, and Oz was happy to let her get some rest before her afternoon classes. Buffy came in quickly, dropping her books onto her bed. "So, how did things go?" she asked innocently.

"Umm..." was all the witch could say.

"Nothing happened, right?" she asked as she cocked an eyebrow.

She shook her head almost violently, but there was a smile on her face. "Nothing happened. We just talked. All night. And... it was nice. I've really missed him Buff, but it's just so different now."

"Because of Tara?" Willow nodded. "Look, Will, I know how this is. I mean, bear with me, because I know it's not the same. But, remember how Angel came back after I killed him?" Again, she nodded. "I feel like it's like that. Not the whole back-from-the-dead-thing, but just the being back in my life just as I was starting to move on." She sighed and tried to think of something. "Will, you gotta let him know. Let him know that you're sorta seeing Tara now. Or don't. But you have to choose one of them."

"I know," Willow said, a tear starting to fall from her eyes. "I don't wanna hurt anyone, Buffy."

She wrapped her arms around her friend and pulled her into a tight hug. "No matter what, somebody's gonna get hurt. And the important thing is, you just have to be honest, or it's gonna be a lot worse." She heard her gulp loudly, and she knew her friend was scared. She released her from the embrace and held her attention. "Wills, we all love you. Me, Giles, Xander... And Oz. All we want is for you to be happy, whether it's with the werewolf or the witch," she said with a smile. "I swear, none of us are meant for normal relationships."

"Life on the Hellmouth, huh?" Willow giggled.

"Yeah," Buffy nodded, "but I wouldn't change it for the world..." They smiled and Willow decided there was enough time to see Tara before their next classes.

The entire walk to the girl's room was nerve-racking. _What should I say? How can I explain?_ She thought frantically. _ The truth. The truth is always the best…_ She took a deep breath and calmly knocked on the door.

The door opened cautiously. "Hi," she said with a small wave.

"Hi," Tara replied, looking at her shoes.

"I can only stay a minute. I have class," she said.

"Me, too," the blonde replied.

"Look, Tara, I just wanted to let you know, what you saw earlier, it wasn't—"

"It's okay," she said as she cut her off. That wasn't something she usually did, but she felt like she needed to. "I always knew, when he would come back—"

"We just talked! Nothing happened."

"Oh. Really?" Their eyes met and smiles crossed their faces.

"But, you know, it was intense. Just talking. We have a lot to talk about." She took another breath and continued talking. "I kind of feel like my head's going to explode."

The air around them was quiet before either of the felt like they could speak. "Whatever, you know, happens? I'll still be here. I mean, I'll always be your friend."

Willow started to panic. "Of course we'll be friends! That's not even a question!" _How could she think that?_

"But I'm saying, I know what Oz means to you…" she mumbled.

"How can you, when I'm not even sure?" Willow muttered. She felt an uneasiness in her, and she hated it. "I mean, I know what he _meant_ to me. But he left. And everything changed. I changed. And then we…"

"It's okay," Tara said, wanting nothing more than to hold this girl who looked so scared and heartbroken.

"It's not okay. I mean, Tara… the time we spend together is…" She can't finish her sentence. She just shakes her head.

"What?"

Tears start to fall from the redhead's eyes, unable to keep them contained anymore. "I don't know. It's just—life was starting to get so good again, and you're a big part of that! And here comes the thing I wanted most of all…" _How can I be sure I want him now?_ "And I don't know what to do. I want to know. But I don't," she said.

Tara finally pulls her into a hug, and whispers in her ear. "Do what makes you happy."

It was several minutes later before they pulled apart and smiled. Willow knew it would be better to tell Oz, and soon. The two women parted ways,


	26. Chapter 25

Spike was lying on a sarcophagus, patiently waiting for Buffy to show up. To anyone who may have wondered in, it would appear he was either sleeping, or dead, and that's precisely what he wanted. He heard the door open, and there was a foul odor that followed. He still didn't move. He felt something reach for him and just before it touched him, his hand shot up, grabbing the thing's arm before speaking. "From the sound of those massive mud flaps I'd peg you as a demon, which means you're in for a world of –" _Adam… Shit. _"Pain…"

"Spike," it said mechanically, "I want you to come with me."

Slowly, Spike sat up, and for a moment, he was worried how the creature knew him, and what exactly he needed to do. "Do you?" he asked curiously. "Let's go then." Spike swung toward the creature, but the punch did nothing but hurt the vampire's hand. "Ow," he said as he shook the lingering pain from his hand.

"Come," he said. "You're going to help me with my problem."

"Why's that, exactly?" Spike asked, cocking his head to the side.

"I'm going to help you with yours." Adam turned and jumped down the hole in the back of the crypt.

"Huh… Interesting," Spike mumbled to himself. He followed the _thing_, careful to keep some space between them. "And what problem is that, pray tell?"

"The chip in your cranium. I can help you get it out."

"Uh huh…" He was concerned, of course. He could always double cross the thing, and there wasn't anything it could do to him. _Except rip my bleedin' head off, _he thought, looking at the demon and human arms that were apart of him. The sewers continued to the edge of town, and Spike knew they were near the caves right behind The Initiative. Adam's lair. Lucky him.

"I know you seem uncertain, but there are some things I need you to do before I help you. Call it, a test of good faith," Adam said as he gave him a misshapen smile.

"Right… What'd I need t' do?"

"My goal is simple. I want to make a more advanced way of living. The merging of two things to create one great race. But, I need to get rid of this girl," he said, pointing to a snapshot of Buffy. It looked like her pass ID for The Initiative.

"Well, that sounds like a lot of fun," Spike said, still unsure.

"I think so, too." The thing sounded like it was grinning.

"Yeah! Count me in for the crazy fun plan!" a vampire said from across the cave. Spike had never seen him before, and he had a desire to fling a stake into its heart. Apparently Adam had given it a similar look. "I'm gonna feed the minions," it muttered.

The two 'superior' beings turned back to each other and continued their plan. "You see my problem, though. Total annihilation of humans doesn't help me. I'll be needing heavy casualties on each side."

"I get that," Spike nodded, intently looking through his papers, making it look mindless. "I'm still not sure how the Slayer fits in."

"The humans need a leader. A champion," Adam said as-a-matter-of-a-factly. "The Slayer can do that—can even the odds. And she holds influence over Riley," he said, producing a picture of the army fit man.

Spike kept the scoff to himself as he took the picture under the pretense of studying it. "Yeah. Thing about the Slayer is, she's a whiney little thing, but when it comes to the fighting, she does have a slight tendency to win," he said, rubbing his side secretly. _Even when we're just sparring… Hurts like hell…_

"Then I guess you should be on her side," Adam said easily.

_You have no idea… _"So, this goes down, the chip comes out, yeah? No tricks?" He didn't care. This was all for show anyway. He already knew how this ended, and he knew this creature would die soon. 'Just not soon enough,' he thought, looking over the creature in disgust.

"Scout's honor," Adam replied, holding up three fingers in salute.

"You were a boy scout?" Spike asked, holding back a chuckle.

"Parts of me," he said easily.

_Ew._

...

Tara had just parted from Willow, wearing the sweater the redhead let her borrow. She loved it. It smelt just like her. She heard a voice call for Willow but didn't pay it any mind until she noticed the figure walking towards her. _Oh goddess... Oz._

"Oh - hey," he said easily. "I thought I sm-heard Willow."

_He was about to say something else... He doesn't know I know..._ "Hey," she said. She looked down and saw a stack of books in his arms. "You're coming back to school here?" she asked as easily as she could.

He smiled, and she realized why Willow could love him. "Pretty much. I'm feeling oddly motivated."

_As in it's because Willow's here..._ "That - that's great. I mean, it's great for you and Willow, right?" she asked, trying to get away quickly. She didn't like where this was going already.

"I hope so."

"Good. That's...Because, really, you two belong together. I think it's for the b-best..." It was times like this that she hated her speech impediment.

He smiled and looked at her sweater closely. "Is that Willow's?" he asked, reaching for the fabric.

She pulled away hesitantly, trying to back away. _No... Not now. Can't do this..._ "I hope you'll be v-v-very-"

He cut her off before she could finish her sentence. There was a strange look in his eyes, and she really didn't wanna be where she was at that moment. "You smell like her. She's all over you, you know that?"

Immediately she turned away, mumbling, "I can't. I can't talk about th—th.."

He caught up to her quickly, and she knew he knew. "But there's something to talk about?" He was silent as he processed the new information. "She's...involved? But she said -"

"I-I have to g-g-g-" she said trying once again to get away.

"We talked all night and she never said anything. Nothing. I -" She took her chance. She turned and tried to frantically walk away. "Stop!" he called as he caught up with her. "Is she in love with you?" he asked with raw emotion. He was upset.

_Not good. Werewolf. Bad tempers... Oh no._ She saw his eyes turn an unnatural color

"Talk to me!" he urged, trying not to shake her. "What is... what-" that's when he saw it. He felt it. Looking down at his hand, he saw thick patches of fur pushing through his skin. _No, no, no..._ he repeated mentally. He looked at the girl in front of him and inhaled. He smelt her and Willow, together. "Run," he managed to say before his demon took over.

Without a second thought, she did as she was told. She knew there was a classroom not far from where she was, and she prayed she could make it in time. Maybe she could barricade herself in long enough for him to cool down. She made it to the empty room; and just as she tried to shut the door, Oz landed against them roughly and she yelled. She ran up the stairs, desperate to get away. Behind her, she heard something, someone familiar. She turned in time to see Oz get hit with three stun rifles and she hoped he was okay.

One of the commandos approached her and asked if she was alright. She realized it was Riley, and although her first instinct was to move away from him, she knew she needed to help Oz. "R-r-Riley! That's-"

"I'm glad you're alright, but we can handle this now," he said as he followed the other guys.

She was in a panic for obvious reasons. As soon as the guys were out of sight, she ran to Willow's room, praying Buffy would be there. She was panting heavily when she arrived and a small portion of her criticized herself for not bring in better shape. She knocked frantically, and waited for someone to answer. The door opened to see a smiling Buffy.

"Oh, hey Tara. Will's in class..."

Tara nodded and gulped down air as she tried to tell her friend what happened. "The... mmandos... Oz!" she managed to say.

"Whoa, slow down. What about Oz?" Buffy said, pulling the girl into her shared room.

"After Willow came to talk to me, I-I was walking to class and I ran into Oz. He-he sm-smelt her on the sweater. H-h-he c-confronted me about our relationship... I-I-I didn't know what to say... B-but he t-turned! And he chased me! The co-commandos caught him and t-took him away!"

Buffy went bug eyed as she heard the words. "Oh, god... Okay, Tara, go straight to Giles'! When you get there, tell him they got Oz. Tell him to call Xander. I'll get Willow, and we'll meet you there!" Tara nodded and walked out of the door.

Buffy desperately looked around her room, looking for anything that might help. Quickly, she changed into more Slayer-worthy clothes and pulled her hair up. She grabbed a small bag of her best weapons, and tucked Mr. Pointy into the back of her pants.

She slung the bag over her shoulder and locked her door, quickly making her way to Willow's class. She groaned as she knocked on the professor's classroom door, not knowing exactly how he would handle this situation. It's not as though she could say, "Excuse me, could I have my best friend? These army guys that live under our campus have captured her ex-boyfriend who happens to be a werewolf!" _Yeah, because that's believable_.

The teacher gave an angry look to the girl who had disrupted his class. "Yes? Can I help you?"

"I'm sorry, but I need Willow Rosenburg. There's a family emergency," she said a lot calmer than she felt.

The balding man turned to the classroom and glared at the redhead sitting in the second row. "Ahem, Ms. Rosenburg, it seems you have a family emergency." Willow gathered her things as she gave Buffy a curious look, but said nothing as she approached the door. The man stopped her and said in a low voice, "It is a good thing you have perfect attendance and a perfect grade, or else I would have just told her to leave." The tone was borderline threatening, but Willow only nodded.

Once they were free from onlookers and eavesdroppers, Willow finally asked what was wrong. "We're going to Giles'. I have to break into The Intiative."

"What? Again? Why?" the witch asked, confused.

"Because they have Oz."


	27. Chapter 26

It was dark by the night they had their gear together, and while Buffy briefly wondered where Spike was, she knew there were other things to worry about. Like rescuing Oz.  
"We can't wait any longer," Xander said as he pulled an Army green sweater over his black shirt.  
"I know," Buffy says, placing a dagger in the sheath tie to her ankle. "Okay. Xander, you and I will go in. We've done it before-"  
Anya cut her off before she could finish. "Can I just ask? What's the deal? I mean, this guy hurt Willow, he's in town for one day - and you're all willing to go off and die for him?"  
The look on everyone's face meant they didn't understand how she could ask. Oz was one of them. Honorary member of the Scooby gang kinda thing...  
Willow started to get angry. "The deal is, he's my… He was my boyfriend and none of this is his fault," she said, glaring at Anya. She shifted her attention to Buffy and said, "I'm going with you."  
Buffy responded as she always did when he friends volunteered. "It's too dangerous, Will. Besides, we need you to hack into the city's electrical grid with Giles. We have to try to power-down the Initiative."  
"Giles can do it without me. I can't just sit here," she said, sounding a bit hopeless.  
"I-I'll do it. I'm no whiz but I can do enough," Tara said, showing her support for Willow.  
Buffy nodded in agreement, though she didn't really like idea. "Fine. You'll back us up. The only way I know in is through the elevator at Lowell House - and my clearance is long gone." 'Why hasn't this come up before now?'  
Xander spoke up, "So we grab a guy, make him take us." He shrugged like it would be that simple.  
"Or you could just use the back way. Hell of a lot less bother," a British voice from behind them chimed in. They all turn to see Spike standing near the door. Buffy and Tara smile welcomingly, while the Xander dismissed him completely.  
Giles, however, seemed a bit upset by his sudden appearance. "How'd you get in?"  
The 'younger' Brit chuckled and pointed to the door. "Door was unlocked. Might want to watch that, Rupert, someone dangerous could get in."  
Xander scoffed a looked through the layout of papers. "Or someone formerly dangerous and currently annoying."  
"Hey now," the blonde responded. "None of that."  
"Why are you here, Spike?" Xander growled, looking up from the desk.  
"Heard the wolf was back in town and got snatched. Came to help. But I also get a kick outta jacking up those army ginks myself." The room was silent for a moment as they looked between the two overly testosterone fueled individuals. "Besides," Spike said, pulling his duster on tighter, I hear things from other guys who've made it out. I can get you in, no alarms, no cameras - no waiting. No snagging."  
"But how-" Xander started.  
"Okay!" Buffy interrupted. "Tell us on the way. Change into these and we'll head out," she said, thrusting military issued clothing at him. Spike nodded, taking the clothes and walked to the bathroom while Xander eyed him intently.  
As soon as the door shut, Xander faced Buffy with steely determination. "Buff... I don't trust him."  
"You don't have to. But I do."

They were on campus once again, dangerously close to the caves Adam was hiding in. The air around them seemed to give them chill, though only Spike knew why; however, he had a hunch Buffy suspected.  
Xander groaned and gripped his crossbow tighter. "I've mentioned how much I'm going to kill you if this is a scam, right?" he asked, trying not to stake him then and there.  
Spike rolled his eyes but said nothing to anger the git any more than he already was. "Look - would I wear this if I wasn't on the up and up?"  
Willow chuckled lightly, "You do sort of look like an evil olive..."  
Buffy was tired of hearing their banter, and wondered for a moment if that's what they sounded like. She spotted something metallic in the side of a hill, and a feeling of dread swept over her. _Must be it,_ she thought as she walked closer. "Guys - check it out..." She ripped the doors open easily and she thought passively if maybe they weren't even locked to begin with.  
Spike looked happy. "For a nasty town like Sunnydale, nobody seems to mind their locks." He made a point.  
_Shouldn't the people that live here know better? I mean really! There are worse things than vampires..._ Buffy thought as they looked into the darkened hole, her eyes on him warily.  
"You first," Xander said, tapping him with the base of the crossbow. Spike grudgingly obliged. The others followed, each curious to what lay inside.

_And that helped…_ Riley thought as his cell locked. After seeing the werewolf transform back into a human, a human he knew no less, he was shocked, but he knew he had to get the young man out. He wasn't looking so well, no doubt from the scientists "treatments." He looked up as the door opened and the colonel himself walked in. Riley-the dutiful soldier-straightened his back and legs and saluted to the older man.  
"At ease," he commanded.  
Riley obeyed, dropping his hands in front of him and stretched his legs to a more comfortable stance, but he was still on high alert and most definitely not at ease. "Permission to speak, Colonel?" he asked.  
Colonel McNamara looked at him and scoffed, "Denied." He grinned and flipped open a file he had in his hand. A picture of Riley was on the front. "Being new around here, Finn, I had a look at your record and Professor Walsh's notes. Until recently you were an exemplary soldier, headed straight for the top, are you aware of that?"  
Riley remained silent, but nodded in response.  
The colonel continued, "Then you meet this girl, this Slayer, and suddenly, you exhibit signs of disloyalty. You abuse your command. And tonight... To release a lethal HST back into the population-"  
Riley interrupted, and knew automatically it was a bad idea. "Sir, the prisoner is a-"  
"You'll speak when I tell you to!" he said, snapping the folder shut in the younger man's face. "Tomorrow I'm going to institute a court martial, investigating the extent of your involvement with the Slayer and her band of freaks. They're anarchists, Finn, too backward for the real world." He was walking toward the exit now, and Riley could feel his rapidly beating heart in his throat. "You help us take them out; you might save your military career. Otherwise, you'll go to your grave labeled a traitor. No woman is worth that." He knew he was leaving a stunned agent behind, but he knew Finn will make the right choice.

They were lucky Spike was right. No cameras, guards... Nothing. Easily, they approached McNamara's chamber. _Almost too easy_, Buffy though as she and Spike leaned against their respective sides of the door. She gave him a quick nod which he returned and counted quietly. On three Buffy and Spike burst in to reveal a sleep jarred McNamara. Xander and Willow braced themselves at the door, cautious of any unexpected visitors. The lights leave the room and are quickly replaced with the emergency back-ups. Buffy smiled to herself and thanked Giles and Tara for doing a good job.  
On instinct, she faced the man lying on the bed and smiled. "Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Her demeanor changed abruptly as she brandished a smaller crossbow from her pocket. "You know who I am?" Cautiously, McNamara nodded as he glanced around the room. His eyes lingered on Spike a second too long before turning his attention back to the armed girl. "Then you know I'm pretty good with this thing. Get dressed," she ordered.  
The Colonel stands and pulled some wrinkled clothes on. Again he looked to Spike and finally opened his mouth. "You," he rasped out. "You're Hostile 17!"  
Buffy smiled once again and responded with a shrug. "Yeah, he is. But it doesn't matter." She stepped back slightly and raised her bow. "Now, take us to-"  
"Finn stays in the brig!" The colonel interrupted. "Helping an HST escape is a court-martial offense and you're only gonna-"  
Willow gaped at that news. "Riley? He tried to help Oz escape?"  
Buffy could practically hear him grind his teeth at his own mistake. "That's who you came for? The wolf?" he asked, knowing the answer already.  
"Who else?" Buffy asked as he poked him lightly, pushing him down the hall.  
"So, we're not gonna rescue Riley?" Xander questioned, whispering into her ear.  
She shook her head lightly. "No. He's one of them. He'll be safer with them..." The group walked together in silence as they headed toward the captivity cells. "Which one?"  
Reluctantly, The Colonel looked toward a cell just down the hall. As they moved closer, Buffy could sense something was off. As if on cue, commandos surrounded them, pointing the Taser guns right at Buffy's group of renegades. "Stay back or I'll do a William Burroughs on your leader here!" she demanded.  
Everybody, Commandos included, looked stumped. Spike raised his scarred eyebrow and asked, "You'll bore him to death with free prose?"  
Buffy practically growled but settled for rolling her eyes instead. "Was I the only one awake in English that day?" She looked back to the small army around them and pointed her crossbow more firmly at him. "I'll kill him!" she stated, trying hard to keep from saying "duh" as well. Valley girl talk didn't exactly portray power, and it didn't really scare easily.  
The Colonel gave a nod to his men, who lowered their weapons. No one looked at ease, and it seemed that with one wrong move, any of them could be dead.  
"Get him out," Buffy said curtly to the man in charge.  
The Colonel nodded again to one of the commandos, who obliged. Oz stepped forth, dressed in baggy clothes that are obviously the ones Riley had given him. He appeared mostly unharmed, but also very strained just to stay upright.  
"Oz..." Willow said, stepping toward him.  
Oz started to tremble, and he immediately knew the cause of his transformation outbursts. He turned away from the woman he loves and braced himself. "Will, get back," he said almost hatefully. It was for the best...  
Buffy looked to Xander, who held the tranquilizer gun. "Xan..." Buffy said as a warning. He raised the tranquilizer gun, and they continued to watch as Oz slowly overcame the urge. He looked completely human, but the act itself had left him drained.  
Spike stepped forward and whispered to Oz something no one could hear. Oz only nodded in response and raised his arm. Spike slung it over his shoulders and used his respective arm to hold the weakened man up.  
As one massive group, they reached the main lab and guns are pointed at them from every angle. Spike's free hand twitched on the trigger of his crossbow, but kept it pointed to the ground. No use in endangering them all now.  
Oz was weakened terribly by the multitude of tests taken on him, and he gladly took the support that Spike offered. The closer they move toward the more Willow just wanted to touch him, to let him know she was there for him. Her hand almost touched his shoulder when he said something that almost broke her heart again. "Don't... Please," he muttered as he felt himself shifting again.  
Her eyes grew wide, at first in pain, but then in realization. She was the reason he kept shifting. She caused it. _It was my fault..._  
They finally managed to get to the elevator, carefully stepping in and separating Willow and Oz as much as possible. Just as the doors were about to close, Buffy's eyes caught someone familiar. Riley stood just twenty feet away, holding a gun in the group's direction. She gulped as she realized she had made his choice and that he would stick by it.  
They exited the House without a word until they felt the need to separate.  
"Umm, Oz, you're staying with Devon, right?" Buffy asked, pocketing the crossbow. He nodded weakly, still clinging to Spike. "Can you walk?" He seemed to ponder the question before be tried standing upright. He straightened himself, and found that he could walk, just not very easily.  
"Right then," Spike said, wrapping an arm back around him. "I'll help ya back to ya mates. You all head to Rupes, and make sure he and the girls are alright."  
Xander nodded and gave Oz a quick manly hug before retreating from the circle. When he realized Willow wasn't by his side, he turned and faced her. "Wills, you coming?" She looked from Xander to Oz and seemed torn, what she should and needed to do, versus what she wanted to do.  
"I..." she looked to Oz again, and she could see the pain on his face. She had betrayed him. If she would've just waited...  
"You can come," he said quietly. "I think its best that we-talk." She looked back to Xander who just nodded and continued walking.  
Buffy gave her a tight hug and promised to see her later. "Tell Tara I'll see her later, too, okay?" Willow asked as she pulled away.  
"Of course," Buffy said. She looked to Spike and asked, "You'll be alright?"  
"'Course," he said with a small grin. "See ya in a bit."  
She hesitated as she looked to Oz. "Oz, look... I'm sorry about what happened with the Initiative. I should've warned you or-"  
"It's okay," Oz said as he interrupted. "Really. If you'da known, you woulda told me. See ya, Buffy." He smiled lightly and she couldn't help herself as she wrapped her arms around the small guy.  
"You're always welcome here," she whispered. "We're all your friends, and we care about you... Just be safe."  
"I will," he replied, patting her back in reassurance. She stepped away and looked between the three figures in front of her. Quickly, she turned away and caught up with Xander.


	28. Chapter 27

The trio hobbled to Devon's apartment, slowly but surely. No one said anything until they reached Oz's van. Carefully, he leaned against the cold metal and sighed as it cooled the ache in his side.

"So..." Spike said, subconsciously tugging his sweater down.

"You can go if you want," Oz said.

Relief was immediate on the vampire's face but concern quickly replaced it. "What about Red?" he asked.

"I'll be okay," she squeaked. Oz nodded and pulled himself into the driver's seat.

"Right. See ya, yeah?" he asked. The two redheads nodded and Spike turned to walk away.

"Spike?" A voice called. He turned and raised his eyebrow. Oz peered between the door and frame. "I just wanted to say, 'thanks.' Ya know, for saving me. Tell Buffy and Xan?" Spike nodded again and left the two to their goodbyes.

Willow and Oz sat in his van on opposite sides. Willow was careful not to touch him, and he her. Finally, she spoke. "This thing looks pretty good considering you drove it overseas," she joked.

"It broke down outside of Mexico," he explained. "I traded my bass to have it fixed…" He was silent for a minute before continuing. "I shouldn't have come back now… I thought I'd changed…"

"You _have_ changed. You stopped the wolf from coming out! I saw it!" she exclaimed, trying to make him feel better.

"But I couldn't look at you. It turns out the one thing that brings it on, is you. Which falls under the heading of ironic in my book." He looked at his hands and gripped the steering wheel. He hated that…

"It was my fault. I upset you," she tried to justify.  
"So we're safe then, 'cause you'll never do that again," he said sarcastically.  
She rolled her eyes, but continued to be serious. "When you spoke to Tara..."  
"I knew."  
She bowed her head and willed herself not to cry. She was hurting the man she loved, and it hurt. "I'm sorry. The last thing I wanted was—"  
"It's - it's okay," he said, cutting her off. "But you're happy?"

That question caught her by surprise. She thought about it a minute and smiled. "I am. I can't explain it—"

"Maybe safer for both of us if you don't," he warned.

She was quiet again, carefully choosing her next words. "I missed you, Oz. I even did this spell that let my will be done just so I could stop hurting, but it didn't work. At least, not for me. It looks like it worked for Spike and Buffy," she laughed, wiping a tear from her eyes. She could see him a small smile on his face, and continued. "I wrote you so many letters - but I didn't have any place to send them, you know? I couldn't live like that."

"It was stupid to think you'd just be waiting."  
"I was waiting. I feel like some part of me will always be waiting for you. Like, if I'm old and blue-haired and I turn a corner in Istanbul and there you are - I won't be surprised. Because  
you're there with me - you know?"

He finally looked to the woman he loves. "I know. But now's not that time, I guess."

"No," she said sadly. "What are you going to do?"

"I think I'd better take off."  
"When?"  
"Pretty much now."'

"Oh," she said. She nodded and he took the risk of hugging her one last time before his departure.

…  
Buffy and Giles paced his darkened living room waiting for spike to return. They had sent Xander, Anya and Tara home whenever they got back. Buffy swore to Tara that either she or willow would be by later, but everyone was alright. The Watcher and the Slayer were simply anxious to talk to the vampire that helped save the day.

After what seemed like hours, though it had only been about twenty minutes, Spike eventually waltzed in. "Finally!" Buffy exclaimed throwing her arms around him and into a tight hug.

"Miss me pet?" he teased as he hugged her tighter and kissed her check.

"Yes! But that's beside the point. Where were you all afternoon?" She pulled away and crossed her arms.

He sighed and shook his head. "I've got some stuff to tell you," he said looking at both of them seriously.  
"Is everything alright?" Giles asked.

"Yeah. Well, no. Sort of. I'm fine. You're all fine. But I have a feelin' you won't exactly trust me after I tell you this..." he looked at them and seemed to be a little apprehensive. "Adam's contacted me."

"What?" The two asked him simultaneously.

"How? When?" Buffy asked.

"Today. This morning. Apparently the bugger knows where my crypt is. He wants me to join him," Spike admitted.

"Join him?" Giles asked. "So you know what he's planning?"  
"Yeah. You were right, love," he said, glancing at Buffy. "He wants to build a demon hybrid army." They were all silent as the words sunk in.  
"How?" Buffy rasped.

"A massacre. A bloody massacre. And he wants you to be the ring leader."

"Ha!" She scoffed. "How does he figure that'll happen?"

"The labs," Giles said in a whisper. "That's why there's been so many added. He wants so many so he can have plenty of parts..."

Buffy felt like she was going to be sick. She paled significantly and leaned against Spike's arm. "And he knows I'll protect the humans." She sat on the couch and grabbed a notebook that was sitting in front of her. "I've got a plan."

...

By the time the two left Giles', they were exhausted. It had been a long day, but they were entirely too anxious. "I'm second guessing myself now," Buffy said as they strolled toward Restfield.

"Look at me, love," he said, as he gently grabbed her shoulders. "It's a good plan. It'll work."

"Even the parts that are just speculation?" she asked.

"Hope for the best, plan for work, right?"

"Yeah," she nodded in agreement. "I hate that Xander doesn't like you," she said, effectively changing the subject.

He chuckled and slid his and into hers as they started walking again. "I don't think that's ever gonna change." She was quiet before he realized she was upset. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said too quickly. He gave her a disbelieving glance and she sighed. "It's just... He never likes my boyfriends. He hated Angel. He didn't like Ford or Scott. Parker so doesn't count." She sighed and blushed, but didn't meet his glance. "But then there's you, and you surpass them all. I just don't get it."

Spike chucked and it earned him a sharp glare. "You remember that bint from your school. What's her name? Carmandy? No. Christina? It started with a 'C' I think..." Buffy just looked at him with raised eyebrows. "She works with Angel in L.A..."

"Oh Cordelia! Yeah what about her?"

"You remember how she always acted like every single guy should immediately fall in love with her as soon as she walked by?" She nodded. "That's just the opposite of you. You don't expect anyone to, but so many do… He's jealous."

"Of..?"

"Me. Angel. Any guy you've called yours."

She groaned in frustration and sat atop a headstone. "I love Xander, I do. But it's more like a big brother kinda love. I told him that when he first asked me out but..."

"But he had hope. When Angel left, he hoped he could fill the spot he left."

"But what about Anya?" she asked, hoping some of it would eventually make sense.

"Anya… Poor chit… Nice girl, but she's too good for him. To him, she's convenient. I hate to say that, I do. But it's true…"

"What should I do? I mean, it's obvious I don't love him like that, right? I mean, I don't lead him on or anything, do I?" she asked, becoming increasingly conscious of the things she's done or said to him ever.

"I don't think so, pet. But we think differently."

"I'll just have to tell him. That's going to be an awkward conversation…" she chuckled lightly.

"It'll be alright, love. Just do what you have to do…"

…

Willow exhaled deeply before knocking on Tara's door. It was a moment before she heard rustling on the other side of the door. It finally opened, revealing a red-eyed Tara. She chose to ignore that small detail, in hope she could fix what she had almost messed up. "No candles? Well I brought one… It's extra flamey," she said with a tiny smile. She tenderly handed it to the blonde, who stepped aside to let her in. She could feel the tension in the air._ The sooner the better…_ "Tara, I have to tell you that—"

"I understand," she said, cutting her off. "You have to be with the person you l-love." She stared at her feet.

"I am," she said courageously.

"You mean?" Tara asked quietly, looking up from the dark.

"I mean," she said more confidently. They smiled together, but each still looked timid. "Okay?"

"Oh yes," Tara said enthusiastically.

"I feel horrible about everything I put you through. I'm gonna make it up, too. Starting right now."  
"Right now?" she asked, hopeful.

Willow only smiled and moved forward, staring intently into the eyes of her new love.


End file.
